Who gets a plus one?

There's an edit button.

You should've been here a month ago! Good Luck with planning.

If they are married, "Mr. and Mrs. (Name)

If they are single, "Mr." ... or "Ms"....

If they are in a relationship and not married, "Mr. (Name) and Guest" or Mr. (Name) and Ms. (Name)" if you know the name of the SO then put both names on the invitation.

If you don't want people to bring a plus one, don't write "and Guest" on the envelope, just write the name of the person you are inviting. If they ask you later if they can bring someone it's up to you to decide to allow it depending where you are in your head count and how much space you have.

It's YOUR wedding. You don't have to make EVERYONE happy and trying to is impossible. Do what you can to include your close friends and family and everyone else after if there is space and room in your budget.

I get this totally! We just finalized the guest list for our wedding 6 months from now and here's how we did it: 1) every person in our wedding party gets a plus-one; that's the absolute least you can do since they're helping out at your wedding; 2) everyone who is currently in a relationship (whether married or dating) as we are sending out the save the dates now gets a plus-one. 3) Anyone who is NOT in a relationship currently does not get a plus one (unless they are a member of the wedding party, in which case see Rule 1 . Rule 3 applies to family as well as friends, and that's what's worked well for us. Also, we are only inviting our closest friends (partially because my fiance has a large family and my family has a lot of very old and dear family friends we need to invite). These rules have helped us keep our wedding count below our max (150) and avoid the issue of one of our guests starting to date someone only a month or two before your wedding and deciding they suddenly want to bring a plus one that we can't afford and have never met. But it also acknowledges your friends and family that are already in relationships, regardless of how long they've been in those. Hope this helps and good luck!

I don't think it's rude to not invite everyone's SOs. If they want their SO to come, they can ask me, which I've had people do, and I've added their SO's names to the invitations (I did send out a save the date though, so they had a chance to ask before I sent out invites). It's YOUR wedding, not theirs and they should understand that.

Do what you want to. It is YOUR wedding. I am choosing to only give plus ones to those who are married, or will not know anyone at the wedding. If they choose not to come because their SO didn't get an invite, so be it. I wont be upset. Essentially its about money and space and I am inviting those who are important to ME. If they ask me and I have the space to add their SO, I will try my best to add.

There are exceptions. But its about what I can afford to do. Most people understand that. Everyone is so focused on what makes the guests comfortable but no one is putting this much effort into what makes the bride/groom comfortable. The bottom line is that it is my wedding and I will do what works for me.

That's a totally rude plan. Both for your tier B guest list that doesn't get dinner and your "We're sorry we don't have enough money for your partner" plan.

You're really going to alienate some people with both of this ideas. It's totally against etiquette as well. Being rude with the excuse that you don't have enough money doesn't cut it.

The better plan would have been to cut the guest list so you could host everyone properly.

Yep, this!

First, I do not believe the question was asked to "exclude" anyone and I do not believe anyone is being "rude" or trying to judge anything based on a length of relationship. We are planning my daughter's wedding for this summer and have had this same conversation. Many times it's about the maximum number of guests you can invite and /or the cost, and other times people just want to know what is socially acceptable! We have a max capacity of 300 guests, large families and lots of friends, so our decision to have Plus 1's was only based on this (as we can only have 150 guests for each side). We also chose not to have infants and small children, which has been well received by those more than happy to get a sitter and have an evening out. With regard to the +1's, we explained this to those that were not married/with fiancé that our issue was simply based on what the venue can hold, and that is the only reason they are the only one named on the Save The Date Cards; each person my daughter and future son-in-law spoke with was gracious, completely understanding, and not upset or offended at all. We further explained that as we receive "Regrets" (as we put RSVP on both Save The Date AND the Invitations) and find out who is not able to come, we will gladly open up additional invites to girlfriend & boyfriends on the Wedding Invitations themselves, or personally contact them, which they all seemed to like this idea. Again, by explaining our predicament, our family and friends were able to understand our circumstances and the reason for our decision, and that it had nothing to do with trying to exclude anyone or being rude at all. There will always be those that become offended no matter how you explain it, as those that have never been in that situation just don't have first-hand experience with how difficult a decision it can be. Not their fault, they just don't know. If neither cost nor venue space is an issue for you, in my personal opinion, it's nice to invite girlfriend's and boyfriends that are known. If they don't currently have one, it's ok to just invite them, and if they get into a new relationship as the date gets closer, they will probably just call and ask you if it's ok at that time to bring the new SO :-) Remember - it's your wedding day and your pictures and memories, so do what you truly need feel is right in your heart for your day. Congrats and Happy Wedding Planning!

Angela - WA State

For my wedding, everyone that has a significant other (or someone they've been "seeing" for a long time) gets a +1, and any guest that will not know anyone else besides my FH and I.

There is none! That's the trick of wedding planning, apparently. Once you realize and accept that somebody's feelings will be hurt along the way, (but they will get over it, eventually) the easier planning will be, and the stress will just melt away. Haha! Ok, so not really, but it does help to remind yourself that you are not INTENTIONALLY hurting anyone's feelings, but not all your ideas or plans for your wedding are going to match up with everyone else's. But like you said, the bottom line is it's YOUR wedding. YOUR ideas are the ones that matter! As long as your not maliciously slashing people off your guest list, which doesn't sound like you are, just keep going with what you feel.

I don't understand your questions. Both of those situations would be a yes. Anyone who is "seeing" someone or dating/engaged/married, etc gets a +1. I would not give a +1 to someone who is not seeing anyone at all who has friends also attending the wedding. And my wedding as a whole are people who I am close enough to to know what is going on in their "dating life".

Therefore, I am not judging anyone's relationship. It's all fact- you either have a POI or not.