Vow renewal trend

Fh and I are technically married because we are common law and have lived together for over a year (over 2 years by the wedding) as such in entitled to the same benefits I would be entitled to after our wedding. Why are we having a wedding then... To celebrate our love with family and friends.

To each their own. Vow renewals can be seen as many different things such as people reaffirming their vows, celebrating their love for each other. Not necessarily a money grab. As many people have stated its being able to celebrate with family and friends.

OMG your state considers "common law" to be living together for a year. Holy shit. Louisiana is 10 years.

Vow renewal = anniversary celebration. I'm not opposed to them, will definitely attend them, but there's one wedding day.

I can't believe this is such a big deal

My cousins through a suprise vow renewal for my aunt nd uncle at my parents house. They thought they were just meeting my parents to go out to a nice dinner, to celebrate their anniversary, instead, full vowr enewalw ith 150 people there. Thats the kind of thing i think works.

I think vow renewals are fabulous. I don't really care if they are called a wedding, vow renewal, anniversary party etc. If you are having a party to celebrate your love ill gladly be there with a gift. Especially if there's free alcohol.

@WoW - take a deep breath. The context of the word deserve as I was using it is like if I said I "deserve" a home I can't afford bc I want it. Or I "deserve" a three week long Caribbean vacation bc I worked 70 hours this week or whatever.

Know what I mean?

Honestly, my husband and I are Christians and if my parents didn't contribute to our wedding we would have either had out wedding at our church and served cake and punch in the gym there or flown to an island. So please don't question my dedication to God or assume that I would choose a party over Him. He will always win out and it would have been real easy for us to just get married real quick so we could have sex and live together. But we CHOSE to accept my parents money and celebrate with our families so we waited. Just wanted to clarify that as well.

Seriously,

I don't think there's ever a bad time to do your vows over again. Do it as often as you want. Keep the love alive, why the hell not.. there are so many divorces now, live it up. Get renewed as much as you flippin' want. If you have the money, and that's what you want to do, knock yourself out.

I personally have never been to a vow renewal, but I would in a heartbeat even if I went to the original wedding, especially if it is a significant milestone. So many people just focus on the party when they get married originally, and forget what it's TRULY about (the marriage), and then divorce a few years later.

If you didn't get the wedding you really wanted/could afford, and want to do something else later, do it. I think it's inappropriate to compare that to gay marriage being legal, etc. Unfair comparison.

Cont'd:

There's a lot of pressure surrounding weddings. More people want to read about the expensive weddings, and not the courthouse weddings. Both involve marriages, but like any other concept in this country, "bigger"/"more expensive" is always considered "better."

Final thought: No one should ever feel bad b/c of what they can, or cannot spend on their wedding day. I don't think anyone's ultimate dream is to get married in a courthouse.

We will have one... one day far away. However, it will be just me, him, and hopefully our little kids, saying our vows in the Church we are married in- in Italy. It would be a vacation, definitely not the all out wedding we are doing now. I think that is odd to do the big wedding and reception again (but that is for me), but I can understand those that didn't get a big wedding or a wedding of their dreams to do something on a bigger scale. They should by all means! Actually, anybody who can afford too and want it, should as well. Who cares the semantics or what anyone else thinks.

I am doing the big wedding after we get married because I want to celebrate with family and friends.we are only allowed 1 witness which she can't even come due to paperwork. I also don't want my only wedding photo to be a 5 x 7 with FH in his prison uniform.I want to be able to show my future kids us all dressed up an having a good time with family and friends.

I think sometimes people care too much what others do when it doesn't even effect them personally. If you don't care for it don't come. It's pretty simple. Find it odd that's okay. There are plenty that people do that others find different. We shouldn't fear different. So what if someone wants a second wedding, they are paying for it. So what if they want to even call it wedding again does it hurt you physically if they do? We care way too much about what other people do that we forget it's not even about us. If you don't agree with it, that's fine. I mean everyone has their own opinions. I just think that if we would stop being so critical of each other as humans sometimes maybe there would be far less bickering. Sometimes people need to say those words. It's like forgiveness sometimes you have to keep on forgiving over and over. Marriage is the same sometimes you just have to take a moment and say those words again. If it makes them happy who am I to judge?

