What would be THE MOST RUDE/TACKY THING at a wedding?

I went to a wedding a few years back -there were about 40 guests... of those 40, about 25 had place cards and assigned seats at decorated circular tables. We were told if we didn't see our place cards at a table we should just take a seat somewhere at the long tables along the walls. So tacky - first you had to see if you "made the cut" by reading all the place cards at the decorated tables... only find out you didn't and slink over to sit at a table against the walls (note - this reception also had food made by their church ladies).

ETA - we rsvped for the event.... so they had our names.

Ug @oceankissed. I think I'd prefer no one gets a seat. At least it is fair. I can't stand not having a seat.

Anything with a 'give me all your money' theme; cash bars, honeymoon funds, ,cake smash jars, dollar dances, 50/50's, wishing wells.

I am very, very lucky; I don't get to see these things in the flesh because my couples generally don't do these things. But I've heard tell.....

The worst-hosted wedding I've been to was in the middle of nowhere (as in nothing around for a half hour), the 1:00p ceremony started 45 min late, and there was a gap. The gap (according to the wedding website) was only supposed to be 30 min (for pictures) but ended up be 2 hrs. We were not allowed inside to the reception hall during that time (I got yelled at by the bride's aunt when I went in to use the bathroom).

Two of my friends were also at the wedding, and we wandered around the grassy area outside the reception space in heels for an hour. About an hour into the gap, the bride's aunt (who was policing the reception area) let us sit at the outdoor picnic tables and have access to the outdoor bar, which consisted of self-serve rum, fruity mixers, and fruit-flavored beer. No food though. Luckily, none of the alcohol was very appealing, so I managed not to get smashed drinking on an empty stomach. Finally, the bride and groom were done with pics, but then they did a receiving line, which took forever. Lunch/dinner was served about 3 hours late. I had driven an hour and half and had to take a ferry to get to the venue for the 1:00p ceremony, so I was starving by the time dinner was served. I couldn't leave earlier because I had a ferry reservation for a certain time that I couldn't change to an earlier time. My friends (who were going in a different direction home and were taking a different ferry that did not require a reservation) nicely stayed with me.

The couple also had open seating (75/80-person wedding). We were left with an empty table in the middle of the room right in front of the sweetheart table. It felt pretty awkward. There was an additional self-serve bar inside with wine and champagne, so I got to drink something then.

The couple also specifically had asked for monetary gifts only to put towards some pretty sweet kayaks. Turns out they had already purchased the kayaks (as they were on display during the reception) and had asked for money to reimburse themselves. Toward the end of the reception the couple's family began asking guests to help clean up and put away the tables and chairs. We left at that point - have to catch a ferry, see ya!

As awful as this wedding sounds (and was), I ended up having a pretty good time with my friends (one of whom I never get to see). Fun people can make even the worst event fun. Plus, we had low expectations going into the wedding; we actually weren't sure there was even going to be a meal served at all based on the invitation wording, much less free alcohol. Several of our friends declined for this reason. I went because I felt bad and guilty that none of our friends were going to be there. ETA - no thank you notes for our cards and monetary gifts, just group email from the groom saying "Thanks everyone who gave us money."

I agree... pulling out the wallet stuff is tacky. Not tacky, but we had to do an hour drive between ceremony and reception. That's fine, but the bride/groom didn't post the address of the ceremony. They had simply listed the name of the place, which wasn't very popular on google.

I went to a wedding recently where the hosting itself wasn't too bad (there was a cash bar, though), but the thank you note I got was the kicker. It was a picture of their ~grand exit~ and just had "Thanks and love from the bottom of our hearts, love Mr. & Mrs. X" printed on them. No mention of the gift FH and I purchased. FH wasn't included at all, it was only addressed to me. I will forever side-eye my friend.

@tamara I used that word because they used a go fund me. Like that is a lot to ask of people! But yeah, I wasn't there, but based on pictures and videos it was horrible. They had a video of the bride and groom on the dance floor trying to force people to dance while everyone just sat around looking bored and hungry.

I'm at $12k for 80 people, so I honestly don't even know how they managed salads for 250.

So my FH has a friend who lived with them for about 3 year because he was homeless in high school. My FILs are basically like parents to him. They sent invitations that we're addressed to his parents and family. It was a out of state wedding and at the time we had been dating almost 2 years. When asked if I was invited they said that I was not. FHs mom talked to them and they eventually invited me. After making arrangements to go out of state (booking the hotel and rental van) and sending the RSVPs they call and tell us that my FHs neices we're not invited (they were 6 months and 2 at the time) and also FHs younger brothers weren't invited. Keep in mind the invite said his parents names "and family". We ended up not going in the end because they shouldn't expect us to find a babysitter at a destination wedding. Also, his mom got a card in the mail stating that they know she isn't invited to the bridal shower because she lives so far away but it would be nice for her to send them a gift anyway to support them. WTH. She didn't even know the bride.

