Cash gift... Bridal shower

The reason is that it's tacky as fuck to ask for money. I think several people said that.

S&P, yess!! I'd be sooo mad if someone wrote that on a shower invitation for me. Aghast.

OMG Bea I love your poetry

Just dont do it.. Register for showerable gifts and if you hate all of the gifts and want cash, sell everything or whatever you want. Just don't ask for advice on here if you're going to be defensive and weird...

I feel like it could sound rude. Most weddings I've been to the shower is for gifts and then people sometimes give cash at the wedding. I would suggest having a registry even its a small one because people will just end up buying you unwanted items. Good luck!

@Bookcasehat- oh, I knew people would get huffy, but I also knew people would post actually insightful answers.

For some reason several people get there panties in a bunch for absolutely no reason. Seriously... This post causes you to curse and call someone 5... Etc. it's quite entertaining. So perhaps that is a bonus for me. But I am not satisfied with "because I said so." And to say it is tacky, is simply a "because I said so answer." Things like, how people would feel if they saw it on an invite, or how it would be boring to open a bunch of cards are helpful.

"No... Because you buy bathrobes for you BMs" is not helpful but pretty funny.

It is literally called a shower to 'shower' the bride with gifts. Yes its tacky to ask for money. But you know that. So why are you asking? Do Betternexttime

Thanks everyone. This has been both entertaining and helpful.

Spazzy pretty much explained why at the beginning of the post. If I give you $50 in front of your friends and family (because that's all I can afford) yet everyone is giving you $100+, I'll look cheap. But if I buy $50 worth of cute kitchen or bathroom stuff and make a basket out of it, it won't look cheap and I'll feel better not letting everyone else know what I spent on it.

If you shower a person with money they're typically called a stripper.

OP at her bridal shower.

@Holly- loooove!!!

Do you think panhandling is ok?

To me it makes me CRINGE when a bride or a person on the corner of the street asks for money.

I work extremely hard for what I have. I work full time, go to school full time and I've raised a child on my own for several years along with a niece.

If I saw a bride ask for money I wouldn't go and I wouldn't give her crap.

I will give a gift of a toaster, or blender, or those super huge soft towels from Costco because it will help the couple set up and/or upgrade their new home.

The bride isn't working for anything and she isn't deserving of any cash. But I could give her a gift she could use in her home every day not money that she can blow on a wedding that I'm more than likely not going to go to since I'm helping pay for it

WTF did I miss? OP....no. just no.

Yeahhh @Fishingbride not the same thing. At all.

ETA: Exactly @OhHappyPaulsons. I'd rather buy something off your registry instead of giving you the cash and looking like a cheap ass just cause I'm broke.

@Alyssachu, agreed.

If someone asked me for cash blatantly, I would not go. In fact, I got a wedding invitation for a college friend that said "Please remember that cash gifts are perfectly acceptable." Yeah, that was a big fat "decline" from me.

People know how to give money. They probably even know that you'd prefer money. They'll give it to you if they want to. But, to reiterate PPs, the point of showers is literally to give you gifts to set up your house. If you don't need the gifts, don't have a shower.

Pretty sure I was shaking my head through this entire thread at the lack of reading comprehension. Good luck on the forum OP. You're going to need it! WW never forgets!

Good luck to your FH.

FH: hey babe, do you think you could help me with this?

OP: why?

FH: because I could use the help. I'm having trouble figuring out the numbers.

OP: why are you having trouble?

FH: because I can't understand the process. Could you help me or not?

OP: but you still haven't explained enough. You just saying you can't figure out the numbers or the process isn't enough. What about the process can't you understand? I need a reason before I can help you.

FH:.......

eta: grammar

The guys that panhandle around town here have climbed into nicer cars than I have. When I work at the UGM here the guys that check out as legitimate homeless are actually looking for work and we help place them (lots of orchards here) there's plenty of work for those that seek a job. Sorry if I offended anyone I just know a lot of the panhandlers here are not legitimate

Reasons it would be in poor taste to mention monetary gifts preferred on a shower invitation:

1. CK and Spazzy's posts spelled it out well. You're really putting people on the spot for the value of their gifts if you plan to have a traditional gift opening shower with mostly cards. It is not in good taste to single people out for having less money than others, many people would find that rude. Not being rude to your invited guests is a good reason.

2. Even though the bride didn't print that on the invitation, it still will reflect poorly on her (if I received an invitation that said monetary gifts preferred, I would think differently about the bride, assuming she had told her friend to put that because she didn't want to register OR decline the offer of a shower).

3. If you're not planning on having the bride open cards in front of all guests, it would still be in poor taste to have a shower with monetary gifts preferred. This goes back to asking for money being tacky. Bridal showers and shower registries really exist as a very narrow exception to the general rule of not asking for or expecting gifts. It's based on tradition, and as others have mentioned, the old fashioned practice of setting a bride up for her new household. Because we've lived with this tradition for a couple generations, many of us now enjoy giving our friends or relatives a nice gift that they will use in their household for their marriage. Many people also follow up a shower gift with a check for the wedding, not because we're asked or expected to, but because we can afford to and want to help the new couple out. If a bride really doesn't need anything for her household, that doesn't mean she or her friends can take the shower tradition and fit it to her needs. That narrow traditional exception for boxed gifts at a bridal shower just does not stretch to cover cash gifts. If a bride is privileged enough to not need shower gifts, and her friends still want to throw a shower, there are other options to honor her without being rude or tacky. You could host a recipe shower, a book shower, or a nice bridal luncheon or tea with no gifts.