I am having a vow renew on our originally planned date. My DH and I had a back yard wedding with his family in Sept because she is dying and wanted to see him happily married before she goes. I am not wearing a traditional dress because it is not me. The vows will be spoken because almost nobody but us has heard them or had the chance to celebrate our love and joy. There will be a reception but no dance floor because he hates dancing. This IS my Wedding. I am having a MOH and he has a BM. I am excited. Saying that this is wrong is like saying second marriages are wrong. Celebrating love is glorious. Also we are not registering for gifts as we settled in a life and have everything we need. I deserve to share my life with my closest friends and family as much as any first time bride. the theme is "A Very Merry Un-Wedding" mad hatter tea reception.

Have we been attacked by 4-5 star Not-ies???

Jesus people...this is a hot button topic, and after all the drama lately and all you whiners talking about sunshine and rainbows....yet here y'all are, downing something YOU don't like...

Oh sorry, that's your opinion? Well then, imagine that!!!

@Nay girl please. Don't let no oneness with you. And don't even bother with these threads, simply bc we all know you are a picture of Class, and do not need to defend yoursel against judgmental nay(hehe)-Sayers. And yes I'm serious, I just realized how sarcastic all this could read! And for that I'm sorry!!!

Dude, if a single person can collect cars, when they can only drive one at a time(I'm engaged and were guilty of this!), why can't married couples do the same with THEIR money?! Helloooo, it's obvious people know they're married. As long as they aren't misrepresenting tier current marital status, STFU...

LOL Cheetah2B. You are too funny. Where ya been?

No worries over here. I'm not one to let others' opinions deter me from what I've already decided. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We're doing our vow renewal the way we want to and if it's against so-called "etiquette" so be it

I could see doing a big reception and stuff years later if you did a small court house thing, I'm fine with that, weddings are expensive and if you can't afford it but you still want that experience, I'm fine with that. I prob would do a vow renual, but more like the 25 year mark and just throw a big ass party, I don't think we would repeat our vows cuz vows are for life so I guess it would be more of an anniversary party, no bridesmaids and stuff like that but more of just a reception with food and drinks and a DJ and stuff

My parents did a 25 year vow renual at church, they did it during mass and then after our family and friends went to the church hall for food and drinks and cake, it wasn't a super formal affair, some family came from out of state but only those a few hours away who could drive it, it was really nice but by no means a second wedding at all

I have officiated vow renewals on a variety of anniversaries (1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, 25th, 40th, and 50th for example) and for a variety of reasons (celebrate a milestone, include someone who wasn't present the first time, rededicating themselves to their marriage after an infidelity, reconnecting after a deployment, celebrating a recovery, etc.).

At our 20th anniversary party, DH & I surprised our MOH & BM and guests with a vow renewal celebrating 20 years of thick & thin! I was nervous at our wedding, but more emotional at our vow renewal.

It's funny you said you were nervous Nancy. I'm nervous about our 10 year vow renewal and wasn't nervous when we got married. Maybe because when we got married we just went and did it and now all this is being planned out big time. lol

My husband and I solemized our own marriage in the woods of Colorado. We hiked 3 miles into the wilderness and exchanged vows under a waterfall. We were both dressed in wedding attire.

My father and nieces were upset because

1) he wants to walk me down the aisle

2) they want to be bridesmaids.

So, we are renewing our vows at our reception this summer. We always planned on having a reception this summer, because it is easier and cheaper for people to travel to Colorado in the summer, but now we have included a renewal ceremony as well.

I personally do not see anything wrong with doing it this way, we are having a casual reception and I'm letting my nieces pick out their dresses, PLUS now we can bring our friends and family together to celebrate with us. We will be wearing the wedding attire we bought this summer. I don't think we are cheapening our marriage AT ALL.

I do dozens of them every year for a variety of reasons. The only opinion that matters is the couple getting married.