Alcoholics and a wedding

Also, it is a celebration, celebrations typically have alcohol unless you are under age

"Being rude just makes you look bad"

Yes, and it's extremely rude not to host your guests properly due to not being able to control adults. Someone needs to look in the mirror when she says the line above.

You asked how to handle alcoholics. Several of us answered you based on our experiences. Having a bartender, serving wine and beer (no liquor), do in a drink in hand toast (instead of a chpagle toast), etc are all strategies to deal with heavy drinking. If you're so convinced that there won't be alcohol, why do you need to know how to handle drunk people?

Ok. My father is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober 12 years (will be 13 3 weeks before my wedding. Guess what? He's paying for an open bar! Just because some one is an alcoholic (or labeled as one by you) does not give an excuse not to serve it at the wedding. Not only is it bad hosting, but you're creating this fake world for them where alcohol doesn't exist. That's not how to "handle" this situation. His friends drink in front of him at get-togethers but HE doesn't drink, even though he struggles with that everyday. If my recovering father can host an open bar at my wedding, you can sure serve alcohol at yours.

Sounds like a horrible wedding you'll be hosting. Good luck being "that couple" that your friend/family talk about who had the worst wedding they'd ever been to. WW gives you honest answers and idc if anyone's opinion changes your mind or not, it's the fact that you're clearly not hosting a party correctly which could make you come off as "selfish" and no one likes that.

How to handle drunks? Just ask your bartender. Ohhhhwait.

Don't have a dry wedding or a cash bar. If you don't like these people just don't invite them. Dry weddings are rude and tacky.

I'm kind of sad there's no white knight here yet though.

How can you even be sure these people will show up for a Monday wedding? Family or not it is still a monday

ETA can't read a calendar

I missed this was a Monday wedding, as well as being dry. Really might want to rethink this, OP. I am sure your family will attend because they have to but there is a high probability everyone else will decline or dip out immediately after dinner. A cake and punch reception, while much improved with beer and wine, would suit these priorities much better. Inexpensive, short, not as horrible a faux pas if it is dry, and can be really lovely.

Four pages of comments and no white knight, is this a record?

So... Wait... The "alcoholics" will already be drunk, but you're going to punish the other guests by not allowing them to drink... I'm confused.

The people who you don't want to be drinking, will already be drinking!! This makes no sense!

@JamieLeigh: None of her logic makes any sense.

Also in regards to "if you can't drink the wedding won't be fun" no most weddings are dry, it's the reception that won't be fun

Party atmosphere = music + alcohol

If you don't want a party vibe and are okay with a shorter reception, that is fine. Just know that that is what you are getting when you have a dry wedding.

Provide alcohol for your guests. Limit it to beer and wine so that people aren't sloppy like they are with liquor. If they are truly alcoholics they will get drunk regardless of whether you provide it or not

1. She's not a "princess" because she doesn't want to have alcohol. Her wedding, her choices. She not a "princess" because she wants to try and do damage control before it potentially happens... you don't know these people- SHE DOES.

2. IF she is NOT responsible for other people's choices and actions (your words, not mine), than she cannot be sued.

3. Why can we tell people how to behave at the wedding- i.e. no camera, unplugged, but when it comes to restricting alcohol to have a less stressful day on ourselves because we don't want to have to worry about what Uncle Arthur is doing, or KNOW that we helped contribute by having the alcohol if it goes south that's NOT ok??

4. Control- WE ALL CONTROL every aspect of our weddings... what we serve to eat, whether it's inside or outside, whether guests can use cameras or not during the ceremony, etc.. etc.. Literally EVERY aspect of our weddings is under our direct control and influence. So it is unfair to single her out for making a choice for HERSELF. In this day an age of Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice, I cannot believe that we are actually flipping shit because someone here (who's wedding we will NEVER attend) has made a CHOICE for herself... regardless of whether you agree with her choice or not, it IS hers, and hers alone, to make.

@Special: She absolutely CAN be sued for people drinking at her event when there is no licensed bartender and likely no liquor license. That's the PURPOSE of a bartender: to control liquor and ensure that guests don't drink too much. Even if the guests bring it onto the grounds, she is still liable for their actions because they are consuming it at her event.

She's a "princess" because she asked for advice, doesn't like the answers she got, threw a fit, and told everyone she doesn't care, she's going to do what she wants. Fine, do what you like, but it won't change the fact that it's a craptastic plan.

I'm not even going to dignify the other two parts with a response. Your arguments for them are absolutely asinine. Comparing choosing to be a poor host to abortion? Really? Comparing requests for the ceremony to making a decision that seriously impacts your guests' experience? Give me a break.

OP, Haley.... I will just leave what Emily Post has said about this very topic. And yes, she has warned about some of the very pitfalls the ladies here at WW were nice enough to point- and how to handle it. I hope you decide to stick around, and if not that your wedding truly is wonderful!!

"What to serve at your event is ultimately your decision, and it’s fine to forgo liquor *IT'S FINE TO FOREGO LIQUOR*. Some people make this choice due to their religious or cultural beliefs; others because of a complicated history with alcohol; others due to budget. Nevertheless, your guests’ comfort should be a primary concern. Given that both families are unhappy, you may want to rethink your decision and offer a champagne toast. Also, be aware that even though your reception is “dry,” some folks may seek out and find (or sneak in) alcoholic beverages. (It’s fairly easy to do in a hotel or restaurant.) If this happens, ignore your guests’ choice—don’t confront anyone or get upset."

http://emilypost.com/advice/non-alcoholic-reception/

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