Cash bar

No.

I'm having a half cash half host bar. It's not in my budget either. And besides I think "rustic" themes are tacky but I'm. It going around telling people what to do at their wedding. If you lose friends because they had to buy a drink at your wedding then they weren't good friends to start with.

@nikki

I don't think that is true. My FH and I have a budget of $5,000. We are only inviting 95 guests and 50 of those are my family, and that includes cousins and aunts and uncle but you know what I have grown up wit them and we have all at one point or another lived in the same house together. The other half are FH family. I have a big family that is super close and that's just how it is. I know for a fact that each one of them would rather be with us and celebrate our wedding than have to be cut to afford alcohol. We are having an open bar at our wedding because we found a venue that allowed us to buy and bring our own which is the absolute only way that having an open bar was feasible for us. So you're trying to tell me that if I hadn't found a venue that I could bring my own alcohol, at which point I wouldn't be able to afford an open bar then I have no business having a wedding ? That is the most ridiculous statement ever.

@catiemac when I host a dinner party at my house I have drinks like water, pop etc. I usually have alcohol, like I mentioned earlier i think alcohol is great, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have a dinner and no alcohol. As a matter of fact I have been to many dinners where unless I had not brought a bottle of wine there wouldn't be any alcohol. And you know what if someone started throwing a fit because there was no wine my response would probably be to go walk your childish self to the store and buy one if its that important.

Also I just stated my opinion and gave MANY alcohol involving option where the guests would not have to have a cash bar so you guys can take that mess somewhere else.

@matt b

Lol I wouldn't actually. I already know that 90 percent of my guest list won't bring anything because of their ability to and I just don't freaking care. All I care about as a guest and host is getting to spend a wonderful day with family and friends. And guess what you can do that without alcohol. But whatever.

"Only" 95 guests. SMH, there are no words... im not even going to touch on how on earth 95 people are being fed for 5k, accounting for all the other costs like venue fee, flowers, officiant, dress/rings, alcohol...

My mom is from a family of 7 siblings, I have something like 38 cousins. FH's mom is one of 5. We still managed to keep our guest count right around 60 (and we had room for our friends!). You did not grow up and live in the same house as 95 other people. That is nonsense. If I havent talked to someone in the past 6 months, then nobody is going to die if they dont get a wedding invite.

If you can't afford to host your guests properly (and that includes beer and wine), you need to cut your guest list. If you cannot make a single further cut... then that means you are hosting a small, intimate wedding - meaning parents, grandparents, and your siblings. Under 20 between you and your FH, unless one of you is a Duggar.

If you can't host 20 people properly? Then yes, I can safely say that you can't afford to throw a wedding and would be better off doing a courthouse thing, going out to lunch/dinner, and saving up for a vow renewal later if you want the big party. "I dont want to cut the guest list" is not the same thing as "I can't". Nobody ever died because they werent invited to their cousins wedding.

@matt b

I mean I didn't mean to offend anyone but I'm only having a open bar because I was able to find a venue that allowed me to bring my own alcohol and wine. If that hadn't been the case then I would have tried some of the suggestions that I mentioned such as just providing alcohol at the tables. I don't think it's contradictory I just think that all people should be able to celebrate their wedding and that includes those who can't afford an open bar.

EDIT: **I'm only having and open bar** because I was able...

@ Alexandra, that would be a courthouse wedding with a nice dinner afterwards. Have the wedding you can afford.

Went to a wedding once that had an open bar, then closed it completely. Know what I did with some other guests? We found the bar downstairs and drank down there.

Celebrate a wedding =/= properly hosted reception

@niki did I say I grew up and lived in the same house with 95 people ? No I said my cousins aunts and uncles. And 95 people is not a lot considering how just my family is 50. And I have talked to all of them within the last 6 months. All the time actually so bye. But whatever OP I hope you are able to find a way to include alcohol without your guest paying for it. Either way life will go on. Good luck.

I'm curious Alexandra - how on earth are you feeding 95 people when your entire wedding budget is 5k? After photos, decor, rings, dress, venue fees.. that leaves barely anything for catering....

And I remain of the opinion that unless your aunt and uncles literally raised you in lieu of your parents, cousins can be cut as well as aunts and uncles. Is it a first choice? No. But you have the wedding you can afford, and any sane adult understands that some people choose intimate weddings.

We are doing drink tickets....everyone gets two each and then they are on their own. There will be FREE all you can drink flavored ice tea, flavored lemonade, flavored water, sodas, coffee....and of course the toast. We are fine with it and so it everyone we've mentioned it to on our guest list. I think it depends on your geographic location, setting, guest list....

@gryffinbride people don't have to get married at a courthouse just because they can't afford alcohol....

@niki $26 per person and I'm having a Sunday wedding which is more affordable.

@Alexandra, the whole wedding is a frivolous expense. All you need to get married is an officiant, a license, and witnesses. The dress, the reception, pictures, all of that is unnecessary to get married. You want to say alcohol is unnecessary, well the whole friggin thing can be unnecessary.

I've also been fortunate enough for my FML to ask to buy our bands, and my aunt our cake, and my grandmother and mother to help pay for my dress. I never asked for any of the help they all offered.

You're doing officiant, flowers, rings, suit/tux, dress, photography, venue, alcohol for 95 for under $2500? On what planet is any of this possible?

edit: oh, you have family paying for things. so in reality, your budget is actually much bigger than 5k - you're just not footing all of the bill. i wish people would be honest when making these unrealistic 'im hosting 95 for 5k' claims.

And yes, if you can't afford to buy your immediate family a couple of drinks and dinner.. then you should probably be getting married at the courthouse or doing the officiant in the park with just 2 witnesses type situation.

... i get the impression you think people are just entitled to a big wedding by virtue of being engaged.

@crescendogal - If you believe that people will always tell you to your face when you have a rude and convoluted idea, then you have a pretty naive view of the world.

If 50 out of 95 is family Alexandra, then you would be able to cut some of the 45 non family guests to be able to provide liquor. Considering you said you couldn't possibly cut family, but said nothing about cutting friends

Just saying, I DID want my guests to get drunk on my dime. They did, and it was awesome.