The *most* rude/tacky?

I guess for me, some of the "quelle horreur", typical ones that have been mentioned multiple times already are, personally, not super offensive by themselves. I don't die over cash bars: they aren't nearly as "gimmygimmy" as some of the other offenses.

But as several people have shared, if someone has a cash bar and a honeyfund, they also often have a cake smash betting jar, a dollar dance, a wishing well...if the couple is providing multiple ways for guests to open their wallet, that's gross.

But then again, one of the best weddings I've been to had the bride's father as the officiant, haybales for ceremony seating, a potluck reception and several lawn games...no wallet-opening there, but clearly things many on this particular forum take offense to.

-A fake cake. Haha jk, maybe not.

-Dry wedding and everyone left by 8pm.

-honeyfunds

-honeymoon "tip" jars on the gift table

-Dollar dance

-Been to a wedding with no dancing time or dancefloor for guests. Apparently they didn't want us to have fun? We danced anyway haha.

@rustythedog it possibly was but it was a huge catherdral there were 200 people there and felt like 20 it was that empty. Most churches here are generally cold and breezy, they are generally old stone buildings that are extremely hard to heat. I should have know better and worn a big coat!!!

Blantant gift grabbing. So I went to a wedding a few years ago where the bride and groom both exclaimed they were being as cheap as possible, for as many people as possible, so they could get presents. The groom (a friend) looked me in the eye and said the only reason for a wedding is to get gifts. Of course it was dry (they both drink and are non religious), on a 90 degree day outside on a Friday afternoon. Yeaah, they got some 50% off fiestaware for their wedding gift from me.

Worse than a cash bar or a dry wedding: I went to a wedding that actually had a bar set up, but they were ONLY serving the bride/groom, and the wedding party. No indication of that being the case until you walked up to the bar and tried to order a drink and got the shut-down. You couldn't even buy one if you wanted to. Horrible.

My FSIL had a formal wedding in her mom's back yard. She made the food herself. She sent out invites on FB. Had my FH be the bar tender and the DJ. And she told everyone it was BYOB. It was pretty horrible. And then she was mad when almost no one showed up or stayed very long. And was mad when I couldn't come until after work since she never sent me or FH an invite (not even on FB) until 3 days before hand. Like WTF are you mad at me about.

The recent wedding I attended invited 300 people and those who attend were really upset. There was just too many people in a room during the reception and not enough... anything! No where to sit, they didn't have music, no drinks, limitations on food... I think the kicker was no cake for anyone else but the wedding party. They had snacks, but not enough to go around. It was miserable and went on too long.

Cash bar and honeyfunds are really bad in IMO, but not feeding your guests a proper meal - to be appetizers only do not count as a meal- is very bad (esp a wedding where most guests are OOT).

One of my closest friend's son got married. I sent an engagement gift, shower gift (couldn't attend shower), generous cash wedding gift. Wedding was out of town, we flew and stayed 2 nights in the hotel. We were very happy to attend the wedding and share the joy. I received a thank you note, months later, Dear (Insert the wrong name here) so glad you could attend our wedding. I didn't say anything to my friend for months but finally did. She was very embarrassed. I think her other friend got my thank you note and I got hers. So now they're having a baby...

I just went to a wedding last weekend. Let me tell you. It was more of a family backyard party than a traditional wedding. First of all the ceremony started like 45 minutes late. I saw people drinking beer but it wasn’t out In a cooler that I could see and no one offered me any. The food and cake was all made by family members (yeah I didn’t eat anything) and they didn’t have chairs or tables so we sat on the ground to eat (while my husband ate I mean- I was surprised he actually ate. He had the shits the next day, I would also like to mention). I wouldn’t have minded this gatheringso much but this was my husbands friend, and I didn’t know anyone there so I was super bored.

@ Celia Milton, what are these? "cake smash jars, 50/50's, wishing wells." Anyone can answer if you could....I have never heard of these things!

@bluevelvet They are gross money grabs that people do because they love money more than their guests.

Cake smash jars are two jars set up with a sign that says "Who should have the cake smashed in their face" and one jar says bride and the other says groom whichever has the most money in by the cake cutting gets their face covered in cake

50/50s are like buying raffle tickets. I've seen people do it for the veil, bouquet or a centerpiece of their choosing.

idk about wishing wells