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futuremrswmh
Super October 2018

Vent! FH's divorce was never finalized!!!

futuremrswmh, on May 31, 2017 at 2:43 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 162

My FH was previously married and left his ex in June of 2015 and filed for divorce later that month. By November of 2015 they had gone to court and received temporary orders for everything (split of property, custody of their child, etc). His ex and her attorney were responsible for drawing up the...

My FH was previously married and left his ex in June of 2015 and filed for divorce later that month. By November of 2015 they had gone to court and received temporary orders for everything (split of property, custody of their child, etc). His ex and her attorney were responsible for drawing up the final divorce decree. Two years later and less than 5 months from our wedding and we just found out his divorce was never finalized...and his ex knew the whole time and kept it that way. FH is in the wrong for not checking in with his attorney but he received a draft of the divorce decree and assumed it was done...all that was missing was his exs signature and then she had to go before the judge with FHs attorney once she signed.

ETA: the issue is that the ex, or I guess current wife, has made it clear she plans to make it difficult. She has even taken to social media sayin. "Ps we are still married so good luck with the wedding" with a big smiley emoji

162 Comments

  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
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    You need to see an attorney YESTERDAY!

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  • Melaina
    Super November 2017
    Melaina ·
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    Wow........That's awful. Hopefully you can push it through quickly or else go to the courthouse after your wedding to make it legal but it still sucks.

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  • Candace-Marie
    Devoted October 2017
    Candace-Marie ·
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    Hold steady things will work out. Don't let her see you sweat. Women like this are just miserable. She's trying to take your joy. Once you receive confirmation of the divorce make sure you check the officiaIl court records. Is there anything you can offer to get her to sign the divorce papers? Maybe have it in your back pocket you may have to use it. She sound like a greedy B. Good Luck. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

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  • Meagen
    VIP October 2017
    Meagen ·
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    Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

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  • Chanta
    Expert July 2017
    Chanta ·
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    From what i here most times you have to do it in the state of what you filed the divorce in not to scare you but that's mostly what happens hopefully you get a resolved quickly and you guys can be happy sorry she such an ass but that's what happens when you deal with people that are ignorant

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  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    OP You seem incredibly strong. It's ok to break down a little about this, but it's not the end of the world. At the end of the day, you and FH will be committed to each other. If guests think it's odd, F 'em. You and FH are doing the best you can with a crappy situation. I'm a firm believer that couples can work through anything if they are open, honest and willing to put in hard work. Good luck proceeding with the wedding and finding a new attorney.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    @Karen- If the child is going to be living with her Dad full time, she'll also be living with OP full time. That makes it THEIR custody case. Not just his.

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  • MoreMoore
    VIP November 2017
    MoreMoore ·
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    Oh man. This just plain sucks. From my past experience, with an ex who refused to sign papers, it dragged out for an additional 18 months. The courts absolutely can grant a divorce without consent of one party (a default case), but it takes many attempts at getting them to do so first. I hate to be the Debbie downer here, but if she refuses to sign, you may be in for a long haul. My ex even appealed the decision once the default was granted. That took another 30 days. Everything seems to work in 30-60 day increments. If you get papers served to her asap, and she signs, I'd leave your date, but if she doesn't respond, I'd honestly just concede and push your date back, as much as it sucks... god I'm so pissed for you right now.

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  • Sylphier
    Super June 2017
    Sylphier ·
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    OP wow this sucks for you so much and I'm sorry this is happening. Exs can be just downright awful. My ex, who I was never even married to but we have a son together, won't even allow me to move out of the county I currently live in - by our state laws he has to approve any and all moves outside the original county and he refuses to even when it's good for my son and me. The kicker is, he doesn't even live in this STATE but still gets to say where I can live... He hasn't seen my son in nearly 2 years.

    I would contact the clerks office in the area the divorce is being filed in, and explain the issue. Maybe since he filed so long ago - even though its partly his fault for not making sure the final stuff was done - that maybe they can bypass the waiting period if there is proof he's been living apart from her for so long and that the divorce was filed so long ago. Its worth a try even if its unlikely, because you may get a sympathetic judge who will want to help you out.

    I agree with everyone who said not to push your wedding date just because of her. That is what she wants and even if you have to do a commitment ceremony instead of traditional wedding ceremony it will be worth it to show that she can not win this no matter how big of a tantrum she throws. I also agree that you really need a new lawyer because no lawyer should have just left this divorce sit unfinished for so so long.

    I hope you can get a happy resolution or at least a workable one. Best of luck.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    Thanks for all the feedback everyone! One minute I'm fine and the next I'm on the verge of breaking down.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    I 100% agree that he is at fault for not checking in on things. But it is just so frustrating that two years later and I have no idea what will happen now

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  • hannahdee
    Super June 2018
    hannahdee ·
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    This is literally a nightmare. I am so sorry!! What a snake lady

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  • love8432
    Super May 2018
    love8432 ·
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    Oh my gosh, whattt??

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  • Future Mrs.Hendriksen
    Expert September 2017
    Future Mrs.Hendriksen ·
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    Umm I'd be calling the attorney asap. How can she make it difficult if everything has already been decided on?

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  • Kira
    Super March 2017
    Kira ·
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    I am so sorry for you, OP. That woman is so fucked up for using her child as pawn in all of this. Sending you prayers and hugs. Please keep us updated. We are all here for you.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    I have no idea what to expect from her. She will try and pull something.

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  • Kelly M.
    Super October 2016
    Kelly M. ·
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    If his lawyer dropped the ball, you should report him/her to the state bar association.

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  • Willbewilkins
    Expert December 2017
    Willbewilkins ·
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    Sounds like a lousy attorney. I'm so sorry you guys are having to go through this OP.

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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    Erin, even if the child lived with his dad full time, it still would not be "our" custody case. But I don't see OP trying to say anything like that.

    I would warn OP that 400 a month for child support is not high. If her FH's income increases and his ex's does not, I can see that going up. The ex can easily file for a review in most places.

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  • Jesi
    Dedicated June 2018
    Jesi ·
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    What is the attorney saying your options are? Did they say it's possible to get it finalized before the wedding day?

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