Vow renewal trend

Agreed. And I don't think you need to give a gift at a vow renewal; if I went to the original wedding, I wouldn't.

I agree about if you had a traumatic event or were separated and got back together, though. It's like a fresh start so I can get behind that.

If I were to ever do anything of the sort, I'd do what you suggested--a rockin' anniversary party! No ceremony, vows, bridal party, etc.

I personally think vow renewals should only happen at big anniversaries (like 10 or 50 years).

Well don't go then. Problem solved. :-)

I'm with you LetItSnow. I really don't like them, the idea, the actions all of them

People can have them but well they just aren't my cup of tea

Especially when (like @Erin) they have all the stuff of an actual wedding

And when they are too close to the actual wedding

@LillyBride: I think you should bring something to a vow renewal because I don't think you should go to a giant party empty handed.

Just because one couple doesn't want a vow renewal doesn't mean other people should (or should not ) do it the same exact way or for the same reasons.

I would love to in 8 years go to a private beach get away and do a vow renewal with just my DH and I and maybe a couple other people if we felt it was appropriate.

ETA: is having the whole big reception thing again (if they already did it) 10 years ago really that common?

My parents are having a vow renewal in May for 40 years. When they got married, they did it on a tight budget and can now afford a big deal. We are friends with our parish priest and he will perform the renewal with dinner at a nice restaurant. They want to celebrate so why not?

I have friends who renew their vows to each other every year. But it is a private thing, usually just the two of them, sometimes some special friends will be there. I got to be their for the 7th, it was fun. They sometimes will put on their original wedding clothes sometimes they just stand in their living room and repeat their vows to eachother.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of vow renewals done very close to a big wedding wedding.. it just seems a bit gift grabby to me. Or when it's a well known fact the couple had a large or lavish wedding 5 or so years before. At least wait till a major milestone to renew if you really must and have already had the big party for the original wedding.

However, vow renewals called as such simply because the couple didn't do a big wedding - I've no problem with seeing a WP there or bringing the same sort of gift I would have brought to a wedding. Such as in the case of Leanne's parents above.

@Eleanor, I agree with you there. I mean so much as a "wedding gift" though. I'm not going to shell out like I would for a wedding present. At the very least I'd pick up a card to wish them well and a bottle of wine for hosting, but I'd treat it like a party, not a wedding. If I go to someone's birthday party I don't buy them a $150 gift, so if I've already gone to their wedding and they decide on a vow renewal just to have another wedding, I wouldn't treat it the same.

@Leanne, see that sounds sweet. Same with your friends @Mrs Drakthal. That's more of an anniversary thing. I think what LetItSnow was talking about, and definitely what I mean, is more of the Pretty Pretty Princess Day where someone wants to have another wedding for the fun of it. Anniversary party, hell yeah! But like @Poppet said, it seems gift grabby to have a big wedding and then follow it up with another one a few years later.

I'm the same. I would bring them a bottle of wine and a card but I don't want to be expected to give a gift as if I'm trying to help them get off on their own feet.

Well said Erin! I honestly thought vow renewals were done when people hit the "land mark years" of their marriage like 20, 30, 40, 50 and so on. I've learned differently after being on ww.

My sister plans on doing a vow renewal on her 5th wedding anniversary in 2015, but that's because she never did the big wedding. Her husband is military and they got married at the JP, just the two of them, with no fanfare. She's going to do a 5-year renewal so that the family can celebrate with the two of them since no one got a chance to and we're almost never together (the family is scattered around). My family will all be getting together for my wedding at least, but we've still never met a single member of his family aside from him. I support her doing this because a) it lets people get together to celebrate them, b) they haven't already had a big party, c) she's not treating it like a wedding with bridal party and everything. They may even skip the vows and just do an anniversary party, but either way I'm behind it.

I have zero idea whether I would do a vow renewal- I can't imagine myself doing it, as some people said, unless there was some moving reason, like a tragedy or separation. But, if I did, I would definitely put "No Gifts" or something to that extent on the invitations, and it would be very small and intimate- maybe that is where I would do a destination type thing.

The point of gifts at a wedding is that you are preparing this couple to start a household. At a renewal, they already have a household, and many times kids. Why in the world would someone expect wedding type gifts? If I did bring something, it would be a toKen type thing- probably something you would bring to a dinner party- maybe a bottle of wine with a hand made label commemorating the renewal and original date?

I am having a vow renewal .We eloped because of school/ financial reasons . We are doing it on out 2 year wedding anniversary I dont think there is anything wrong with it . It is going to be OUr WEDding and we are doing all the wedding thing but all the before parties . I didnt get a weddings and my husband wants it to

I had a friend that had a huge wedding, huge registry, an extreme bridezilla have a wedding. Two years later she decides to have a huge vow renewal, two wedding dresses, 10 bridesmaids, another huge registry. Those are the things I hate. Your vows don't expire so they are pointless. I didn't go to hers. She got angry but she was such a bridezilla for her vow renewal too. I heard the "IT"S MY DAY!!" about ten times. I told her "no it's not, it's not a wedding this is a cry for attention and i'm not giving it to you"

Wait, so people have vow renewals but, treat it like a real wedding?

I've never heard of this. I thought the couple, on like a 20th, 30th, 40th etc, anniversary would just take a vacation somewhere and redo their vows privately.

Having a second wedding is commom?

I agree with those who find it really weird to treat it like a wedding. how do you have a "first dance" with your husband when you've been married for a year? and why would you have "brides" maids if you are already a wife? it just seems so odd and artifical to me. just have the party. a huge blowout wedding is not a right. you don't "deserve" it. if you decided to have a courthouse wedding, congratulations! That's your wedding. have a party to celebrate it later, but don't pretend that you're not already married when you are a) already reaping the financial benefits of being married and b) already got to do what so many same-sex couples are FIGHTING for the right do.

don't cheapen the courthouse/legal marriage to play dress up and put on a play for your friends and family. just have the celebration of your marriage, buy a fun cocktail dress and party

Im legally married now, had no one there except one witness to sign. our kids were not a part of it and we really didnt plan on making a "wedding" till we could afford it. Now we can. Whats the big deal?!?! Were renewing our vows and paying for it oursleves. Im wearing a wedding dress YES and doing it all.. except bridal showers and all the before things.. I think he deserves to see me in a wedding dress and we both deserve to have a celebration of our love with those we love.