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Victorian Bride
Master April 2023

Wedding for 10/20/18 Cancelled!

Victorian Bride, on October 16, 2018 at 8:49 AM

Posted in Family and Relationships 99

Hi everyone! I wanted to know if anyone has had to cancel their wedding within two weeks or less? Its all due to family drama. *sigh* FH and I are both extremely stressed. My FH's brother was to cater and he told us barely 15 days before that he couldn't do it. He had no vaild excuse, AND he's a...
Hi everyone!

I wanted to know if anyone has had to cancel their wedding within two weeks or less? Its all due to family drama. *sigh* FH and I are both extremely stressed.

My FH's brother was to cater and he told us barely 15 days before that he couldn't do it. He had no vaild excuse, AND he's a caterer. Also, lets just say, without detail, FH's sister also had a huge part in sabotaging our wedding! We honestly believe the two worked together. FH and I are just shocked at their cruelty. Their reason, I was told by my FH, is that since he is the caregiver for their ill mother, they wanted to guarantee that I'd not steal him from his duties. They are selfish and never assist with their Mother at all. We had made great provisions to care for her. As if we'd be so thoughtless to not care for an elderly lady! If only they would have just communicated their concerns, or bothered to ask us our plans?

This week is so hard. Counting down the days. Friends say not to think of it, but how do I stop? I've been dreaming of this day for months!! Our wedding was Saturday morning and it was going to be perfect! We had planned to the nth degree, as have we all. I had provided thoughtful touches like beautiful, vintage, white handcherchiefs for our guests for " happy tears." FH was marrying in his Victorian, ancestral church. So many guests were traveling to celebrate with us. We were, and are, so honored to have so many love us that much.

I've been non-stop calling guests and canceling vendors. We had a fairly large wedding. We sent out 175 invitations.

FH and I are thinking of eloping, now, just the two of us. Of course, we'd still have a professional photographer and marry in a beautiful location. We wish to marry and I don't want to plan another large wedding. Plus, we want to avoid ANY drama. If we elope in the Spring of 2019, we'd plan a big reception to celebrate our nuptials afterwards, sometime. Anyone do this? Was it successful? Many hard feelings on not being invited to the wedding/elopement?

Any thoughts, words of wisdom? I appreciate each of you so very much!! Thank you in advance.


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99 Comments

  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you, Kristi. I'd probably wonder, too, if I read this post. I'm sorry it has to remain unexplained.
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you. I appreciate your support.
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you so much. I hope to post my BAM in the Spring!!
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Your photo's are gorgeous!!! Thank you for sharing your elopement with us Jazmin. Sooooo romantic!!❤
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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    OP I'm so sorry you're having to postpone again. Honestly with all the family issues you've had I can see why you'd want to elope. I think that would be quite romantic!

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  • Ashley
    Beginner June 2019
    Ashley ·
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    Oh goodness I am so sorry, but I hope you guys have a wonderful elopement!!!

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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    I am truly sorry to hear that Hurricane Florence made you all cancel your wedding! I grew on the Gulf Coast, so I know you plan and pray it doesn't happen. Again, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. How devastating to have that occur. I'm so glad you have rescheduled and you will have your beautiful day!! Yes! The most important thing is getting married!! We were originally supposed to get married in April of 2018. I, my FMIL, and most of the bridal party had the flu. We had to postpone until October. Now this unimaginable fiasco. I want to marry as soon as we can get the venue. Time is precious and I want to marry my FH! I'm just not up to planning another wedding. The new venue we love provides everything except the marriage license. We'll be happy. Did I want a wedding with friends and family? Yes, but I want to totally avoid ANY drama! Congratulations and Best Wishes. 💕💖 Thank you so much!!
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you so much, Kenisha!! We appreciate the thoughts and prayers SO much!! ❤
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you, Kristen328! You are very sweet and I appreciate you kind words.
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Annisa, Thank you for your kind words and support. I know our wedding day will be beautiful.
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  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
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    I'm so shocked and sorry to read your story! Your attitude and bravery is impressive. I always think that with my husband by my side, I can face anything. You still have your FH with you which is the most important thing. I hope when it all comes together it will be 10x better than you can imagine. Best of luck to you.

