ChewBekka
Expert February 2015

For those of you that let your BMs pick their own dresses...

ChewBekka, on May 16, 2014 at 1:05 PM Posted in Style and Décor 0 42
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How did it turn out? Do you have pictures? I am struggling to find an American designer that makes dresses to fit all my girls. My FH's sister is a size 28 and I am having a hard time finding a dress for her and the rest of my BMs. I don't even care if they all wear the EXACT same dress as long as it was same designer, material, and length, but I'm still having a hard time with that. (I'm looking for a navy full length) All BMs have agreed to want to stay under $200. I'm about ready to just say screw it and let them pick their own and hope it turns out for the best....

42 Comments

  • R
    Dedicated May 2014
    R ·

    Generally have heard negative stories when they were allowed to pick their own.

  • N
    Master September 2014
    Now I'm Mrs_M ·

    My girls are spread all over the US, so I thought this would be the easiest way for us to get dresses since we couldn't all go together. At first, I gave my girls the guideline of knee length, nude or blush dresses, and no high-lows. They ALL ended up going to David's Bridal. So I made a color choice (ballet) and told them to pick any style dress, knee length and again, no high-lows.

    This is what they ended up purchasing. Each girl loved it because she got to chose a dress that she felt comfortable in, that fit her body type, and she was able to set her own budget.


  • songbird
    VIP March 2014
    songbird ·

    I did it exactly BECAUSE all the girls were such different sizes. Resign yourself NOW to the fact that some dresses will likely be more expensive than others to make this work. In my case, it was the MOH dress for my 7-mos preggers sister.

    Find a retailer that makes dresses in sizes/styles that would work for the majority of the girls. Contact them. Find out if they sell the fabric. Have the sz 28 dress made.

    We ended up going with short dresses as they were more budget-friendly.

    We looked at...

    - Ann Taylor (online for wedding stuff, NEVER buy full price as there is always some sort of coupon or sale available at least every month).

    - J Crew (very spendy but if you pick the dresses in advance and then stalk their 30% off sale or clearance, it could work)

    - Nordstrom online, Donna Morgan line's knee length dresses. Available also in plus sizes. Might be just at or slightly over $200 depending on the dress.

  • songbird
    VIP March 2014
    songbird ·

    We also looked at David's Bridal but had some difficulty finding a fabric and color we liked. If we could have found a fabric/color, they would have been a contender.

    AND, depending on the color, seriously consider the sticking to the same fabric for all dresses. Different fabrics photograph differently. This might bother you or it might not... It did bother me.

  • GrayCatVintage
    Master October 2015
    GrayCatVintage ·

    I am letting my two girls get whatever they want as long as it is green. I do not care honestly. I just said no boobs, no butts, and no material like linen that wrinkles so badly that you look like you crawled out of bed.

    I agree that you are going to have a very hard time finding a size 28 dress - she will probably have to have one made for her.

  • L
    Beginner March 2014
    laeberge ·

    I let my girls select their own dresses from the Alfred Sung line. I found it easiest to select the color, fabric and length (I also did long navy) and let them pick their style. Weddington Way allowed me to put some styles in a "showroom" and I invited all my bridesmaids to join in. They then ordered sight unseen from various online stores and all of them turned out great. No complaints on the process!

  • JustMarried'14
    Master September 2014
    JustMarried'14 ·

    I have 4 girls: sizes 4, 6, 16, 24

    I gave them a length that they all told me they wanted to wear. We privately discussed budget so I knew the cap(200). I let them go get whatever dress they wanted at the dress shop. My MOH chose a dress (size 4) that has a little bling on it. The other three girls all chose the SAME dress! It was great! They should be here in a few weeks.

    Both will be in Charcoal Gray


  • songbird
    VIP March 2014
    songbird ·

    Here's a picture.


