Who gets a plus one?

I'm personally giving everyone a plus one. I think it can be uncomfortable for people to come alone when they may not know anyone, especially since they have to make a big vacation out of my wedding. My friend had a wedding 2 years ago and she had said she was only giving plus one's if they were married or living together, which i thought was ridiculous. I had to awkwardly ask her if my boyfriend of a year (current FH) could come and had to justify to her that we were serious and that "oh well we'll be together for 2 years at that point." I had to make a vacation out of it, and would have been pretty upset if she wouldn't have allowed him, simply because we didn't live together. Ironically at the wedding she had a place card made for him, but forgot one for me.

I completely understand wanting to keep lists low, and in some cases where it might be a local wedding, or a wedding where everyone is in the same friend group, then that's fine. But I personally did not want to judge other people's decisions.

Not necessarily. I went to one of my best friend's weddings a couple years ago and only knew the bride and groom. No one else that was a mutual friend came, and i was single at the time and didn't bring a date. I'm also pretty shy and ended up spending a lot of the night on my phone until dancing started. This is of course not her fault at all.

Anyone in a serious committed relationship should be able to invite their significant others. A new relationship with someone you don't know I don't think you need to invite them unless you have room at the end.

We're giving everyone a plus one. I understand that it is a cost-saving method when having a wedding to limit the plus one's, however, I don't want to do that to our guests.

For us we are also addressing the invites to the individuals invited and not just mr and guest etc. I totally understand how you feel. If any of our guests are in relationships when it comes time to send out invites they will get a Mr and Miss. Otherwise if they are not in a relationship it will just be addressed to them. Not them and Guest. I think what you are doing sounds perfectly fine. This way we wont get randoms.

Best logic on this thread

I got lucky because most of our friends are couples and we are friends with both people, so it was a no brainer. For the few that I know are single now, I am counting on them having a SO by the time our wedding rolls around, just in case. I also know that if a couple of our friends are still single at the time, they will probably choose not to bring a +1 anyway, but that obviously doesn't go for everyone.

I did go to a friend's wedding where they did not include +1's for many of their guests, including one of the groom's very good friends who had been with her BF for 2 years but he wasn't invited. She was very offended, and we all thought that was really rude to exclude him. They actually sent her and her roommate 1 invitation for the 2 of them, and did not include either of their BFs. Another guest assumed he got to bring his GF and RSVP'd for 2, and then they told him that she wasn't invited, and he almost didn't attend. So it can obviously be a very touchy subject.

How can you ask someone to celebrate your love while you are saying theirs doesn't count in some mysterious way? Together for a year? DH and I were married six months after we met. Two people are together if they say they are together. Not inviting someone's partner is disrespectful, rude, and a quick way to lose a friend.

While proper etiquette states that you need to invite all guests with their SO I think it's a tad ludicrous to really be expected to invite that many people. When you have a budget to stick to and venue constraints to stick to you might not be able to invite all of your family and friends with their SOs or random plus ones. FH and I were not planning on inviting two of his aunts - they do not even know his name, have not talked to/seen him for YEARS. Now that we are engaged and they are expecting to get a free meal/good time out of us they are magically starting to invite us to family functions with them. *eye roll* They started talking to FH's dad about how excited they were for our wedding, so now we are inviting them out of feeling obligated to, but we are not inviting their SOs because I find it dumb to spend money on having them there when we don't even want their wives there and this will probably be one of the last times we end up seeing them. (Never mind the fact that one of these SOs showed up to his own father's funeral in a hot dog shirt, drunk. Like I need to deal with that on my wedding day.) We explained to both of them that due to budget/venue constraints they can't have a plus one and they both said they understand and will still be there. There are also other people that are single who are not being invited with a plus one option since we know there are other people there who they know/will have a good time with.

I think it really depends on your guests and your relationships with them. You should not feel obligated to invite everyone with a plus one. At the end of the day it is your wedding, you need to do what is best for your day.

We gave everyone over the age of 18 a plus one. We were fortunate that very few people took "advantage" of it. Most people not in a relationship declined the plus one invite, but i DID have two guests who said "not sure who i'm gonna bring but lets just assume they'll want steak"........

let's just say I love them to death and we will say nothing, but it bugged me a little that they expected me to pay for the meal, drinks, and entertainment for someone i've never met, nor were they seriously involved with, but in the entire scheme of things... their meal and potential drinks will cost a very small percentage of the evening in order to make all of my other guests feel welcome and provided for. For us, it made sense even if we may roll our eyes at our beloved friends a tad for bringing randos to our wedding. (their rsvps coming in 3 weeks before the big day - still with no names lol)

100% Agree!!! I personally am inviting those who live together and more serious. Although everyone in our bridal party get a plus one accept for 3 of our very very single guys. Good for those who can afford to invite plus ones for everyone, but I'm on a budget. I cannot be inviting everyone and their flavor of the week.

Everyone gets a plus one. I don't care if my FH's friend who is very single brings his "flavor of the week" - as long as she is dressed and sober, I am cool. I want him to be comfortable and have a date, someone to talk with and sit with.

I did not give plus one's to my single friends unless they didn't know anybody at the wedding (some of my co-workers). If they're not in a serious relationship I would not give a plus 1!

Don't worry, these people are being obnoxious. Long-term/serious relationships are fine if you have the space, married and engaged are usually included. However, for my co-workers, I am inviting them without guests. I would rather invite 10 of my friends than leave out a bunch so they can bring their husbands who don't know anyone else (including me & the groom) and they are excited to have a girl's night. It really is up to you and what your space can fit. Ultimately, you need to have the people there that mean the most to you and you shouldn't cut important people out because your neighbor has a boyfriend that "has" to come. I have been invited to weddings without my FH and vice versa, it was not an issue. Good Luck and try to ignore the rude comments!

Plus ones are dates; allowing a guest to bring a plus one is optional.

SOs are not anyone's plus one. They are partners, a couple, members of a social unit. They are both invited by name.

If you don't know if they consider themselves a couple, ask them.

Yes, sometimes couples break up. Married people separate. People move to Alaska. Or die. You can't base your invitation list on that kind of possibility.