What would be THE MOST RUDE/TACKY THING at a wedding?

@MrsBdeG: thank you!! Oh my goodness those things sound HORRID. We did not feed each other cake, God gave my hubby hands and the ability to use a fork. We had a traditional Norweigan Kransekakke wedding cake so one can't smash it anyways.

Raffling off a veil or a bouquet? UGH to the tenth degree!!

This is more awkward than rude or tacky, but I went to a friend's wedding a few years ago that was not only dry, but had no dancing other than the bride and groom's first dance, father/daughter and mother/son dances. It was at a Baptist church, so they didn't really have a choice (unless they'd had the reception elsewhere obviously), but it was a very awkward and short reception.

They also had FH as their photographer, he did it for free as a wedding gift to them. He is a semi-professional photographer on the side, but it was only the second wedding he'd shot (and he hasn't done one since because it was too stressful), not a great decision on their part. I love FH to bits, but I have to admit those photos weren't very good.

Oh, and they invited most of their guests via a Facebook event, but I found out from a post on the event that certain people got physical invitations. *eyeroll*

That being said, it was a very sweet ceremony, dinner was good as I recall, and I wasn't upset about the reception being over pretty quickly after the dances, bouquet and garter toss, and cake cutting, since I had to work the next morning. (It was on a Friday, but I still had to work weekends)

My cousin had just appetizers at his wedding and it didn't really bother me since there were lots of options and plenty to go around. It was just a little awkward because there was no menu or anything else informing us that was it, so most people took small portions at first, and then there was an awkward rush for seconds as everyone realized there was no more food coming out.

Cash bars and honeyfunds don't really bother me, but I agree the blatant money-grabbing (dollar dance, jars set out at the reception, etc.) is tacky.

I went to a wedding years ago where most people quickly left after the meal was served, leaving basically family and bridal party. First the dollar dance, then the bride and groom were kidnapped and couldn't return until the remaining guests raised a $300 or so ransom.... they were probably gone at least an hour until grandpa poneyed up and paid whatever was left....it was so uncomfortable!

This has happened more than once to me... being invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding!!

Just adding on to this because I'm attending a bridal shower that is requesting gift cards or honey fund money....

Dollar dances or pay to decide who gets the cake in their face. Both are terrible ideas. I also think cash bars are terrible ideas, I would be very annoyed if I had to pay for drinks all night.

Oh, another one that really pissed me off (and maybe wrongly so, I'm not sure) was that my husband was invited to the rehearsal dinner but I was not. And then all the bridal party was expected to hang out in the bride and groom's hotel room afterward and get wasted. The next day at the wedding we weren't seated together either. It really gave me a bad taste for the bride and groom.

@Abbie what made the haybale/potluck wedding one of the best you've been to? What was nice about it?

Oooohhhh where should I start...

Not enough food!, at a friend's wedding, buffet style, people were literally fighting to get something to eat (FH got pushed out of the line by a lady trying to get a piece of beef), and FBIL's wedding also ran out of food (although that was his caterer's fault, since they paid for twice as much as they got)

Not inviting SO's is a big NO-NO... FH and his siblings have a group of friends who grew us together and still live near their old neighborhood, one of them got married and the invite got to FFIL's addressed to "Mr. FFIL and family", with "3 seats reserved in your honor", now FH has 3 siblings so it wasn't weird they weren't all invited to some events, usually invites came open for 2 or 4 and they decided who'll go with my in-laws (this was before his mom's passing so it was usually them plus FH and I), anyways... this couple told FSIL (her closest friend out of the 4 siblings) one was her obviously and another one was for FFIL who was like a 2nd dad to her, now... the thing is this particular FSIL is the only one not in a relationship, FSIL no. 2, FBIL and FH all are in relationships, FH and I have been together for longer, but none o the others are new relationships, so this girl knew this and wanted one of them to go without their partner

Then there's FH's cousin's where they didn't have a seating chart so they had people eating while 50+ were just standing there waiting for the planner to make room somewhere for them

I've been to dry weddings before, but they didn't really bothered me (maybe because neither me or FH drink alcohol) I truly found those listed more rude than them

I'm sure I'm going to remember another one soon, so I'll probably post again

I had a neighbor whose daughter married in a ward of the local LDS church. (It was NOT a temple wedding, it was a civil wedding in a church ward) and they ran out of food, it was poorly executed, used paper plates and plastic cutlery. No one was really running the event, the MOB worked in a local deli so the food was good but they only had enough for 25-30 people when 50-60 were there. No one expected alcohol, obviously, but people still left early. On the up side, the bride was super happy and they are still married years later!

