sunset engagement shoot at UNC Chapel Hill

Photo: Amy Allen Photography

Your engagement announcement will likely be followed by dozens of congratulations and twice as many questions about everything from the ceremony location to the cake flavor.

We've layed out how to answer the all-too-common post-engagement questions that come your way.


How did he/she propose?
At this point you’ve probably told the story so many times it sounds like an audio recording instead of an incredible thing that happened to you. When the story starts to get tired, try to think of a new way to tell it or add a new detail that you’ve completely forgotten about. Changing things up will help hold your interest while telling it.

Were you surprised?
There’s no need to craft any kind of special response here, but it’s typically something people want to know so be prepared to re-enact your surprise face (or your I-knew-the-whole-time face).

Do you know where and when you want to get married?
Unless you’ve had a dream location in mind since you were little or you and your S.O. have talked about it in detail, the answer to this question is probably, “I have no idea,” and that’s totally fine. It takes more than a couple of days to find a venue and set a date so don’t feel pressured when people are dying to hear about the setting. A polite, “We haven’t gotten there yet” will suffice.

Aren’t you SO excited to start planning?
Remember—people are simply eager to hear how the process has been so far, they’re not trying to overwhelm you or force you to jump start planning before you feel ready. Something simple like, “Yes, we are” is all people are looking to hear. Don’t let it stress you out!

What are you going to wear?
While you may have an idea of what you want to wear, you probably don't have the ensemble picked out yet. It's possible that they're asking because they may want to come along when you shop. We recommend a pre-emptive response for this one, such as, "I'm planning on going with my mother / father / best man after we get our budget sorted out." Hopefully this will clue people in that it's a family or friend bonding trip.

Who is going to be in your wedding party?
This question can be tricky, especially if they’re vying for an invite to be in it. Explain that you have quite a few big details to work out before you can select your entourage, and that it’s something you’ll get to a little later on.

Do you think your parents will pay for most of the wedding?
It’s always a bit uncomfortable when anything budget-related is brought up, so we recommend being as vague as possible. A response such as, “They’ll contribute with an amount they feel comfortable with” doesn’t give a direct answer but will hopefully end the conversation.

Am I invited?
Something this direct can create a bit of an awkward situation, especially if you’re not even sure of the answer. We recommend not answering yes or no flat-out (unless you know 100% they’ll definitely be invited). Referencing your budget is another great way to end any more inquiries on the topic, such as, “Once we nail down our venue and budget we’ll be able to put our guest list together.”

Do I get a plus-one?
If the answer to this question is no, venue and budget constraints are usually the best excuse to use. This shifts any kind of blame off of you. Try something like, “We wish our venue was big enough to accommodate more guests, but unfortunately they have a strict capacity limit.”

How much are you paying for [X]?
If people are inquiring about the cost of a specific vendor and you don’t want to disclose that info, you can politely tell them that you’re keeping the specifics between you two and your parents. If you feel comfortable enough, you can give them a percentage versus of revealing a price point, such as, “We’re trying not to spend more than 40% of our budget on catering.”

Where are you going on your honeymoon?
Chances are you probably have no clue, especially if you haven’t set a date or booked a venue. This question shouldn’t be too difficult to answer, but it’s something people usually want to know about. If you’ve briefly discussed a couple ideas, feel free to share them.

When are you going to have a baby?
We agree, being pried about your future family right after you get engaged is a bit premature. A response such as, “Let’s worry about the wedding first” will hopefully get inquiring minds off your back, at least for a little while.