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Lorren
Dedicated November 2012

BYOB Wedding?

Lorren, on August 1, 2011 at 3:57 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 54

My FH and I aren't planning on purchasing alcohol to serve at our wedding reception, both because neither of us drink at all and because we want to save money. I know it's pretty traditional to have champagne at weddings, and since we both don't drink because of personal reasons instead of religious ones, we don't really care if other people drink - and I know that there are going to be a lot of people in both of our families who are going to want to. Would it be considered tacky to allow a sort of BYOB wedding, or should we just set a 'no alcohol' rule for the reception?

54 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on February 3, 2020 at 2:28 PM
  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
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    Ultimately, the ceremony is for you and the reception is for your guests. If your guests drink, and you do not have a religous or legal objection, then alcohol is part of their enjoyment of the day and should be provided for them.

    On a limited budget, you could serve a punch or sangria, or see if you can bring your own cases of wine, beer and champagne (many retailers will let you return unopened cases).

    But BYOB is a definite no - it's a wedding, not a college frat party.

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  • Tina
    VIP September 2011
    Tina ·
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    Honestly, I would think it would be pretty tacky to include that on the invite to BYOB at YOUR wedding. I would just not have alcohol, but make sure to let people know it's a dry wedding.

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  • Nicci
    Master July 2010
    Nicci ·
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    My MIL told me to have a BYOB reception. I laughed and shuddered at the thought of coolers lining the wall of my reception. I agree with Shannon. The reception is for the guests and if you have no objection to alcohol in general at least do something simple for the guests. But a BYOB reception would come across as tacky and incredibly informal. Sorry.

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  • Jen P.
    Master January 2012
    Jen P. ·
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    Your venue won't likely allow BYOB anyway. I know the best man and groomsmen joke about sneaking in flasks (we're planning on just beer and wine), but realistically you aren't usually allowed to do that without an alcohol permit and/or a licensed bar tender.

    If there is going to be any alcohol, you should be providing it, otherwise, just opt for a dry wedding.

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  • Lorren
    Dedicated November 2012
    Lorren ·
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    Okay, that definitely helps. I really don't want our reception to turn into (like you said, Shannon) some kind of frat party, but I can already think of a few people who are going to object to us not serving alcohol. As I said, we don't care if other people drink, but we don't really want to pay for everyone to get drunk. I was thinking of serving sparkling cider instead - sound like a good alternative even though it's still nonalcoholic?

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  • April2012Bride
    Super April 2012
    April2012Bride ·
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    I'm not a fan of the BYOB...it would be better to just have a cash bar. That way you don't spend the money and if guests choose to purchase a drink they can. I think BYOB at a wedding reception isn't quite a "good look"...but that's just my opinion.

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  • J
    Master November 2011
    J&R ·
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    *If* you decide to do a BYOB - GET INSURANCE. You don't want to be on the hook for people injured b/c they were drunk, in DUIs, people who damaged property, caused injury, etc.

    But I do agree with others. At the reception, you are providing the party for your guests, not asking them to bring it. Then again, traditions vary greatly and you really have to know your guests to know whether they would be put off.

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  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    Adults generally don't have BYOB parties, they end after college for most people.

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  • Pumpkin's Sunshine
    Master October 2011
    Pumpkin's Sunshine ·
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    I am doing a beer/wine and set-ups wedding. That means if they want hard alcohol they can bring it in and I will have the soda, juice, etc for them.

    But I am providing beer and wine/sparkling wine.

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  • Kristyn
    Super September 2012
    Kristyn ·
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    Your best bet would be to cut costs somewhere else and provide alcohol for your guests - no one said you have to provide Patron, you can provide domestic beer, a few wine selections and possibly your basic liquors - or leave it at beer and wine.

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  • Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-)
    Master October 2010
    Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-) ·
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    Oh for the love of the Booze Gods. Please don't force your beliefs on to your guests. You don’t want to drink for personal reasons; don’t, no one is twisting your arm. You are throwing a party, so do it right. That means providing beer and wine at the very least. If you are strapped for cash and can’t afford it, at least have a cash bar.*can’t believe I just said that* You don’t want your wedding to turn into a frat party, treat your guests like adults.

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  • Nik_McAwesomepants
    Master October 2011
    Nik_McAwesomepants ·
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    If your guests know that you two don't drink for whatever personal reasons and you don't want to pay for their alcohol then I think it's reasonable to have a cash bar. Write this down because this is the only time I will ever say a cash bar is appropriate lol. Ideally a beer and wine option would be better then cash but I can understand budget restrictions. Perhaps a do a signature drink?

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  • Carole M (a.k.a "old tart")
    Master October 2011
    Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") ·
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    Nik....I was going to type the same thing!

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  • Katie
    Super June 2012
    Katie ·
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    I mean, to say "Adults don't have BYOB parties" isn't really true lol... Anytime any of my friends or I have parties for either a football game or a UFC fight or something along those lines... it's not "rude" to throw out the whole "we will have some beer, but your welcome to bring your own as well..." HOWEVER, those kinds of parties are completely different than WEDDINGS.... You could just buy some barefoot wine... it's really inexpensive... and GOOD lol... and get some beer.... I dunno how large your guest list is though... but that could work!

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  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    Do you mind if I ask how much your overall budget is? How much are you spending on your dress, photographer, flowers, decorations, favors, food, venue, etc...?

    Where can you cut from these things to make sure that you are providing your guests with the refreshments they deserve?

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  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
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    It's one thing to invite the guys over to watch the football game and not provide food/drink or ask everyone to chip in, it's another to throw a party (i.e. birthday, housewarming, christmas, wedding, etc...) and ask people to bring things IYAM.

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  • tram
    Super November 2010
    tram ·
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    Absolutely no byob.

    To provide wine and beer is not all that costly.

    At$5 per bottle (beringer has a good selection for$ 4-5)

    At $21 per 24 bottles case of beer

    You are looking at less than $300 for sufficient amount of alcohol for 150+ guests. Just negotiate w your venue so that they will allow you to provide your own alcohol.

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  • Cara
    Super September 2011
    Cara ·
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    Do NOT BYOB your reception...very very tacky and cheap. I'm sorry, but I know alcohol is expensive (we're doing a cash bar because of our budget), but if you're going to have an alcohol-friendly reception it needs to be provided for your guests not by your guests.

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  • Nik_McAwesomepants
    Master October 2011
    Nik_McAwesomepants ·
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    Two of a kind Carole! :-)

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  • Leyila
    VIP August 2011
    Leyila ·
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    I'm telling people if they want to drink they can bring their beverage of choice. There are too many alcoholics in my family and FH's who will drink all the booze and then make drunken fools of themselves. I had not planned on supplying any alchohol at all, but FH is insisting on buying a keg. I think it depends on whether you're having a laid back wedding or a more formal one. I did not put anything about BYOB on the invitation, but I have made a point to tell the more severe alcholics by word of mouth that if they want to drink they can bring what they want to the wedding.

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