What to do when a bridesmaid is having a fit about her hair being in an updo for the wedding day?

No! Goodness! That isn't too much to ask.

It's not about her. She should be willing to do whatever you want to her hair, especially since you are paying for it.

I'm usually all about letting bridesmaids do whatever will make them feel more comfortable, but honestly if you're paying for it, I don't think it's TOO much to ask. Maybe you can find some pictures of loose, soft up-dos and offer them to her as suggestions.

Sounds like you have a bit of a Maidzilla on your hands. Hold your ground. Do not argue with her just try to ignore her. When the other girls are having there hair put up you might be able to let peer pressure do the job for you.

Dude, if you paid for hair and makeup women to work on me I'd let you do anything you want to my hair.

You are not being a bridezilla by any means. Can you get one of the hair ladies to do a trial on your bridesmaid so she can see what she'll look like on the big day? If you can't, that's okay too. At this point she needs to chill out. It's one day of her life, she can wear her hair how you want it. You'll never ask her to do it again.

At my sisters wedding, the other two bridesmaids had updos, i honestly hate my hair fully up. My sister was ok with me having it half up/half down. It didn't look odd that I had a slightly different hairstyle.

As a woman who hates her hair entirely up, I think you are being reasonable. Have you tried talking to her? Is there a particular reason you want all the hair up? Are you having them all do the same style, or just an updo? How about sitting down with her (the morning of, no sense is wasting the time now) and suggesting things that would look gorgeous on her?

If not, she can just be unhappy for a few hours...

I like the idea of explaining that there are many types of up dos from very tight to loose, also partial up-dos (1/2 up and 1/2 down), she really should work with you to accommodate this.

@Amy: "maidzilla" bahaha love it! I haven't heard that term before.

@Stephanie,- no you have every right to ask her to wear the hair up, esp since you are paying for it..ya it would look fine if you had some BMs wearing hair up, some down..but since everyone is wearing hair up, it would look pretty odd I think if she was the only one with it down..is there a particular reason why she wants to not wear it up??

What do you do? Tell her to suck it up and deal with it! :o)

If they were having to pay for it, Id side with her-but since you are paying, she can get over it and deal.

maybe suggest a style that allows for some loose tendrils around the face so its not like you cant see her hair ata ll?

I would tell her that if she wants it down then she can pay for it.

I think you are being very reasonable. Its one day, she isn't going to die from having it up.

I'm going to have to disagree here - bridesmaids are supposed to be your dearest friends, not dollies or fashion accessories for you to dress up as you see fit, regardless of their feelings.

I understand it's just one day and not a big deal, but you could easily turn that around and say, if it's not a big deal, then why pressure her to look a way that makes her feel unattractive? It takes confidence to walk down an aisle with a bunch of strangers staring at you, why not make her as comfortable as possible?

My mom has an expression, "Is this really the hill you want to die on?" Like, is it worth a big battle just to get her to wear her hair a certain way? I'd honestly just let it go.

When you accept the role of BM, you accept everything that comes with it, including respecting the wishes of the bride and how she wishes you to dress. It's not going to kill her for ONE DAY to wear her hair up.

A compromise (sp?) for this would be to let her know that after the ceremony and photos are done, she is more than welcome to tear every last bobby pin out of her hair and wear it as she sees fit.

High fives Shannon

Thanks Sharon - basically, I just don't see bridesmaids as fashion accessories. It's just hair!

Me either, no one will notice whether her hair is up/down/purple/orange. They will notice you! Her friendship is worth more than making her a clone on your wedding day.

Sharon, if you were in my wedding, you could wear your hair however you want! Even a fauxhawk or mullet. Whatever! Just pour me a glass of champers, bustle my dress, and tell me I look pretty.

BMs aren't fashion dolls, but they should be respectful of what the bride wants for the style of her wedding. Imagine if one BM decided she wanted to wear jeans to the ceremony or a dress that was totally sheer.

The bride decides on the style for the wedding and the BMs should listen to what she wants not have a meltdown when she asks them to wear their hair a certain way.

It isn't just hair. The bride is paying thousands of dollars for a big event and it is her big day that she will be looking back on for the rest of her life. There will be pictures and videos and so many memories. OF THE BRIDE. Her money her vision her decisions. And if that means she wants all BMs to have a similiar hair-do then that is what she should have. For the BM it is just hair, deal with it. But for the bride, it is a lot more than that.