Victorian Bride
VIP June 2026

Wedding for 10/20/18 Cancelled!

Victorian Bride, on October 16, 2018 at 8:49 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 99
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Hi everyone!

I wanted to know if anyone has had to cancel their wedding within two weeks or less? Its all due to family drama. *sigh* FH and I are both extremely stressed.

My FH's brother was to cater and he told us barely 15 days before that he couldn't do it. He had no vaild excuse, AND he's a caterer. Also, lets just say, without detail, FH's sister also had a huge part in sabotaging our wedding! We honestly believe the two worked together. FH and I are just shocked at their cruelty. Their reason, I was told by my FH, is that since he is the caregiver for their ill mother, they wanted to guarantee that I'd not steal him from his duties. They are selfish and never assist with their Mother at all. We had made great provisions to care for her. As if we'd be so thoughtless to not care for an elderly lady! If only they would have just communicated their concerns, or bothered to ask us our plans?

This week is so hard. Counting down the days. Friends say not to think of it, but how do I stop? I've been dreaming of this day for months!! Our wedding was Saturday morning and it was going to be perfect! We had planned to the nth degree, as have we all. I had provided thoughtful touches like beautiful, vintage, white handcherchiefs for our guests for " happy tears." FH was marrying in his Victorian, ancestral church. So many guests were traveling to celebrate with us. We were, and are, so honored to have so many love us that much.

I've been non-stop calling guests and canceling vendors. We had a fairly large wedding. We sent out 175 invitations.

FH and I are thinking of eloping, now, just the two of us. Of course, we'd still have a professional photographer and marry in a beautiful location. We wish to marry and I don't want to plan another large wedding. Plus, we want to avoid ANY drama. If we elope in the Spring of 2019, we'd plan a big reception to celebrate our nuptials afterwards, sometime. Anyone do this? Was it successful? Many hard feelings on not being invited to the wedding/elopement?

Any thoughts, words of wisdom? I appreciate each of you so very much!! Thank you in advance.


99 Comments

  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
    • Flag
    I have no real words of wisdom just wanted to say I’m so sorry this happened. I hope you sort things out. Was there no other way to get food so that you guys could still hold the wedding? Again I’m so sorry you had to cancel.
    • Reply
  • N
    Dedicated December 2019
    Nina ·
    • Flag
    I’m sorry for your troubles and disappointment, but just wondering, wouldn’t it have been easier to find another caterer or food options rather than cancel the wedding?It is a shame that you sacrificed your vision, hard work and excitement if it was only due to the catering situation.
    • Reply
  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    • Flag
    Can you maybe call around to other catering services? Is that in your budget? I know or is last minute.
    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    VIP June 2026
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you so much! We did try to find another caterer. None were available. Also, most of my friends and family live at least 3 1/2 hrs away, so covered dishes weren't possible. And his sister did something so terrible to sabatoge our wedding that we'd had to cancel, anyway. If it were just the food, we'd not have cancelled.
    • Reply
  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    I am so so sorry this happened. I'm not sure what the horrible thing was that caused the drama but, I'd still push through it for the sake of my guests. For those who bought outfits, hotel rooms, airline tickets, rental cars....I wouldn't let someone else ruin my wedding. I would check out restaurants that cater. Magianno's and Olive Garden cater and can usually do it on short notice.

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  • Victorian Bride
    VIP June 2026
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you, Nina. We did try to find another caterer to no avail. What his sister did, which I won't go into detail, was worse than what the brother did. We could not have overcome her deceptiveness, unfortunately. This is why we are looking to elope. Can't do this again.
    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    VIP June 2026
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Colleen, our wedding is totally cancelled now. I appreciate your thoughts. The brother cancelling the catering was nothing compared to the stunt FH's sister pulled. Our wedding could not take place after her subterfuge. Very sad. So eloping to avoid any family drama in the future is going to be best.
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated June 2019
    Christina ·
    • Flag
    Wow, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you, this was your day to have everything go your way and they stole that. However I did have a friend whose mother passed around the time of her engagement (he pushed the engagement back because of it) and she didn’t want to have a ceremony if her mom couldn’t be there. So her and her FH decided to elope on their honeymoon. They flew to some tropical island, she wore a white dress and he wore a suit. They had a photographer and a cake and everything. The only guest were her dad and brother who surprised her so she wouldn’t be alone. Then they were able to immediately enjoy their honeymoon. Then about a month after they got back they had a reception with the family and friends and everything turned out really nice. They even had a slide show of their never before seen Ceremony pictures. So their are definitely options, do what you and your FH husband feels right. There is no reason you still can’t have your perfect day!
    • Reply
  • N
    Dedicated December 2019
    Nina ·
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    That is terrible. So sorry. Wishing you well on your elopement!
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  • Farrah
    Devoted September 2019
    Farrah ·
    • Flag
    I'm not trying to sound rude but saying "what the sister did was way worse" over and over again does not give us information to help you.

    Im so sorry this happened to you, that's a wedding nightmare.

    As for your guests, I'm sure there will be plenty of hard feelings, and I would probably assume they will not make the special trip next time you plan to get married. I know I would be so upset if payed for an outfit, plane ticket, hotels, etc.
    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    VIP June 2026
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you DC Bride. We are offering to refund airfare, we've taken care of the hotel rooms already; we are covering any expenses our guests are out. I have told many of our guests the horrible drama that caused us to cancel. Everyone is in shock, as are we. The majority of our guests, who know the whole story which is something out of a novel, have agreed eloping is in our best interest. If this had been minor ( not like catering is minor, but in our situation), like only catering, we'd not cancelled. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!
    • Reply
  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    Wow. I am so so sorry that something this bad happened but, I think you're elopement will be fabulous. I hope you come back and share pictures and I hope you guys figure out how to manage FH's clearly toxic family so that they no longer impact your lives like this.

    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag

    I also would have pushed through for our guests. This seems rash but hope you are happy with the decision you made and that everything works out. I wouldn't let two people affect 175, but that's just me. Best of luck.

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  • M
    Dedicated June 2017
    Monica ·
    • Flag

    I am so sorry to hear that. It sounds like you are handling the situation gracefully, and that speaks volumes about your character and your FH. I'm sorry he has a toxic family, I hope you are able to move past everything and have a beautiful elopement!

    • Reply
  • K
    Expert September 2019
    K.glass ·
    • Flag
    I would go ahead and elope now get the wedding done then his siblongs cant do anything to sabatoge it later. U have everything u sd u needed, find someone and just go do it.
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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    I feel like even if his sister burned the venue down and poisoned the officiant I'd push through. Whatever it is must be absolutely insane.

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  • Megan
    VIP January 2019
    Megan ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Right?? I’m dying to know.
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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all of this. Wedding planning can be stressful, yes, but it shouldn't be THIS stressful. I think you made the right call.

    Best of luck to you and FH!

    • Reply
  • K
    Expert September 2019
    K.glass ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Me too, cant help but wonder wat is so horrendous
    • Reply
  • latasha
    VIP September 2019
    latasha ·
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    Ah I see, I thought it was only the food. Again I’m so sorry. Wish things were better!
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