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How would you feel????

Okay, I have been engaged since March 2, 2009. My fiance' called my dad and asked for my hand in marriage(the whole nine yards). Here is the problem, my sister(dads daughter) sent me a text asking for my wedding date again so I gave it to her and replied saying that her and her boy friend were torn between 6/18/11 and 6/25/11 and if I can be apart of her bridal party. Okay this instantly pissed me off because I felt like she was trying to step on my toes by setting her date before mine and making sure her wedding is covered(financially) on my dads part. I do not expect him to pay for my entire wedding but at least help. I know he will be drained after he is done with her. Not to mention she is apart of my bridal party also, and will have the same guest (on dads side) that will have to travel for both. Do you think I should cut her from my bridal party? Do you think she will back out of my wedding at the last minute? Do you think my fam on dads side will come since mine is last?

Mrs.Davis n 2011

Married: 07/16/2011
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 8:51 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

8 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

christy love

Married: 03/27/2010

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 8:59 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
That sucks! I don't know if I would cut her from the wedding party just yet, unless you have true evidence that she is really trying to steal the spotlight. What I would do if I were in your situation, is sit down with dad and ask him about what his role will be financially in you and your sisters wedding. You may be surprised that has already thought about it and knows what he plans to do. As far as family and friends out of town, if they really love you they will be there regardless of how close the dates are together. Don't get me wrong, you are more than right for being pissed, but your sister is going to do what she wants to do so make the best of your day without letting people get to you.

Traci&Bob

Married: 02/26/2010

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 8:59 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Have you let her know how you feel about this? Are you close? I assume you are because she is in your wedding, I would say to invite her to lunch and discuss it, let her know your feelings, like a real lady, no yelling or hurtful words, hopefully some resolution can come of it :) Good luck hon!

Mrs.Davis n 2011

Married: 07/16/2011
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 9:22 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you ladies for the GREAT advice...Traci I would have to call her because we are in different states.... I did talk to my dad about it and he said that he would not do that, but he has done things like that in the past (doing things for them and leaving me out) but I kind of let that go because I take care of myself...I just don't want him to let me down for my wedding....Maybe I should have him to contribute a set amount (maybe for reception food, my dress etc.). and since it is in 2011 he can just give a little bit each month until that amount is paid

jessica s.

Married: 05/24/2008

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 10:51 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
i was in the same type of situation with my hubby's sister as soon as we got engaged she was we had our date and guess what her date was before ours i still had her in my wedding thou b/c its his only sister but she didn't put her only brother in her wedding b/c she was jealous she got married out of jealously now her and hubby are separted. could it be that she jealous. just don't kick her out that would be wrong and as for your dad i think your idea of a set amount it a good idea do that

Soon2BMrsP

Married: 03/20/2010
Reviews: 1

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 11:00 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
everyone gave you great advice! i can't offer much...fh's bff's fiance, did the same thing...the money we spent for her wedding, would have paid ours off! so i feel what you're going through, somewhat...ok, i have to leave the board for a quick moment...b/c the amount we gave them(gift, atire, and ALOT fo other stuff), just hit me, and now i'm really angry, so i'll brb! (i'm not a bad person, i swear...there's other things behind the scenes here in "real world" lol)

yadayada

Married: 10/30/2009
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Oct 16, 2009 at 11:08 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I think you should def. talk to her and see if you can work things out. I don't see why you should kick her out of your wedding party unless there has been a huge rift in your relationship or something. My good friend was engaged for a while and then her fiance's 2 brothers got engaged and one set his date 2 months before hers and the other set it for 2 months after hers. Despite having to travel, their family went to all 3 of the weddings.

Mrs.Davis n 2011

Married: 07/16/2011
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Oct 17, 2009 at 11:19 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you for the great advice.....The only reason why I would replace her is because I know It is going to be very expensive for her wedding and then to turn around and have to get her items for my wedding and travel(hotel, transportation etc.) I am just afraid she will back out of mine at the last minute. We plan on getting our stationary(invite, programs etc.) early and I don't want to put her in the program and website if she is going to back out. She is saying that she can still do it but I don't think that the reality (cost) has set in yet

southerngirl

Married: 12/28/2009
Reviews: 9

Posted On: Oct 17, 2009 at 1:19 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
If she backs out at the last minute then that's on her. Wedding parties have uneven numbers nowadays and it shouldn't have a big impact on you if you aren't buying the dresses or get gifts or pay for flowers too far in advance. Just be prepared for her to step down so you aren't surprised. Otherwise you both can enjoy the planning process together.

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