Cash bar

@gryffinbride the whole thing is unnecessary so what do you care about another persons choices then ?

@niki pretty sure I was honest when I said that family had offer to pay for things... And guess what if they hadn't had offered I would have scaled back and made different dress and cake and ring choices so that they would be in my budget. Believe it or not, and I don't have to justify crap to you , you can have a nice wedding for less money. And their contributions took about $1000 dollars off my back not MUCH bigger. Thanks.

And I don't think 95 people is a large wedding when I have been to 200-250 plus weddings.

You do not have to get married at the courthouse because you can't afford drinks.

It's a good thing I don't put much stock in your thoughts or impressions seeing as you don't know jack shit about me.

People are entitled to whatever goddam wedding they want and whoever wants to show up can and whoever doesn't, doesn't have to attend.

GryffinBride, I can't believe you're saying that a couple doesn't deserve to have a first dance, cake cutting, etc... just because they can't afford alcohol?? That's ridiculous. Every couple should be able to celebrate their love. And just because they can't or don't want to afford alcohol is no reason to deny them that. It's their wedding. They're paying. And if they don't want to pay for alcohol, then they shouldn't have to. If the guests don't want to come, then they don't have to. If it's REALLY that important to a guest, they can inquire of the bride or groom before..... Now, I think that's rude. But if you are basing on whether or not you're attending on the sole fact of whether or not they are providing alcohol, I think that's rude too. That shouldn't dictate whether or not you attend a lifetime event or milestone. When you die, are you really gonna say "Man I wish I never went to so and so's wedding. They had no alcohol. What a waste!" or are you gonna say "I wish I had been there to see so and so get married, and be apart of the celebration with our friends and family". Life is not about the money we spend on gifts, or even alcohol, but the moments, and memories... and you can still make those without alcohol.

Yeah, you missed the point sweetheart....

Natalie, you came on here asking if a cash bar would be alright to have. As wedding customs go, it's not alright. Your guests should not be taking their wallets out for anything other than gifts or cash gifts, and travel (all before wedding). That's what we are trying to tell you. It is extremely frowned upon. I'm sorry, but you really the one that's that's being rude, because you are not considering anyone's advice, except the ones who agree with you. There really is no reason for you to even ask the question in the first place. There's also no reason to swear. And you should change your avatar so that you don't look like a troll to everyone else. Bottom line: Have an open bar of beer and wine to cut cost, close the bar an hour or two before the end of the night, or don't have alcohol at all.

@futuremarinewifexo the other 35 are FH family and about 10 friends. But I don't need to cut anyone because I can afford to provide an open bar. My point was that some people have large and extremely close families and if that's all they're invitin I don't think they have to cut them for alcohol. That's all.

@TheFutureMrsWade - that's what you think makes a wedding? A first dance and cake cutting? How old are you?

FYI you totally missed Gryffin's point.

My friend had a cash bar and I had no idea. Everyone was so bummed I wasn't drinking with them. After figuring out why the groom put up a tab for me. THE GROOM! ON HIS WEDDING DAY! I was mortified! Now that's all I think about at their wedding. Just don't so it. People come to your wedding to have a good time WITH you so treat them like your guest.

...... you really missed the point Alexandra.

Lemme spell it out. It has nothing to do with 'lying', or 'justifying' anything - it has to do with the fact that your budget is not 5k and its disingenous to come on here and say 'you can host 95 people for 5k, i did it!' when you had other people chipping in significant extra amounts of money.

When you have other people throwing money in the pot, that money is part of your budget. Your budget is your 5k contribution, plus whatever your family and others are paying for. Christ on a biscuit.

Haha poor dear. I didn't even read through cause i know What it says. I am having a cash bar. We are buying a keg or two since there is a bar minimum. The way I look at it, if you HAVE to drink at a wedding...that's a problem

I'm wondering how you are having a cash bar in a venue you are bringing alcohol into? Are you charging your guests for alcohol you buy? Are you marking it up to?

The way I look at it @Amanda if you don't know how to host properly THAT'S a problem.

LoveInDC, no I'm saying which one do you think will be the bigger regret?? I'm not saying anyone will be thinking about any wedding other than perhaps their own on their death bed. But. we do think about regrets... things we wished we had done, attended, relationships that may have been fractured. I think it's a lot more likely to happen by not attending someone you love's milestone, than by the fact they didn't provide alcohol.

GymRat, I am 42, thank you. And I am not saying that's what constitutes a "wedding". But it is milestone moments of traditions that have been carried on for centuries. It is something little girls think of when they are envisioning their own wedding. It's something we have all looked forward too, and is probably on our photographers "must have" shot list. And no one should go without those, simply because they can afford tea, lemonade, and soda for their guests to wash down the food they provide, but not alcohol.

Yeah... I been dreaming about a pony since I was a little girl. Do I get that too? I mean, I can't afford the hay to feed it or the barn, but I deserve my pony!

I'd like to weigh in, but I just got home from a hosted event where I had >gasp< two glasses of wine! Yummy food, nice cabernet, & I even enjoyed the lecture.

My point is, hosted events are HOSTED. That is all. Good night.

@niki

I haven't missed any point because my budget is and always was 5,000. As I said before if they had not pitched in then I would have found ways to cut the amount spent on those items. I mean hell my dress was about 70 percent of that 1,000. Now if people hadn't offered to help me you can bet your butt that I would have bought that sample dress that I liked that was $100. Don't make assumptions about things that you don't know.

You are the one who has severely missed the point.

@amy no that was a mistake I made while typing. I went up and put an edit in.

@Niki; I can tell you how it's possible; cash bar, minimal food

@Cresendogal.... Drink tickets? Really? can they be traded for a giant stuffed panda?

I can't even .......

Oh wait! Natalie, is your cousin going to be your officiant?

I think you should go with a dry wedding. A cash bar doesn't seem great, drinks are so expensive. I'm having a dry wedding because our officiant (who is FH's brother in law & an ordained minister/pastor of our church) can't officiate weddings with alcohol. We didn't like it at first...but it's important to us that he marries us because we respect him a lot more than we would another stranger.

So, dry it will be, and no one will be offended. Having a cash bar is kind of like dangling a big juicy steak in front of someones face, and then telling them it's 150 dollars. People don't expect to spend money on food at weddings, so they will assume its free, and then be really disappointed to find out it's not.

So if you do a dry wedding, there will be no juicy steak. Does that make sense?

@celia

Not one of my vendors are friends

And as I have said multiple times, but I guess some people can't read, I am having an open bar.

Also I am having a buffet with two meats two sides and a vegetable. I would hardly call that minimal but obviously I have "really missed the point"

@Marissa - Do you realize that, by your own analogy, you're not feeding your guests and they won't care because there won't be food to remind them they want to eat?