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I would tell them that you'd hope they could set aside tehir difference for one day, as you want them both there. And Ask them nicely if they would each be civil to each other for one day, YOUR day..And hope they will..If they don't, then I would tell them exactly how this is making oyu feel and how upset you are that your own family can't even keep it under control for one day so you can enjoy the one day you get married and have a loving and supportive family.

You being put in the middle of this is unacceptable behavior. You need to tell them both that you love them and want them both there for you wedding and your wedding is about you and your FH and should have absolutely no bearing on whether or not they get along. They really put you in an awkward position that they shouldn't have.

do you really think your dad would miss the wedding?? what if you tell him shes uninvited would he leave if he saw her there?

Sadly yes he told me if she is there he would leave i just got off the phone with him. Obviously i need to tell her she cant come so my dad will be there her and I arnt close but that means my 5 cousins wont come which i am close with them and she wont allow my grandparents to come. The problem is she wont be civil towards my dad. I am just so mad and disapointed in all of them.

what a horrible position to be put it. I really feel for you. Is there anyway things might calm down some with a little time? Maybe wait a few days or a week or something and then try to talk to your dad and your aunt separately. Tell them you have nothing to do with their dispute and you should not be the one to suffer because of it. You can always try do seating so they do not have to be near one another. I really wish you the best!

Point out to both of them that you have enough to deal with. It's not your job to be mediator and they need to get over it. My mom's side of the family and my dad's side all hate one another. But by God, they will be there if I ask them to. And they'll fake smiles and pretend to like each other. Remind him that he is the parent and you are the daughter. You should NOT have the be the mature one here. It's a sad day when the child plays the parental role. I've been there. On more than one occasion I've had to be the one to tell my mom to grow up a little bit.

thank you carmen yea its been hard i told them both they dont care. And yes morgan I a planning on waiting to say anything else about the matter till after the new year. I will be more rational and hopefully so will they but I doubt it on there part. thank you ladies your always here i appreciate it so much

to top it off i am trying to eat healthy and now I am upset all i want to do is eat

that is the most ridiculous thing. i would probably uninvite dad and his sister too. that is so unfair for dad to put you in the middle like that. and his sister has no right to hold your grandparents hostage. so what if she handles their finances. she's not the only person who has a car and can transport them to your wedding. i hate when adults behave like junior high schoolers. whatever issues they have going on are totally unrelated to your wedding. and so close to your wedding date this is the last thing you need. i'm sure you have plenty of other things to stress over. try to find some other things to do (besides eat) to relieve your stress. i eat when i'm stressed too but i refuse to look like the michelin tire man in my gown so i've been trying really hard to find other ways to relieve my stress. good luck to you sweetie. i hope you can come to some type of resolution soon.

thank you ladylee that made me laugh so hard!!! I needed that

Find a punching bag... a better way to relieve stress than eating because it makes you loose :) I'm sorry about your family. The only thing i can suggest that hasn't already been mentioned is maybe plead your case with your grandparents, maybe they can talk some sense into their kids! I hope everything works out the way you want!, but if not the main thing is you will be starting a new family with your hubby and it is the most amazing feeling!

It really sucks the way people cant just get along for one day for a loved one's wedding. I find that to be so selfish. "I'm nog going if so and so is going", jeez like you don't have enough to stress about. Hopefully they can work it all out.

i hope so it is really the only thing i am stressing over, so if they would all grow I could be stress free for now!

How will they know if the other person is or is not invited unless you tell them. Just invite them both and let them deal with it.

southerngirl i am afraid they will make a scene and ruin my day