Maggie
Champion October 2025

Where did you draw the line on family?

Maggie, on October 11, 2018 at 4:05 PM Posted in Planning 0 47
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Whether your wedding is large or small, people want their family members at their wedding to celebrate with them. But at what point do you cut the guest list off? Where did you draw the line on family? Did you invite your first cousins? Second cousins? Families of in-laws?

Where did you draw the line on family? 1

Photo by DC Photography Studios in Fresno

For more guest list talk, check in on these discussions: Guest list breakdown! Who's on the list?, Which has been more difficult - managing the budget or the guest list?, and How big is your guest list?


47 Comments

  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    We invited everyone in our family we knew. So if there is a cousin somewhere I've never met, they aren't getting invited.

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  • C
    Dedicated June 2019
    Cynthia ·
    • Flag
    I am still trying to figure this out myself. But one thing we have talked about is when was the last time we saw these people? Or have they met our future spouse? And just doing that has made it a lot easier.
    • Reply
  • Haaley
    Expert December 2019
    Haaley ·
    • Flag
    My cousins have a ton of kids. So we have limited the wedding to adults only- not including FH brothers who will be part of our wedding party. (13 & 10)
    • Reply
  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
    • Flag
    We went to second cousins, but only the local ones. We didn't invite anyone from mexico, Arizona or Texas. It would have just been way too many.
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  • G
    Devoted April 2020
    Grace ·
    • Flag
    We have limited the wedding to immediate family only meaning only parents,grandparents,siblings,aunts,uncles and first cousins. This allows us to have a small guest list of no more than 30. Our guests will only be those that we regularly speak with and see at holidays.
    • Reply
  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
    • Flag

    I invited all my aunts, uncles, cousins (and their children) - that was 98 people for my family alone BUT I am very close to my family so I wouldn't have it any other way! Since my family is large, we did not invite great aunts/uncles or second/third cousins.

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  • Maggie
    Champion October 2025
    Maggie ·
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    I bet it would, Cynthia. You want the people you're close with to be there celebrating, I understand that. Was there a common theme you noticed? Like did all of your second cousins not get the invite?

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  • Maggie
    Champion October 2025
    Maggie ·
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    Ooh, I like that, that's a solid line, Grace. Do you see these family members at all holidays and speak to them regularly or is it one or the other?

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  • Erin
    Savvy July 2019
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    We had almost 375 people on our guest list, and decided we needed to narrow it down, so we invited all immediate family and their kids (obviously) close family friends and their kids, and first cousins and their kids. After that, for anyone further than a first cousin we just invited the adults.
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  • Sarah8119
    Savvy August 2019
    Sarah8119 ·
    • Flag
    I still dealing with this myself. I know I have some time to narrow it down as my wedding is August of 2019. It’s gonna be a fight with my mom. If I limit it to immediate family through first cousins and their kids I won’t be able to have my friends come. To me I could care less if my cousins are there as I don’t see most of them anyways. I want people there that I care about.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    I have a REALLY large family (dad is the middle child of 9 kids). All of my aunts and uncles were invited. But when it comes to cousins and their kids, my rule was basically, if we don't talk, you're not invited. I have some cousins I don't speak to (one even blocked me on social media a few years ago over my refusal to join his church....weird) and some I only see every few years or at funerals. But the vast majority I see regularly. So when it came to "well do I invite so and so because I invited her other two sisters," I'd ask myself if I had seen them in the last year, if we had even so much as emailed each other in the last year, and finally - "if they did not attend, would either one of us really care?"

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  • G
    Devoted April 2020
    Grace ·
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    We see them at all holidays and speak to most of them regularly. There are a few that we only get to see on holidays or a few times a month as its the only time we can see them as they are busy with work.
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Expert October 2018
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    We invited grandparents, parents, siblings and neices/nephews. We're actually really close to most of FH's aunts, uncle and first cousins, and mine would have definitely come if invited. After inviting a couple of our closest friends we're at a number that we're comfortable hosting.
    • Reply
  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
    • Flag
    My guest list was at 420. We cut second and third cousins out, some church family and no children except our nieces and nephews. Hard decision but had to be made.
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Dedicated August 2019
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag
    We both have big families so we have all of our aunts/ uncles and first cousins. That alone gets us to about 100 people. We invited all of our great aunts and uncles. We drew the line at second cousins and also we did the whole if we werent invited to yours you arent to ours. A lot of them understand how hard guest lists can be so its not causing a lot of issues. We are just focusing on who we want there and who we haven't talked to in a while
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Champion October 2025
    Maggie ·
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    Oh man, that is a mighty guest list number. How many people did you end up cutting out? And how many can your venue hold?

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  • Maggie
    Champion October 2025
    Maggie ·
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    I think that's a solid method, Melissa. It really gets the family members you actively see in on this celebration. Smiley smile How many people did you end up inviting?

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  • Caitlin
    Dedicated November 2019
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag

    We drew the line at family we knew. FH's side of the family is not large (just immediate family) with no extended relatives that he knows so we weren't to concerned about that. As for my side, I have a large family spanning across all of Canada and Europe while living in the states (literally no one in my family but my parents and 3/5 of my siblings live in the U.S). On that note, we are inviting my grandparents, aunts, uncles and 1st cousins, mainly on my moms side. If we started inviting 2nd and 3rd cousins on the European side, we would not be able to find a venue that would accommodate everyone lol.

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  • Larisa
    Devoted July 2019
    Larisa ·
    • Flag
    I started with friends. Neither of us have many people outside family that we want to invite. And neither of us are very close to our families. His guest list was 63 total. I come from 2 very large families. My mom has 5 siblings, while my dad has 13! That being said, I only wrote down the ones I’m close to and would want there, then those who i think would want to come. All of FH guests and my dads side would have to travel so we expect many to decline.
    • Reply
  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
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    Tell me about it hahaha. My venue holds 266 people (I know odd number lol), that is our guide. So In total we cut 154 people. We are planning for about 275 when we account for vendors. We will have the vendors in a separate area so they can have a break from guest and eat there when and if they’d like to.
    • Reply

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