Vow Renewals...
My DH and I are planning to renew our vows for our 15th anniversary. I've been trying to find out the do's & don'ts for vow renewal/convalidation ceremonies. This is a hot topic on several boards for some reason. I came to this website not because I want to be a "bride-to-be" (been there, done that, got the t-shirt), but because of the planning tools and checklists. Since vow renewals are still a new idea (i.e. unheard of 50 yrs ago), I would like your opinions and experiences. Why you think they are a good idea... or a bad one? What do you consider in good taste or in bad? From what I understand there are a few things that are only for the soon-to-be-not-yet-wed couple, and I completely agree; 1. DON'T register for gifts, 2. no veil, 3. no attendants, 4. no one "gives the bride away", 5. No showers, bachlorette parties, etc. Since Emily Post left this topic untouched and society (you) set the standard I need input. Regardless of your opinion, please be polite and respectful.

Married: 1+ year ago
Posted On: Aug 14, 2010 at 1:57 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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STB Mrs Van Blargan
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Aug 14, 2010 at 2:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I love the idea of a vow renewal. I dont think there is any do's and dont's. I agree with the list of dont's that you listed but besides that you should do whatever you want. I am not yet married but we already know that we want to have a vow renewal, 20 or so yrs into our marriage. Its going to be very small with maybe just use there, the pastor and we will be going to our dream honeymoon (maybe paris?) But besides that I dont think there is anything else I can say, hope this helped atleast alittle.

Married: 10/31/2012
Aug 14, 2010 at 2:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am doing a vow renewal and we are doing a big ceremony. We kinda eloped last time so this is our chance to have the wedding we didn't get to have. I am still doing a lot of the things that I would have done for a first time wedding but in my own personal style. There are no rules for these kind of things, do what make you happy.

Sabra B.

A Personal Touch By Sabra
Aug 14, 2010 at 2:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
What you have mentioned is correct. This event can be hosted by your Maid of Honor and the Best Man...and try to involve the children that you may have...get their input. My sister and I planned the 25th Anniversary Vow Renewal for our parents and we did it as a "surprise" to our Mother. But I agree with Angel M., it's really up to you on what you want to do. I'd be happy to discuss further at sabra@apersonaltouchbysabra.com and give you more details.

Married: 08/28/2010
Reviews: 3
Aug 14, 2010 at 2:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ditto to what Diane said. I'm going all out as well. Didn't have a big ceremony the first time but I'm making up for it this time. DH is sitting right next to me shouting that I sure am going all out, lol.

Married: 1+ year ago
Aug 14, 2010 at 3:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks for the responses! Diana and camlynn2 I hope you both have beautiful days and continued happiness in your marriages. I had the "big" wedding, as in very traditional. For us this isn't a do-over, it's a continuation. Angel you have the right idea with the honeymoon. We didn't have a honeymoon, we had an 8-mth-old baby that needed us more than we needed a vacation. This time - Italy here we come! I think vow renewals are a wonderful way to show a couples commitment to each other. My aunt and uncle renewed their vows for their 25th and I was honored to be invited. Watching a couple commit to each other just never gets old!

Married: 12/03/2011
Aug 14, 2010 at 4:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm renewaing my vows, and I'm turning it into the wedding I didn't have the money to have when I got married a little while back.

For someone in your shoes, I would suggest this article: http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/VowRenewal.htm
Aug 14, 2010 at 9:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Sabrina, I've officiated at many vow renewals and DH & I renewed our vows 2 years ago with a ceremony I put together that was very personalized. We had a good-sized wedding. It was before I became an officiant, so the ceremony was the usual traditional. Our renewal was much smaller, but more emotional.

It's wonderful to include your children, acknowledge the passing of the years, etc. If your original wedding party can stand up with you -- great. We only had a MOH & BM at our wedding and they also came for our renewal (all of us still in the same town).

Married: 07/03/2010
Reviews: 5
Aug 14, 2010 at 11:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
you might even think about doing it as a desination thing...but all in all do what you two want...there really is no right or wrong when it comes to personal lives and decisions...especially because you are doing it for the right reasons...LOVE!

Married: 10/23/2010
Aug 14, 2010 at 11:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Sabrina,I am doing a vow renewal 25 years...no we did not do the whole wedding thing the first time...we are having a ceremony in a church,my daddy will be walking me down the aisle,because it was something he didn't get to do the first time and we both want it..our attendants are our 3 children and grandson.I am wearing what is concidered a reception dress,long ivory beautiful gown,just not over the top..we are having a reception,no bouquet throwing no guarder toss,no money dance..we will have a first dance and yes i will have a father daughter dance- i love to dance with my dad..we will not register,no shower no bachlorette party,because i am not one.we are having a hall,dj,catered food..we are trying to create a 25th anniversary celebration with alittle bit of wedding thrown in.With all our family and very close friends,people who have been with us from the begining.....but the process has been just like planing a wedding.

Married: 05/23/2010
Reviews: 5
Aug 15, 2010 at 1:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Just because I love to plan and love to dress up, I've told my husband we will have a vow renewal every 5 years. And I'd love for it to be a destination renewal kinda like a honeymoon or vacation. It can be just us and later on our kids. Nothing huge or fancy.

Married: 1+ year ago
Aug 15, 2010 at 1:14 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Kristina - thanks for the link, very helpful and informative! Mrs. S - destination vow renewals are a beautiful idea and we briefly considered it, but we are participating in a convalidation ceremony in the church because we were married by a JOP at our wedding. Ursula - your plans sound wonderful and congratulations on 25 years!!! What I love is that vow renewals are very personal and really reflect the couple. Our children will be part of the ceremony as well as our original MOH and BM, but in an honorary role only. When we married, it was what my mother wanted, a lot of fluff. My sister is getting married next year and she is going through some of the same issues I did, only she's handling it better than I did;)

Married: 05/06/2011
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Some do's & don'ts
maybe you already find this article!

Married: 05/12/2012
Mar 13, 2011 at 8:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are doing a vowbrenewal for our25 th anniversary nextbyear. We had a very small wedding so this time arcade going to dobwhatbwe didntbgetbtondo the first time, I can't wait.
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