Divorce is real and it happens...

The only exeption to divorce in the Bible is marital adultry \and of course abuse

Not everyone has the same religious beliefs. Even some pretty devout Christians can get divorced for reasons aother than adultry and abuse.

When I hear "I don't believe in divorce" it reminds me of believing in fairies and unicorns. I don't think we can say we don't believe in it because we have proof of how real it is all around us. While I hope my marriage will be the one and only for me I'm sure everyone does when they get married and things happen, life happens. Like someone else said we can't predict the future, we can only work hard on our relationships to make them work.

Actually abandonment is also an exception in the Bible. Meaning if the person leaves and doesn't want to be there...you are free to go...

Read it for yourself: “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (I Corinthians 7:15)”

I love this post Shannon! It happens!! This is my second marriage and my first lasted 2 months...yup that's it. We were too young, didn't know what we wanted and he had a problem with staying off dating sites. It wasn't all him, we both just weren't ready and were pushed into it by family. Now we're both happy and have moved on in big ways. I'm engaged to a man I've been head over heels for since I was 15. Now my parents got married at ages 16 and 20 and have been married 35 years and are happy. My brother has been married for 10 years and isn't happy. You never know what will happen or how things will turn out. You just have to work your hardest and hope your love is strong enough to keep things going.

I too hope my marriage lasts and we get to grow old and cute together, but i have grown apart from past long relationships and i am not one to say things wont happen in my marriage and i grow apart from my FH. He does not believe in divorce and does not see it as a option but if things do change for the worse, i will not allow myself to stay miserable for a silly belief.

"I don't believe in divorce" or "Divorce is not an option" rings as naive to me. It reminds me of teenagers who believe that they can and only will love one person in their entire life. Some do, but most do not. Divorce should not be your first option, but it should be an option. Sometimes what you want and what the other person wants is not the same, and no amount of compromise can make you happy together. Working through something like a tragedy or compromising about date nights or who does dishes is not the same as compromising on your life goals or values. Sometimes the compromises on the latter two just create resentment and more unhappiness, and it's better if you are apart.

Well, I personally can't speak for everyone on their beliefs, but for what I know, me and fiance decided divorce would be an option on a few circumstances. I brought up the divorce issue and we both have the same beliefs in it. He doesn't like the idea of divorce and isn't big on it either. However, we are on the same page as how other people see divorce is their business and their decision. No matter how much I can praise or disown it, they have to sleep with the decision, not me.

I agree with That One Chick- I do not believe in divorce for ME but I know plenty of people who have gotten divorces for very good reasons and I do not frown upon them. I also believe that marriage shouldn't be taken lightly, therefore I don't think someone who has only dated the person for a year should be getting married. FH and I have been together for going on five years and I can't imagine having married him when we were only together for a year. You need time to know each other and learn about each other before you rush into marriage.

I agree it's delusional and self-righteous, but I also think it's just plain naive. It's overconfidence resulting from true lack of any reasonable life experience.

@Honey, I can't say that is always the case either. My god aunt and uncle NEVER dated and barely knew each other and got married. Back story is that my god father was in prison and my god aunt was preaching in the prison ministries and they talked maybe once or twice and he was told by God that he was suppose to marry her. He didn't believe it and said that the next time he speaks to her, he will ask her to marry her (thinking she will say no). Well, my god aunt said something told her to say yes before he even ask and when he asked, she accepted. They have been married for over 10 years.

I don't usually like chiming in on posts like these, but, here I go...

I assume that there is no one on here saying "oh yeah, I plan on getting divorced" but, let me tell you...divorce is the best thing that ever happened to my mother. Growing up, my mother was unhappy and distant for the first half of my life. As a kid, I thought it was me. I thought because she came home from work and went right into her room that it meant that she hated me. I thought that because she never wanted to go on family vacations that it meant that she hated me.

When I was 15, my mom told me she was getting a divorce. Happiest day of my life!!! I love my step-dad, don't get me wrong. He did not abuse her, he did not cheat on her, he did not have a gambling or drinking problem. My mother was just UNHAPPY! If that's "stupid" then so-be-it. I call it realistic. Have you ever had a friendship that just couldn't be repaired? People change, situations change.