  • ~Neschi~
    Super September 2014
    ~Neschi~ ·

    I gave all my girls a color swatch from david's bridal but told them they could get their dresses wherever they want as long as it's floor length and appropriate for the church ceremony. None of them have gotten their dress yet (that I'm aware of) I just told them as long as they have it that day, it's ok. I'm just hoping it works out lol

  • Samantha
    VIP August 2014
    Samantha ·

    I had that problem but I also ended up hating the dresses my BMs said they wanted for various reasons...I ended up just taking them to a dress shop and letting them try on dresses then agreed to one and since they are all over a size 16 it was an extra $60 charge...I just paid the $60 extra for everyone's dress and everyone was happy

  • Koch Bride
    Master September 2014
    Koch Bride ·

    I don't have pictures yet but I'm a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding and she just told us we could get any length/style as long as it was silk chiffon in dusty shale from J. Crew. One bridesmaid got her dress on eBay, another on Tradesy and I got mine during a sale from J. Crew for $130.

    Also- what about Bill Levkoff? My dresses are full length and with the exception of my one bridesmaid who needed to order the tall size, all the dresses were under 200.

  • Lalgal
    Devoted January 2015
    Lalgal ·

    Allure bridal had plus size bridesmaid dresses and are pretty affordable. Being a plus size bride, maybe look in your area and see if any shops specialize in that. Mine did, and it was the best experience I have ever had. Being. Bridesmaid 13 times I was dreading gown shopping. The best thing I did was finding a place I could try on samples that actually fit was worth any amount of money!!!

  • Cheryl
    Dedicated September 2015
    Cheryl ·

    These are the ones my girls are wearing. My only requirement was having some type of shoulder strap. I picked out a list of about 30 dresses I liked and sent it to each of them and they chose from that. Haven't actually seen them yet as they all ordered within the last week but I'm hoping they look at least close to the model picture. The most expensive one was the long one at $162. The others were in the $130 range.


  • SoonToBeMrsD
    Super September 2014
    SoonToBeMrsD ·

    My sister is MOH and I let her pick the dress for everyone of my 5 girls. One of my BMs is 14 and petite. But everyone else has a similar body type, so she chose something that would flatter everyone. Pic is attached. If you have such varying body types, I would try to get all the girls together if possible and try stuff on together. It may not be possible for them all to have the same dress. I think them all being comfortable is more important, IMO.


  • L
    VIP September 2014
    LSC_sf ·

    My BMs and MOH picked out their dresses. My request was not too short because my ceremony is in a church and same fabric/color. I went with them and they picked most of the ones to try on and I threw some in. They liked the short version of the dress they picked and then when they tried on the long one, they all fell in love with it and it flattered all of them. That's the one we went with. I hadn't imagined a long dress but once I saw it on, it was beautiful and they chose well! My MOH went on her own and tried on some long dresses and picked hers out. Then my groomsmaid chose between the two of those and liked the one shoulder better. That style seemed to really work well on their different body types.

    The first photo is the BM dress and the second is the MOH dress. They'll be in grape and it's a chiffon fabric. I didn't have any problems with them picking.



  • ChewBekka
    Expert February 2015
    ChewBekka ·

    This is all super helpful! Keep the comments rolling.

    Unfortunately only 1 BM and my MOH live in state and the other 5 live OOS so getting them all together to try on dresses will be tough but I'm sure we can make something work. I'm with you @MrsD comfort over exact matches. I just want to find a designer and fabric and then they can go with whatever.

  • Stephanie
    Master November 2014
    Stephanie ·

    I have two bridesmaids (down from three--one dropped out). They're wearing whatever they'd like. I'm not really concerned about what it'll look like in photos.

  • ItsGoodToBeKing
    Master February 2014
    ItsGoodToBeKing ·

    Yep they all picked their own. Everyone was happy.


  • tnovak
    Super August 2014
    tnovak ·

    Im letting my two teenage daughters pick prom style dresses (they want to reuse them for dances at school) one is a size 0 the other a 6, they have more flair with sparkles and letting my two moh pick out styles that match their body type one is almost 6foot tall and is about a 28 size the other is 5 foot tall and a size 18. I am also letting them choose from a pallet of colors (spring colors) that best fit their skin tone.

  • Brittany
    Super August 2014
    Brittany ·

    I tried that. In the end they all said it would just be easier if I told them what dress to get.

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