Cash bar

@Alexandra; I'm sorry I got that wrong I edited by previous post

@LoveInDC no, because food and alcohol are very different things. that's like saying not giving someone vodka is the same as not giving them water on a hot day. two very different necessities.

Jaci - He's a southern baptist minister. It was an agreement made when he was ordained. He's also not allowed to wear jewelry. I don't make the rules. We knew him before he became ordained though, and he's going to be great for us.

Feel free to take some WW I'll share. Lol

@celia that's ok, even though it was written correctly multiple times in other posts because people were coming at me like I was having a cash bar just because I said the OP had other options than an open bar.

@jaci everyone agrees here because if they don't it's like hounds chasing a rabbit. Thank you for the suggestion but I understand etiquette maybe it could brush up on the idea that not everyone agrees with certain aspects of wedding etiquette.

Either pay for the alcohol or have a dry wedding. Expecting guests to pay for anything is rude.

@Marissa - I said "by your analogy". You're the one who compared alcohol to food. But the logic still prevails. Just because something isn't there doesn't mean that people won't notice.

@LoveInDC You're actually the only one who didn't seem to get the analogy. I meant that, don't dangle something in someone's face when it may very well be out of their reach (not within their budget, etc).

Because people don't expect to BUY things at weddings, they may be unprepared to. So while they may want the "steak" or drink, they cannot afford it. Sure, they'll notice there's no alcohol, but people are less likely to be sour about that than dropping 50 dollars in one night on mojitos they didn't intend to pay for.

Not even the same thing GryffinBride... she can afford to "house" them, feed them, and even "water" them with other various beverage choices. So yes, she gets to have her proverbial "pony"... remember attendance is optional, not a requirement.

@Celia - shes not using friendors, shes just having her family pay for several vendors entirely and not counting that contribution as part of the 5k budget, which is misleading as hell imo.

Trust me. People will notice. Expecting a glass of wine isn't an outrageous anticipation for an adult going to an adult party.

@Marissa - "People don't expect to spend money on food at weddings, so they will assume its free, and then be really disappointed to find out it's not." Please tell me how that's not directly comparing food and alcohol.

ETA: Also, who the hell accidentally drops $50 on mojitos?

@Marissa, my grandfather was an ordained Southern Baptist minister. He most certainly wore his wedding ring until the day he died (& was buried with it). He also performed my sister's wedding, & I have pictures of the beer bottle toast.

That (alcohol/jewelry) may be something his "area" restricts, but the Southern Baptist Convention doesn't do it.

Jaci, that's they key word there INDUSTRY. They are there to make $$. You don't need to feed into that to get married, have a nice wedding, or have a memorable event with those that you love.

Someone said previously that they bring an envelope of cash for the happy couple as a gift, which is VERY common. She also said that every time she has to open said envelope to buy herself and her FH a drink because the hostess was too cheap to porperly THANK her guests for witnessing their unity, it's less money that gets gifted.

I think that is goddamn genius. My drinking patterns are of no business of yours, but I like to have a drink or few during a 6-10 hour party period with food and dessert. I'm not going to get sloshed, and if I do that's my prerogative - I am an adult and will get myself home or to the hotel accordingly.

^exactly what I said earlier. Courthouse is just as memorable as a $200k wedding. Have the wedding you can afford to host. Alcohol is a part of that proper hosting.

I'll just wait for my pony....

@Kimi I wouldn't know. I'm not an ordained minister, lol. All that I know is he's a southern baptist minister and he's not allowed to wear jewelry (he has a wedding ring, so I'm assuming it's applied in another way), among a host of other things. I know he doesn't drink personally, and had no alcohol served at his wedding. His late father was also a minister and married FH's brother, who was also not allowed to have alcohol. Maybe it's a personal, running family tradition. I really don't know, but we're going to respect his wishes. We aren't drinkers anyway.

@LoveInDC I'm comparing the SCENARIOS, not the actual OBJECTS. It's metaphorical. Use your abstract thinking a bit, it's not meant to be taken so literally.

Cash bars tend to more expensive at weddings rather than other events. Guests would be paying a jacked up price for whatever they ordered

@Marissa - You are comparing identical SCENARIOS where the only difference is the OBJECT (food v. alcohol). The fact that's it's analogous means it's not literal. I'm not saying you're not offering to feed your guests. THAT would be a literal interpretation of what you said.

And I'm done with people who don't understand English today.

@FMW I'm confused. At first you said every couple deserves the first dance, cake cutting, etc. "the moments, and memories"

And now you said not to feed into the industry and that you don't need them to have a nice wedding.

First Dances, cake cutting, DJs, photography, the list goes on.. this is ALL industry. It's also a frivolous expense. You don't need them.

ETA: Meme added because there aren't enough on this thread