We live in this "crazy" society where we are given

I was one of the ones in the last forum who posted about divorce not being an option. I was quoting from an article about interviews conducted and they asked couples who had been married 50 years what their secret was. They said they went into marriage believing divorce was not an option which made them work harder at keeping their relationship healthy. At the first sign of trouble they didn't go running for the courthouse. With that being said I am also not naive enough to believe that it doesn't happen. My mother has been divorced twice, so I know full well it happens. I think people get divorced because it's easier then working on their marriage. I'm not saying this about everyone who has been divorced but seriously, look at Kim K - 72 days and her marriage is broken beyond repair??? Not the best example but you get my point. Divorce is the best option for some while others just want out instead of putting in the effort it takes to stay married.

I do get a chuckle out of the brides who gush about how they will never get a divorce ... who goes into a marriage thinking about getting a divorce?? You can have the mindset that divorce is not an option but in reality you still need to know that it does happen and down the road just might be an option for you.

The option to leave our marriage. Separation of church and state? How dare they!!

If my mother had stayed with my step-father, I would have left for college resenting her and never wanting to go back. My mother is my best friend and I would have missed out on a beautiful relationship. I was too young to see that my mother's unhappiness was not because of me. I didn't have the ability to understand such an adult concept.

To criticize others because divorce is "dumb" just sickens me. My FH and I have been to hell and back and 2 years ago, we would have been getting married to please everyone else with a big "WEDDING" ...let's not forget the most important part of these ceremonies...the MARRIAGE!

Divorce is not something to be ashamed about!!! That being said, I am hoping and praying that my FH and I live a long and happy life together. But you never know what will happen in the future....

Okay, I'm off of my soapbox now!

Honestly saying I dont believe in divorce for me, is not a ridiculous thing to say. Does divorce exist out there, of course it does, but it does because people make it so acceptable and one or both parties dont take marriage seriously and see divorce as an option. If you really dont believe in divorce for yourself you take time when getting to know your partner and you make sure that your partner believes the same. Does shit happen sometimes, sure it does, but if both partners are really true to their beliefs then divorce wouldnt come up.

We both come from divorced parents, but one party, or both always saw divorce as an option. Both my husband and I dont see it as an option. We know the work it will take to keep from going down that road, and we are both committed to doing that work.

Nowadays divorce is the easy way out that most people take. People dont take their vows seriosuly and they stray and then just throw their hands up in defeat. Its sad.

@Jessica C. - I'm right there with you! My mom was in an unhealthly marriage (due to abuse and drinking) and it was the longest 9 years of my life. Divorce was the best thing she could have EVER done! Now she is happily married to a great man. For her divorce was the only option.

Cont'd

Its sad that people make a mockery of marriage by rushing to the alter for whatever reason, and then later saying... i didnt really love them, or I didnt really know them blah blah blah... its all excuses to me. Are there rare scenarios where divorce is needed.... yes, some abusers and such are sick people and able to mask their issues long enough to end up married and then change... but for most people, they divorced becuase they didnt want to make the effort before, or after the marriage to make sure that it worked. PERIOD

Sigh. I like the idea that divorce is the "easy way out." Easy to say for anyone who has never gotten a divorce.

Let's see - I had to start completely over. Move back to the US. Crash on a friend's futon. Take a job as a file clerk because it's all I could find. Find an apartment. Make new friends. Deal with the emotional fallout of having all my hopes and plans for the future completely dashed. Deal with the judgment and the harsh looks from people who thought (and still think) that they're better people than I am. Losing mutual friends. Relearn how to date. Come to terms with the baggage and learn how to love again. Lose my in-laws, who I was very fond of (especially since I have almost no relationship with my own biological family).

Yep. So totally the easy way out. If by "easy way out" you mean jumping off a diving board and hoping there's water in the pool by the time you hit bottom. But knowing there's a big 'ol SPLAT waiting for you. Because that's totally easy.

Wow, well said, Shannon S.