Who gets a plus one?

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Sounds like you've got a great system, Amy and very similar to ours which is working out well! (Knock on wood of course The rule we also came up with for family (on both sides) was that if they are single, they don't get a plus one since they'll know so many other people there, and we can seat them with other family members they know. Again the only exception to this is family members who are in our wedding party (for example, my sister is my Maid of Honor and she really wants a plus one, so she's getting one as she is being a fabulous MOH so far!)

Hope this helps and good luck!! (And also congrats!!)

We are having a very small wedding. The way that we decided to deal with that is we spoke to our unmarried friends and gave them the option. They all know we're funding the wedding ourselves so they took the question seriously. Several said that they'd come alone, and others said they'd like to bring their SO and we were ok with that. I don't think that it's judging someone else's relationship to be cost conscious and I know that people having larger weddings can't always give this option to their friends. There are people that I wanted at my wedding that didn't get invited because I can't handle their spouse or SO because of the way they treat me, so it may come down to hard decisions. I think that you should go by feel and as long as you're honest about where you're coming from then people should be understanding. I don't think that not getting invited is always a personal slight, sometimes money is the deciding factor and people shouldn't be mean about that, unless they're contributing to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Your wedding IS about you. The minute you invite anyone else to share in it, it becomes about your guests also. That means being inclusive of all SOs.

View Quoted Comment If you want to only worry about your comfort, elope.

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I'm with you, girl. These forums can be aggressive as all get out! Don't let them get you down... I was shocked by the response I got to a question.

For the record, every wedding I've been to/know of, including my own, follows the situational rule. It depends if the significant other is close to us, all in all.

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What we are doing is put numbers on RSVP when we send them out. It will say something like we have 2 seats for you, or we have 1 seat for you, etc..

Do what is best for YOU and YOUR budget. Don’t let people on here guilt you into doing anything, because they will try to. They are not paying for your wedding. It is your day and your money. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment I know right! I really had no idea that all of this was going to happen when I asked the question😂 at first my feelings were kinda hurt (I’m as sensitive as they come lol) but in the end, I’ve just started ignoring any response that comes off as rude or argumentive. We ended up doing the same! Went through the guest list and just decided person to person if we were going to invite their SO or not, things are bound to change in the year and a half before our wedding, but I’m happy with what we have! Good luck with the rest of your planning!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much for your kind words😊 good luck to you too!!

View Quoted Comment No problem!!

A customer at my job today overheard me talking about how I hate that I have to give some people plus ones because I don't know their significant other, and she so seriously said to me, "If they haven't been dating for a year at that point, they don't get the invite." I think that might be a good rule of thumb. I have a hard time digesting that I have to pay $80 for someones significant other that I either 1) don't know, or 2) dislike. Sucks.

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Love

I only extended +1s to those who have been in a relationship for 6 months or more regardless of status ( anyone dating someone for 1 month isn’t considered a “significant relationship” in my book). If I was inviting a single person who wouldn’t know anyone at my wedding, I would have also extended the +1 to them so they wouldn’t feel awkward not having anyone familiar to talk to.

I'm not doing any Plus one's. The invitation will be specific to each person. Each person will get an invitation. If you don't have an invitation.........

My fiance is paying for the catering.

However, he started talking like he wanted to ask extra people after we did our preliminary headcount because he's paying for the food. I told him it was more than just the cost for the food. I said "okay, well here's what you do. You pay for their napkin, napkin ring, charger plate, dinner plates, flatware, chair, wedding favor, drink & wine glass and add an extra bottle of wine to the table".

He backed down and say 'Oh, I see what you are saying'. I was like yeah I thought you would!

...............

We assumed everyone would bring a plus one when we started our guest list planning. However, we aren't having any children over the age of 12 at the reception. We booked a bed and breakfast next door to the venue for babysitting and plan on having pizza and cartoons there for the young children. It is just the venue only holds 200 people and my family is Catholic. There are just as many young children as adults that we have to account for. I don't know how this is going to play out because we haven't sent out the invites yet.

My mom and I were discussing this.

For mine, to cut down on guest count, I am only inviting a plus one for people with significant others (at the time of the invitation addressing). My mom said that you have to address the invitation by name (if you know it...but you should know it).

I'm not going to be a bridezilla about it. If people know proper etiquette, they will know that if their invite does not say "and guest," they are not to bring a guest. If they do RSVP with 2, I'm not going to call them and tell them they can't.

If you want everyone to have a plus one, you put "and guest" on the inside envelope if you have one. Otherwise, put it on the outside envelope.

If you're allowing children, you put "and family." I'm limiting "and family" to our families and close friends. My mom and I are on the same page as far as kids at weddings (cute). We're planning on printing out coloring books (we both have access to printers at work so we can print these for free) and buying small packs of crayons (during back-to-school time when they're 13 cents a box).

If my friends are single, they do not get a plus one. If someone has a significant other they get a plus one. It is YOUR day. And being rude to your guests is not what you should worried about. It is YOUR day. You do what you want. The people invited to your party you should know well. So if for some reason someone is madly in love with someone and moved in with someone for 5 months, you should invited them. It is YOUR day. YOU do as YOU want. Sometimes you have to put your foot down with those involved/helping with your wedding. A wedding is about starting your new life and journey. Who do you see in your new life/journey. That is whom should be invited to your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Well said babe!!!!

View Quoted Comment Yessssss! I totally agree just because I don’t want it to turn into a circus of anyone just showing up and people I don’t know! Like you said, may sound cut throat buts it’s YOUR day!