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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Oh Kat!! Thank you. I'll keep you all in my prayers for Hurricane Michael putting all of your plans on hold. You are very kind and I appreciate your comments more than you know. 💕💖
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  • Saba
    Dedicated November 2018
    Saba ·
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    I'm so very sorry this happened, but it sounds like you've got the biggest heart and are handling everything with poise and grace. In the same situation I don't think I'd have your strength; clearly you're an inspiration for those of us who get caught up in the wedding and forget about the marriage!

    I'm so glad you can focus on elopement and the marriage now. I know many couples who've chosen to elope and then have a reception months later. I went to a friend's reception at the John Hancock in Chicago--it was lovely and I didn't mind missing the ceremony or elopement at all. I still got the chance to congratulate the couple in person and share my well wishes. I attended another couple's reception in Chicago after their destination wedding in Dominican Republic. Again, it was a blast and I was happy for them.

    I also know that a lot of overseas marriages take place this way. I have many cousins who have the ceremony overseas and then after their spouse's visa approval comes in they'll move here and hold a big reception.

    In all these cases I've been happy to attend the reception and miss the ceremony/elopement. I attended small, medium and big receptions and they were all lovely.

    I think in your circumstances a private elopement and a public celebration is a great idea. Based on what happened I'd recommend you keep your elopement details on a "need to know" basis (though I'm sure you've already thought of this!). It might be worth being picky about your reception guests too.

    All my best,

    Saba

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  • B
    Dedicated November 2018
    Brittany ·
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    I am so sorry this happened, but honestly it sounds like your elopement will be better than your wedding plans and Lord knows, I wish I would have done the elopement route some days when dealing with drama, I cant imagine yours! Hopefully third times the charm! Oh and I would under no circumstance let his family know the new date, location. etc in case they plans another ridiculous routine!
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  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    Record the wedding don't just do pics and play it at the reception ? That way maybe people won't feel so left out of it?
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  • Amanda
    Expert August 2019
    Amanda ·
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    I am so sad for you that the brother and sister aren’t more supportive. I am sure your guests will understand. They just want to help you and FH celebrate so it will be nice to do a reception for people after you elope. At the end of the day, it’s about marrying your person.
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Thank you, Nicole!! I agree! We are stressed, but handling it. I'm still trying to inform guests. Thought I'd gotten everyone! Wow! A cousin just called to tell me she was sorry she couldn't attend. I've left messages, I guess some people aren't listening or reading them. *sigh* My worst nightmare is someone on my side driving 3-4 hrs to find out the wedding is cancelled. I've definitely spoken will all flying in. We are looking forward to our elopement ( FINALLY be Mr and Mrs) and large reception/celebration. 💕
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Dear Earias, I know you were. You've been so sweet to listen to my plans. If we marry in FH's church, I'm afraid someone will tell the bad siblings!! So, unfortunately, the beautiful Victorian church with the 20ft ceiling and 16 ft windows has lost its appeal. I don't trust those two. I want to get away from here. I'd love to do as you suggest, but it's not possible, now. And also, so many were coming, I wouldn't know how to cut the guest list. At least if we elope, no one will be invited and therefore no one's feelings will be hurt. Everyone will be invited to the reception. Then I'll use what special touches I can at our celebration. Is it perfect, No, but we'll meet our goal to be married. 👰Thank you!!❤
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    I pray your wedding day is everything you expected AND MORE!! Yes, it was hard to comprehend we had to cancel because of subterfuge. I didn't expect that!! I'm sorry to hear you are having family issues as well. Your ex sounds horrible. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you!
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  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Hi Wed18! Yes, I think it will be extremely romantic! FH came over this morning and said, " Let's elope somewhere memorable, so we can return each year for our anniversary!" My heart just melted. I have a good one!!❤
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