I'm pretty chill and most of the "go to" things don't bother me much. But I will say that I once missed out on the taco truck street corn because they ran out before all the tables had been through and I was SO BUMMED. We were the last table to be excused to eat (which is fine, I can be patient), and we watched all the other guests walk by with their plates with multiple cobs... and then our table got up and I was like, "two chicken tacos and corn, please..." and they were like, "oooh, sorry... we're out of corn..." I WAS ROBBED of street corn.

(I love street corn.)

Anything & everything that costs guests money (other than the wedding gift). Whether it's cash bar, honeyfund, admission, dollar dance, cake smash, garter/bouquet auction (still cant believe thats a thing!) etc it costs guests money.

@Stephanie that ransom thing is crazy! I think I would've taken it as their exit and left. Hope you didn't cave and contribute!

Okay, I have two more, one that happened at my own wedding two weeks ago, although it was not the THE rudest thing ever: A friend of ours HEAPED food onto his plate, like enough for 3/4 people. We had pulled pork sliders and 4 cheese mac & cheese (lunch reception) and he piled the pork on, it was seriously enough for many more people. Then came the mac and cheese!! Many people commented on it to me later - it did not bother me but I did think, "Geez, could you wait for others to go through before you overindulge?" LOL!

The other: "kidnapping" the bride. This may have been a thing back in the 70's but a friend had a sister whose parents threw a lavish affair only to have bride and groom go race go karts (yes...go karts) for HOURS. People left, MOB was, in a word, pissed.

Okay, back to edit as I have a third thing: I got married the first time on 4/30/94 - a BM called and left a message on my answering machine that she had decided to move out of her apt that night and could not be a bridesmaid. I never called her back, never spoke to her again, actually!! She called YEARS later to catch up and I was like, uh, no I am busy.....

Y'all... I was a BM in a wedding, where, due to "budget" NO ONE in the wedding party (five on each side) was allowed to bring their SOs or a date.

Not a huge problem I guess, we were all in it together... Then, the RSVPs start coming in. Bride calls us all and says that her MOH can bring her BF.

Hmm ok that's kind of annoying but nothing I can do.

A couple weeks later, bride let's us know that another BM who has been dating her BF for years can bring him.

Well... Shit, ok, at least I have my other single friend to hang with (you can see where this is going).

Long story short, by the end of it, everyone was allowed a date/plus one EXCEPT me because I was the only "truly" single person (other BMs were dating).

I was flying halfway across the country, twice, for her bridal activities, hotel room each time, gift, $200 dress, and I had to pay for my hair, but she couldn't spring for me to bring someone.

After I told her that she was shitty, she decided it was "ok" if I brought someone, and then suggested our mutual friend who she liked, but was TOO CHEAP TO INVITE smh.

Needless to say, everyone got a plus one at our wedding.

I was separated from my fiance for the dinner where he was a groomsmen I wasn't too uncomfortable because I was seated with his family and I knew them pretty well and they had a big bridal party, but I really wish I could've spent that time with him. I won't be separating the bridal party and dates at my wedding.

Asking guests to help set up/tear down

Tacky...complaining about food to either the bridal party and or bride n groom

I'm with Dana: Just cake and punch as a reception with lots of out of town guests I think is rude. They spend a lot of time and money to get to you and to share the day with you, thank them accordingly. I think it is less rude for a wedding of mainly local attendees.

Honeyfunds don't bug me. As a bride to be who has been living with her FH for almost 3 years, we are struggling to put together a registry (we also have a tiny, but full apt), so I get why people do it.

Was recently at a wedding where a brides friend was the DOC and wore an inappropriately short dress. Wouldn't call that rude, but it was tacky AF, especially for someone who should be letting the bride have the spotlight

I forgot about this one. My old coworker invited every manager (we were both managers) except for me to her wedding. She invited managers that were hired after me, but no invite to me. We had a good relationship, she even told me that she was going to propose to her now wife. I still don't like her due to that.