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Jayla
Champion October 2025

Which came first: sending your save-the-dates or asking your wedding party?

Jayla, on December 11, 2018 at 11:05 AM

Posted in Planning 102

What did you check off of your planning checklist first? Was it sending out your save-the-dates, or officially asking your friends or family to be in the wedding party? Photo by Marina Rey Photography in Greensboro, NC Next Question: Which came first: deciding on your first dance song or your songs...

What did you check off of your planning checklist first? Was it sending out your save-the-dates, or officially asking your friends or family to be in the wedding party?

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Photo by Marina Rey Photography in Greensboro, NC


Next Question: Which came first: deciding on your first dance song or your songs for parent dances?

Back to the Beginning: Which came first?


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102 Comments

  • Jayla
    Champion October 2025
    Jayla ·
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    Aww I'm sure it was such a nice moment!!

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  • Jayla
    Champion October 2025
    Jayla ·
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    I am laughing at roll call lol!!!

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  • caitie-lyn
    Dedicated January 2020
    caitie-lyn ·
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    Asking our wedding party. We haven't sent out our save the dates yet as we haven't done our engagement shoot yet and we're still a little over a year out.

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  • Nett
    Devoted January 2019
    Nett ·
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    Sent STD’s first, I didn’t want anyone feeling pressured since I’m having a DW.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    For me it was so out of town guest have notice to take off work or make plans.
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  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
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    Wedding party first, oops. I asked really early because I couldn't contain myself haha.

    We'll be sending out STDs in August!

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  • Tianna
    Savvy June 2019
    Tianna ·
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    I asked my bridal party first. I was super excited and couldn't wait lol. Then we sent the save the dates, which went out a year in advance. And THEN my FH got around to officially asking his friends. It took him quite a while to finally ask everyone.

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  • Kaitlyn
    Dedicated September 2019
    Kaitlyn ·
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    Wedding party! We asked our wedding party in September, but won't be sending our save the dates out until late January.

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  • Amanda
    Savvy June 2021
    Amanda ·
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    We asked our wedding party first.
    • Reply
  • Shana
    Dedicated October 2019
    Shana ·
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    I asked my wedding party first. I haven't even thought about sending STD's yet.
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  • Mrs. Dujmovic
    Devoted July 2019
    Mrs. Dujmovic ·
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    Asking our wedding party!! However, there have been some changes in our wedding party since sending our save the dates

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  • Ginsteeca
    Expert June 2019
    Ginsteeca ·
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    I asked my bridesmaids to be in the wedding soon after getting engaged September 2017, and we mailed our Save the Dates a year before the wedding. Our groomsmen are our sons, and they've been chosen since the very very beginning, pre-engagement, before I even met FH I knew I would want my boys in my wedding if I ever married again. His 8 year old son as his best man just made sense to us.

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  • Jayla
    Champion October 2025
    Jayla ·
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    That is so sweet and will make your wedding day so special!!

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  • Jayla
    Champion October 2025
    Jayla ·
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    That's usually how it goes lol!! I have seen a few brides say they asked their bridal party way before their fiance got around to asking his groomsmen!

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  • S
    Savvy January 2020
    Savannah ·
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    I asked my wedding party first. All my girls knew I was getting married before I even announced it. But I didn't officially ask till after my announcement.
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  • D
    Super September 2019
    Dana ·
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    Asking my wedding party !! Save the dates aren’t going out until January 2019
    • Reply
  • Mmssecrets
    Devoted March 2019
    Mmssecrets ·
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    Asking my wedding party.
    • Reply
  • Alyrae
    Super February 2020
    Alyrae ·
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    Asking my wedding party .... definitely.... I haven't even dont save the dates yet
    • Reply
  • mrsanda
    VIP March 2017
    mrsanda ·
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    I asked my wedding party right away, at least my MOH and then bridesmaids a little later.
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  • Hannah
    Devoted July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Asking the bridal party. We aren't sending STD's.

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