Why don't you want kids at your wedding?

I am having kids at my wedding. We will have a dance floor but I think there is nothing cuter than watching kids dance with the adults. There's always that little girl who dances on the feet of her dad or whoever. I mean, you can't say no!

We will have drinks but I think the adults who are invited will be responsible so it won't be anything kids can not see.

I also think it would be very difficult for family members who are traveling that have children if they are not invited. All is better than none for me.

It's mostly the children of family members though, not many friends will be bringing their little ones.

At my first wedding, we had kids. At my second, it wasn't an issue, because none of our guests had kids.

Pros of kids:

1. Especially if it's an OOT wedding, allowing kids makes it a lot easier on the parents.

2. If the wedding is primarily a family get-together, the kids are part of the family; why would you not want to see them?

Cons of kids:

1. If you would go totally bananas if a kid cried or talked at an inopportune moment, don't invite kids. (Of course, alcoholic Uncle Henry may make noise at an inopportune moment, too, and he seems to get invited everywhere.)

2. If you have to cut your guest list, you may prefer to cut those with whom you're least likely to have an intelligent conversation.

One "con" I have never understood is the idea that kids shouldn't be at evening parties, or at parties where people are drinking. It seems to me that is up to their parents. Babies will often sleep through even a noisy reception. Toddlers and older kids may have fun dancing and/or seeing all the other kids, and just take an extra nap the next day. And even if adults are drunk, a big family get-together is not an inherently hazardous place for kids. Someone is always sober, and looking out for the kids. (And I say this as one with a family full of alcoholics.)

We have people that will probably decline because they can't bring their kids (because it's apparently hard to get a sitter...)

I am firm on no children because

1. The last thing I want during my ceremony is a noisy child or crying baby. Ugh the thought makes me cringe

2. It seems completely pointless to me to pay for a child to be there when they couldn't give a rip about who is getting married

3. Our wedding is not kid friendly. It will be boring for kids and filled with booze. Not really an atmosphere for children

We are not having kids at our wedding. My FH and I both think a formal wedding and reception is not a place to have kids. The parents are either trying to corral their kids all evening, or letting them run wild. I would much rather deal with "Uncle Joe" having a bit too much to drink and getting loud than a bunch of kids screaming and running all over the place.

If we had kids we would have a minimum if 8 in a party of thirty... That's a lot if fricking kids. And we don't like kids. Period.

The reason I didn't want kids there was because of the specific kids who would be coming. I'd seen them at weddings before and while they are super sweet kids they have never been taught how to act in more adult situations. They have screamed across the room at one, danced/cartwheeled on the dance floor so that no one else could dance at another, etc etc. With my wedding being small and in a small venue I didn't want to deal with it. I could just picture my cake on its small pedestal table going flying. Nope, no thanks.

Would love to have all my nieces and nephews & goddaughter there but also glad they won't be. Only my sister's two kids will be there, they're the oldest, and her daughter is the FG.

We are not having kids at our wedding or reception. Our wedding is at a church and we don't really want to deal with crying children or "I have to potty" during the ceremony. Our reception is at a rooftop pool area and I don't want children falling or jumping into the pool. I also don't want them running around and possibly knocking over things. I went to a wedding where kids were allowed. The whole time kids were being told to sit down, stop running, don't touch that, or crying in the middle of the ceremony. Kids will be kids. It is in their nature to be energetic and run around so we respectfully asked that children not attend this event. Most of my friends have already made necessary arrangements for this.

Weddings are so expensive and I really don't feel like paying for kids. Also even though FH and I have 3 between us (2 are his 1 is mine) they will be there only for the ceremony and then we will have a sitter take them home for the night. Weddings to me are adult affairs and I don't want our kids around a party were there will be drinking and dancing. But to each their own.

I think the issue is kids will be running around screaming like rabid animals -depending on the parents. Some kids are well behaved, others not so much and their parents do not care. So I think most people want to avoid the latter.

What kind of weddings are you guys havnigt that arent suitable for a child?

Do you have fire jugglers? Beer pong tournaments? Bungee jumping over an emptied out pool?

Kids who are raised well can attend the NY Philharmonic and not be assholes, so.

Do whatever you want, but don't make shitty excuses about it. Stand behind your decision.

We invited a total of 7 kids with only 4 actually being able to come and be a part of our day. There was only one person who was upset that kids weren't invited, we tried explaining the reasons, the cost, the drinking, etc. (Her kids are tweens and teens and have been caught drinking before, not something I wanted to deal with on my wedding day) But she made it about her. In the end she did something petty and rsvp'd and didn't show.

The biggest reason was cost, adding all the kids would've added close to 50 additional seats, next was that we were hosting beer and wine, and with alcohol there are many factors that worried us. We looked at it as a wonderful night for everyone to enjoy themselves worry free with shuttles from the venue to the hotel.

It is understandable to not want to but if it is important for your cousins to be there and that is the only way they'll be able to make it. I'm sure there are things that will make the kids being there wonderful.

We didn't have kids because 1. I don't particularly think that having children at an event where people are drinking is a great idea. 2. We got married on the beach and had the reception at a beach house. There were steep stairs on the back and front of the house and a street between the house and beach. If kids weren't closely supervised it could end badly. 3. Only a few of our friends have children and they need a night away too!

None of them complained and everyone came anyway and some said that they appreciated a night out adulting.

It just depends on the kids in your circle and the formality level of your wedding. A very formal wedding could be boring for most kids, sure. I, personally, am not having a very formal wedding. When I was a kid, I had fun seeing my cousins at wedding receptions. Kids in my family are used to being around adults while they're drinking, and most are well behaved. I just didn't want to exclude my young cousins or their parents (some are the type that wouldn't travel without the kids). So kids are invited to our wedding. We have about 30 under 18. Anyone under 12 can choose a kids meal, baked mac and cheese for $10. No need for a ring bearer or flower girl, in my opinion. I could see going another direction at a venue that was less kid friendly or if the kids in my family could not be well behaved (but I wouldn't tell the parents that reason LOL).

We aren't inviting kids because quite honestly we don't want them there. It's an adult party with drinking and dancing. The only 3 kids that will be there are the flower girl (2), a jr bridesmaid (10) and a jr groomsman (12) and they are FSIL kids and will be there for the ceremony and dinner then immediately getting picked up. We are having a huge wedding, if people choose not to come because their kids aren't invited, that's ok by us. None of our closest family/friends have a problem not bringing their kids, so as long as they are there, that is most important!

@Richard K.

My FH and I have had this discussion and agreed on no kids at the wedding. The only kids that will be there are my 2 nephews who are in the wedding party but will not stay too long at the reception. The majority of our friends have kids along with each of our families and if we invite 1, we will need to invite all of them. We just feel that weddings aren't the place for children.

So the main reason I don't want kids was really the buzzkill of it all. For example, my best friend's wedding two years ago had kids from 6 months to 12 years old.

Some of the toddlers got on the dance floor and proceeded to take off their clothes (parents didn't care) and then their diapers. One pooped and the other peed right in the middle of the floor. Everyone saw this and pretty much left immediately. Having my guests leave because friends or family weren't paying attention or thinking their child is an exception is not how I want my wedding to be.

Most of our guests don't have children anyway, but my cousin has an obnoxious son and step-son. After watching how they behaved at her wedding, I did not want them at mine. The only children that will be included are my two 4 yr old nephews (RB) and FH's children. I am ok with the few people who have children declining if they can't attend without their kids.

Because there is always that one asshole couple who can't / refuse to control their kids and let's them run rampant.

But yes we are having kiddos at ours.