Who gets a plus one?

Anyone who identified as in a relationship was invited with their so. It wasn't my husband or my job to figure out if they were serious or not. I was invited to a wedding without my husband (when he was still my boyfriend) It was the easiest decline ever. Most people don't want to go to a wedding without their so and will just decline.

What we did was looked at all the people we were inviting. Married couples addressed to mr and mrs blank.. Then others as mr or miss blank. We didnt do plus ones because of space. The way we addressed that was on the rsvp card it was prefilled out. . by saying blank number of seats were reserved in your honor

I told my guests straight up what I wanted and they were okay with it since they know it's about me and my FH

Holy cow, so much terrible, terrible advice in this thread.
OP, no one's responses have been rude or angry, just honest. Etiquette is very clear on this one: everyone's SO gets invited, by name. This includes bf/gf, in addition to married or engaged couples. My H and I were "just" boyfriend/girlfriend for about 8 years before we got engaged, and together longer than most married couples we knew. Plus ones are for guests who are actually single, and they are optional.

If someone decides not to come to our wedding because we didn't give them a plus one, Oh well another $150 (no $300 because we didn't give them a +1) in our pocket. They will not be missed. WE will enjoy OUR day.

View Quoted Comment Wow. That's how you feel about your loved ones? This makes me so sad.

I gotta agree with the OP on this one: just use your judgement when sketching out a guest list - those who don't know many people could possibly have a plus one if you think that would make their experience a little better, and those with a SO are invited with said SO, haha. And sometimes, you've just gotta put a couple blank spaces when writing out a guest list, because ya never know! I've been on both sides of this weird argument, and can definitely say that the best and happiest medium is planning this way.

Enjoy these early stages of planning girlie, and try not to overthink it! Choose a venue that expresses you and your future spouse while being budget friendly, and begin creating a guest list of people you couldn't imagine the day without. Take it one step at a time, because fall 2019 will come faster than you'd think (:

(By the way, I know how critical some people on here are, and that sometimes it's a bit offensive, so I'm really glad to see that you defended your ideas! Online text can be interpreted in so many different ways, and it can get a lil messy.)

You're gonna get mixed views about it as you can tell. Proper etiquette is married/engaged/significant other should be invited. nonone can MAKE you invite SOs so you do what you feel. It's your wedding.

View Quoted Comment That's how I feel.

View Quoted Comment Not one of the people I invited would not show up because I didnt give them a plus one. I don't have self-centered family and friends. But if i did have such friends, I would feel that way about them.

View Quoted Comment I guess everyone has there own definition for "rude".

View Quoted Comment *Their definition of rude should always be the same - that's what etiquette is.

I agree with Lynnijah. I invited fiances only. I could understand long term relationships too but I simply don't have the money for that. I want "Jane" at my wedding because we go way back, if the fact that I can't afford to have her boyfriend there keeps her from coming, so be it.

View Quoted Comment

This is my point exactly. I'm even putting myself in their shoes. If I was invited to my friends wedding and brought my FH who doesn't know anyone there, yes he can socialize but it would be awkward not knowing anyone there. I don't have the money to pay for everyone's date especially if I have never met them.

You invite who you choose and it isn’t rude because guess what? It’s YOUR wedding. I’m inviting the SO of those who are married, engaged or in a serious relationship. I am not going to have strangers in my wedding videos, photographs that won’t be there 6 months from now. If someone doesn’t like my decision they don’t have to come. I will NOT forego inviting someone I am close with because Joe Shmoe who just started dating someone wants to bring their flavor of the month. This is not a backyard bbq it’s a personal and intimate event in your life. Do what YOU want and will make YOU happy. Good luck sweetheart.

View Quoted Comment 🙌🏼 Exactly

View Quoted Comment Exactly 🙌🏼

View Quoted Comment Well said.

I didn’t get invited to my FH cousins wedding even though we’d been together for over a year. I was bummed but understanding that it was her wedding. I was however, very offended to find out that she let others bring their SO. And my FH to this day tries to tell me that she shouldn’t get an invite to ours though, I don’t want to be that petty. On the other hand, I went to a wedding in September where everyone “in a relationship” got a Plus One and it was an open bar. There was a girl (someone’s plus one) who was taking shot after shot after shot, she threw up a few times, and she smashed many of the winery’s glasses. The bride was walking around with no shoes at this point so she ended up stepping in the glass. Plus their bill for all those glasses and all that girls liquor was insane. That broke up before Christmas and the Bride says her one regret was that she let everyone “in a relationship” bring a plus one. I guess what I’m saying is, it goes both ways. Really it’s up to you. Don’t let anyone try to make you feel like you have to invite people who you may not even know. But at the same time, know you may hurt some feelings in the process. At the end of the day it’s about you and your FH celebrating. It’s your party, you invite who you want to. Hope that helps! So many people comment just to be mean, just ignore them.

View Quoted Comment I really don't understand how people can just bring others not invited. I have attended a few weddings alone because the invite didn't say to bring a plus 1. If I'm friends with the couple then most likely I'm friends with others there too.