BYOB Wedding?

Glenn - We're on a pretty limited budget - we're both still in college (and please, I don't mean to sound rude, but nobody give me the whole 'why don't you just wait' bit because I've heard it a thousand times and I really don't care about everyone's opinions on that) so we're already cutting costs everywhere we can. My mom paid for my dress, we're getting the flowers from a local market and the rest of decorations from one of my stepmom's friends for free, my sister is making the invitations, and some of my parents and my FH's parents are making the food. We're not doing favors because from what I've heard, no one takes them anyway. It's kind of at the point where if we serve alcohol, the only place we can draw from is the budget for the photographer, and the only photographers I've found who are cheaper than the one I like look as though they take their pictures with disposable cameras.

Leyila - that was kind of what I was thinking because it is a concern of mine and for the same reasons. The reason my FH and I don't drink is because we're both from families where almost everyone is or was a major alcoholic, and I worry that if there's a lot of alcohol available then they would drink way too much. I was thinking of just telling them in person or by phone or something (not on invitations - that I agree is pretty tacky) that they could bring a bit of their own since they would throw a huge fit if they didn't have anything to drink at all.

If you can't afford an open bar, which is understandable, why not offer a cash bar as other posters have suggested?

What exactly do you have to do to get a cash bar? Do you need a hire a bartender or get a liquor license or anything?

Can you not provide a cash bar option? I hate the thought, but it's better than no options at all. BYOB should NEVER be an option for a wedding, like I said weddings are for adults and I don't believe that adult parties involve BYOB.

Where are you having your wedding Lorren? Your venue should be able to provide you with a cash bar option.

The reception is at a local yacht club - it says we get "use of the bar area" and I don't know if that just means we have that space to use and have to provide everything on our own.

Most venues or caterers offer it as an option. Otherwise, you would need to look into your state's liquor laws for setting up your own bar. You would probably need to get a liquor license. You could probably buy alcohol in bulk and hire someone to work as a bartender.

I think if it's at all possible to arrange a cash bar, you should do it. It's easy on the guest and BYOB is very tacky.

No BYOB. If you have guests you worried about abusing alcohol why would you encourage them to bring their own. I think that would be worse because then you wont have a bar tender that can cut them off!

I understand totally about being on a budget. I also cant stand the thought of having a dry wedding personally. We are going to offer a rum punch for our guests along with a cash bar. It's the best we can do with our budget. Our venue also does not give us many options. To be able to afford decent food and the rum punch we are also go with a venue that is nice, but wasnt our top pic. The other place was more expensive so we stepped it down a notch in order to provide better food and entertainment.

So, not trying to be an asshole, but seriously how could you have booked a location without finding out the details of the bar? Did you also book without finding out the kind of food they will be serving?

I'd suggest making a list of questions (or search on here and find out questions you should be asking) and make a call/visit your venue to figure out details. Otherwise you might have a lot of surprises and find out about them to late.

No byob; at the very least, offer wine, beer, maybe a couple of punches; one with liquor, one without. It probably won't cost as much as you think.

I think you should have a cash bar, especially if your wedding is anything formal at all.

My FSIL told me about an engagement party that they went to that, on the invitation it stated that instead of bringing a gift, to bring your favorite bottle of alcohol... whether it be liquor, wine, champagne, maybe even a case of beer.... that the couple would save until the wedding day and use it then... so in a way that's kind of a less tacky BYOB (I hate using the word tacky, i think it's so rude, I'm sorry!!)

I thought that was kind of a cool idea.

Could you maybe pick up some things slowly along the way, some Liquor and mixes... something like that? You might have to pay for a bartender, but if you JUST do beer, your're good to go...idk....trying to help!

Magination - I meant they could just bring a bottle or something that they like, so it would be limited way more so than if there was a lot of alcohol available at a bar.

Glenn - since you asked so sweetly, we're not officially booked yet, that's just the place we're planning on having it. I didn't ask them about the bar because my FH and I didn't plan on serving alcohol - this issue is a recent one I thought of within the last few days. I'm sorry if my inexperience as a wedding planner bothers you. If it makes you feel any better, I have the details on everything else.

Katie - that's not a bad idea, I like it. Since most of our friends are college age, I don't think that it's outrageous to have them bring alcohol to an engagement party, which I can't see being very formal. Sounds like a good happy medium to me.

I own a special event bartending company in SC. We have a lot of brides that do cash bars, but I would never recommend a BYOB. Your risks of liabilty are just WAY too high since you have no control over what people drink. Believe or not, if someone gets into an accident on the way home, you can actually be held criminally liable. If your venue doesn't have an alcohol license, you can usually find a catering company that will come in and do a cash bar. It's also okay to have a non-alcoholic wedding, maybe just offer a champagne toast.

Just don't let them drink it that night!!! lol... just make sure they know that the alcohol they are bringing wont be consumed that night lol

Like I said, not trying to be an asshole, and you haven't booked it yet so you still have time to ask more questions. I'd highly recommend that you spend some time googling and looking for questions to ask your venue, and being prepared before you book. Sorry, I'm a planner and maybe I expect too much from people but it's a pretty basic question IYAM.

Liquid-catering - okay, that's really good to know, thank you!

Katie - haha, yeah, I think that would be the biggest challenge. I do like that idea though, hopefully it would be a good compromise for the guests who want to drink.