Even if you’re not actively trying to get pregnant, timing play an important role when it comes to having sex. Sure, the time of the month might not be so important if you’re not trying to conceive, but there are still certain times of the day and circumstances that can impact your ability to have fulfilling or connective sex. “Simply becoming aware of the time of day where you feel most energetic and clear can be helpful in determining the best time to have sex,” says Celeste Holbrook, PhD, sexual health consultant.
Here’s when relationship experts say are the best times to have sex with your significant other.
First thing in the morning
If you’re not a morning person, the prospects of this happening are probably low, but experts agree that right when you wake up is one of the best times to have sex. “Men's testosterone levels are higher in the morning,” says Dawn Michael, PhD, clinical sexologist, relationship expert and author of My Husband Wont Have Sex With Me. “You’re already wearing less clothing than any other time of day and it’s a great way to stay connected before you begin you leave for work, taking the kids to school, etc.”
Before lunch or dinner
What’s on the menu for your next meal might not seem like it bears much weight on whether or not you should have sex, but you are more likely to feel “up to it,” per say, before your belly’s full of food than after (although the exception may be when you’re hangry). Dr. Michael recommends waiting a couple of hours at least to let your food settle so you can enjoy the sensations and positions to the max.
When you’re on vacay
Of course, you’re not going to wait until your spring or summer break to get intimate with your partner—and you shouldn't—but during a vacation is certainly one of the best times to have sex. “We know that responsibilities are the biggest killer of arousal, so anytime you can be away from the environment where most of your responsibilities live, sex will usually be more connective,” says Dr. Holbrook. “You will focus on your partner and the sensations of being together rather than the pile of laundry in the corner of the room.”
After a workout
When you’re sweaty and, well, dirty, after exercising, sex might be the last thing on your wish list, but there are some serious benefits to doing the deed post-workout. In fact, one study by the University of Texas at Austin, analyzed women on antidepressants, which are known to inhibit sexual arousal, and found that exercise significantly improved their desire for sex. Additionally, during exercise, your body releases feel-good endorphins, which may put you in a better mood and increase your energy levels for sex. “You will already be on a feel-good high so it could be easier to get in the mood,” adds Dr. Michael.
Whenever you schedule it
“Scheduling in” sex isn’t the sexiest thing, but relationship and sex experts agree that it’s an important factor that plays a role in a healthy and happy marriage. “When you plan to have sex, it gives you time to drum up some exciting things to do during foreplay, as well as creates the atmosphere for sex to happen in the first place—think candles, soft music, lighting, warmth, a warm bath,” says Dr. Holbrook. Dr. Michael agrees, suggesting that her clients foster spicy anticipation all through the week with flirty texts and reminders to reduce the anxiety around who is going to initiate.
Right before bed
Sounds simple enough, but so many couples don’t go to bed at the same time—or, perhaps, one partner falls asleep on the couch, or even stays there all night. The act of going to bed together is important when it comes to a happy marriage. Additionally, Dr. Holbrook points out that the act of undressing for bed gives an opportunity to initiate sex. “Take advantage of undressing each other—slip your partner’s clothing and undergarments off for them and enjoy touching each other taking advantage of a perfect opportunity to be intimate,” she says.