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Master April 2023

Wedding for 10/20/18 Cancelled!

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Victorian Bride, on October 16, 2018 at 8:49 AM

Hi everyone!

I wanted to know if anyone has had to cancel their wedding within two weeks or less? Its all due to family drama. *sigh* FH and I are both extremely stressed.

My FH's brother was to cater and he told us barely 15 days before that he couldn't do it. He had no vaild excuse, AND he's a caterer. Also, lets just say, without detail, FH's sister also had a huge part in sabotaging our wedding! We honestly believe the two worked together. FH and I are just shocked at their cruelty. Their reason, I was told by my FH, is that since he is the caregiver for their ill mother, they wanted to guarantee that I'd not steal him from his duties. They are selfish and never assist with their Mother at all. We had made great provisions to care for her. As if we'd be so thoughtless to not care for an elderly lady! If only they would have just communicated their concerns, or bothered to ask us our plans?

This week is so hard. Counting down the days. Friends say not to think of it, but how do I stop? I've been dreaming of this day for months!! Our wedding was Saturday morning and it was going to be perfect! We had planned to the nth degree, as have we all. I had provided thoughtful touches like beautiful, vintage, white handcherchiefs for our guests for " happy tears." FH was marrying in his Victorian, ancestral church. So many guests were traveling to celebrate with us. We were, and are, so honored to have so many love us that much.

I've been non-stop calling guests and canceling vendors. We had a fairly large wedding. We sent out 175 invitations.

FH and I are thinking of eloping, now, just the two of us. Of course, we'd still have a professional photographer and marry in a beautiful location. We wish to marry and I don't want to plan another large wedding. Plus, we want to avoid ANY drama. If we elope in the Spring of 2019, we'd plan a big reception to celebrate our nuptials afterwards, sometime. Anyone do this? Was it successful? Many hard feelings on not being invited to the wedding/elopement?

Any thoughts, words of wisdom? I appreciate each of you so very much!! Thank you in advance.

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99 Comments

Super September 2018
M&M Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 10:59 AM
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I am so sorry that you had to cancel your wedding under these circumstances. It sounds like you handled the situation the best way possible. Offering to pay airfare and hotel rooms for your guests was very generous. Wishing you the best with your elopement plans!
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Super April 2019
Jazmin · on October 16, 2018 at 11:38 AM
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My husband and I eloped a week after he proposed. I was visiting him in his country, he popped the question and since I was returning to my country soon we decided to elope.
Some of his friends attended as witnesses and it was perfect. We are having a tiny wedding at a gorgeous restaurant over the sea in my country next year, in order to share our union with our family (most of them don't even know we already got married).
You could elope and then have a nice reception with close friends and family to celebrate. In the end, your union and your love is what really matters. If our families had met before or where from the same country, we wouldn't be celebrating our wedding. Our elopement was amazing and we didn't miss not having them there.
Our elopement photoshoot
Our wedding location in my country
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 11:51 AM
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Oh Christina!! While I am very sorry for what happened to your friends, what they did sounds perfect for us! Thank you so much for sharing. Yes, we plan on having a lovely reception after we return. If there is any family drama, at least we'll already be married. ❤
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 11:53 AM
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Thank you. Your support is SO appreciated.
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Expert October 2018
Catjam · on October 16, 2018 at 11:56 AM
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What's done is done. I agree with the other ladies, instead of totally calling it off, I wish you could have altered plans into a different ceremony. Five days before our wedding, we had to cancel due to Hurricane Florence. It was a horrible experience, crying for days, calling people, thinking about all the "stuff" I had and my planning come to an abrupt end. Someone suggested we elope, but have rescheduled and starting the count again. You probably still have all your wedding items/etc., so why not a smaller intimate guest list of "drama-free" friends? It's your decision and whatever you do, even elope, I wish you the best and remember it's YOUR day....enjoy! The MOST important thing is marrying your life partner!
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Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on October 16, 2018 at 11:57 AM
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I’m so very sorry that you’re going through this.

It seems as if you’ve already made up your mind concerning canceling your wedding.

I wish you could have pushed through and found another way.

I know your elopement will be beautiful and I hope you share that new special day with us!

Thoughts and prayers to you and your FH!
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:02 PM
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Farrah, I've not taken anything you've said as rude. I appreciate your comments. Unfortunately, since WW has reminded me that everything written in these forums are readily available to the world wide web and search engines, I'm not willing to divulge exactly what his sister did, but I don't need help with her. She has what she wants at the moment, UNTIL WE ELOPE. 😊

Yes, it is indeed a wedding nightmare!!

We are covering ALL guests out of pocket expenses, so no one should have hurt, or hard, feelings. I think everyone is hoping our elopement is stress free, then most are planning on joining us for our big, beautiful reception.
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Super September 2018
Kristen328 · on October 16, 2018 at 12:08 PM
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I have no advice but just wanted to say I'm sorry you have to go through this. I can't imagine how upset and stressed you must be.
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:12 PM
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Amen! 💕💕Thank you. Will post pics as soon as we receive them. I'm still mourning what was planned, but our elopement will be beautiful and stress free. Yay!! I'm already corresponding with the venue now for Spring 2019. They have a wonderful elopement package. As far as FH's toxic family, my solution is to forgive, but not forget. I will be civil, but the two that caused the problem will never sit down to a holiday meal with me. I don't think I'm being unreasonable under the circumstances. I don't trust them.
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:17 PM
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Thank you, LB. If there were anyway on earth our wedding could have been salvaged, we'd moved heaven and earth to continue. We aren't happy, but content. Having the support of our guests is so uplifting.
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:19 PM
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What a lovely thing to say, Monica!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:21 PM
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Thanks Kristi. Yes, definitely won't leave room for more sabatoge.
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:28 PM
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It truly is insane. Your thoughts are on the scale of what happened. Honestly!! Someone suggested I write a novel. It's a friend and published author. Said it'd make a great read. Maybe after the shock wears off. Thank you.
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Super March 2019
Nisa · on October 16, 2018 at 12:28 PM
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It sounds like you're handling a bad situation with tremendous grace. I hope that however you choose to get married now is wonderful and unique to you.
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:29 PM
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I'm sorry, Megan. I didn't mean to make this the mystery of the day.
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Master April 2023
Victorian Bride · on October 16, 2018 at 12:37 PM
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Thank you so much! We are content with our decision. I appreciate your support.
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Expert September 2019
Kat · on October 16, 2018 at 1:21 PM
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So sorry to hear about the cancellation and the toxic siblings of your FH. I'm glad toy have another plan you're happy with, and you will be married in the end, which is all that mattered. All of our plans are on hold due to hurricane Michael but luckily we have a lot of time to recoup. You're handling the situation with such grace and optimism, and that's great! Hoping you get you're dream elopement at least and good luck with everything else!
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Expert November 2018
Nicole · on October 16, 2018 at 1:22 PM
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I'm so sorry for what happened to you and your FH! I can't even imagine the stress you both must be under to cancel vendors and cover remaining expenses to guests - but I am so excited for you and your FH to elope and celebrate your marriage! It will definitely be an excellent way to turn a new leaf in this next chapter!
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Champion December 2017
earias · on October 16, 2018 at 3:09 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear that and was looking forward to seeing your BAM! I know you put a lot of work in all the little details. I really hope you are able to elope soon and not put it off. Or perhaps you could still get married in FH's church with a small guest list and do the reception on a smaller scale? It could still be lovely and then all the little details could still be used.
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Master October 2018
HayMrsO · on October 16, 2018 at 3:27 PM
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I am SO sorry that you are going through this. I can't imagine how hard of a decision that must have been for you. We are getting married that day. My ex and his family are doing everything they can to try and ruin the day for us by turning my boys against us. It's devastating to me, but I REFUSE to give in. We will go on as planned and what will be, will be at this point.
I hope your elopement is magical!
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