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futuremrswmh
Super October 2018

Vent! FH's divorce was never finalized!!!

futuremrswmh, on May 31, 2017 at 2:43 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 162

My FH was previously married and left his ex in June of 2015 and filed for divorce later that month. By November of 2015 they had gone to court and received temporary orders for everything (split of property, custody of their child, etc). His ex and her attorney were responsible for drawing up the...

My FH was previously married and left his ex in June of 2015 and filed for divorce later that month. By November of 2015 they had gone to court and received temporary orders for everything (split of property, custody of their child, etc). His ex and her attorney were responsible for drawing up the final divorce decree. Two years later and less than 5 months from our wedding and we just found out his divorce was never finalized...and his ex knew the whole time and kept it that way. FH is in the wrong for not checking in with his attorney but he received a draft of the divorce decree and assumed it was done...all that was missing was his exs signature and then she had to go before the judge with FHs attorney once she signed.

ETA: the issue is that the ex, or I guess current wife, has made it clear she plans to make it difficult. She has even taken to social media sayin. "Ps we are still married so good luck with the wedding" with a big smiley emoji

162 Comments

  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    Ugh! I'm so sorry OP. I agree to just go along with your plans and get married after if you have to wait 60 days. I really hope the ex doesn't pull anything with the daughter the day of the wedding. Keep us posted. Wishing you the best.

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  • Fall bride 17 - 2.0
    VIP October 2017
    Fall bride 17 - 2.0 ·
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    Pursue a new lawyer if you can, I went through a very long divorce process myself. It took me finding a new lawyer and calling for weekly updates (I was extremely polite when I called, but assertive) and thankfully got it done. Let an expert sort out this mess for you and your FH! Best wishes for an expedited final divorce decree!

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  • Blair Waldorf
    Master October 2017
    Blair Waldorf ·
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    I thought if you weren't the side serving papers, you had to sign the divorce decree...how would you not realize you didn't sign that?

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    FH filed for divorce and he had signed the papers already. She did not sign the final papers and her attorney, herself, and FHs attorney never appeared before the judge to have it all finalized. Trust me, I don't understand how he didn't realize this, but then again, his lawyer made it seem like it was a done deal.

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  • E.V.
    VIP November 2017
    E.V. ·
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    I'm sorry, OP. People can be so ugly, and it is especially unfortuante that his should-be-ex is acting the way she is during what should otherwise be a happy time for you. Keep us updated. We are all here for you.

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  • Joy
    Super June 2017
    Joy ·
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    I'm sorry

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    Thanks all of you for the advice and feedback. I just wish this was a bad dream.

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  • Mrs Abbey
    VIP July 2017
    Mrs Abbey ·
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    My sister and her husband of 22 years had this same thing happen to them many years ago. My BIL thought his divorce was final in GA and he and my sister married in KY only to find out days after that he was legally still married in GA. HIs attorney finalized the papers and got it completed and they went to the court house and remarried a couple months later. It all worked out and yours will too. Prayers

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  • MAMW
    VIP August 2013
    MAMW ·
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    "Daddy can't marry Jasmine because Mommy is his wife and he should be with us"

    That is literally the grossest fucking thing. It takes a next level type of awful person to manipulate a child against their parent like that. I wish you had records of THAT type of stuff to show a judge.

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  • ReneeEdward
    VIP November 2017
    ReneeEdward ·
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    Trade, I'll deal with his ex if youll deal with mine. Lol My ex tells everyone that I'm a homeless drug addict that isn't in the kids lives! (Never had a drug issue, I have a bigger home than him, and I have the kids the most). Pick your poison. Lol kidding of course

    Ex's are usually horrible to deal with. Make sure you keep a paper trail if needed, do as much as you can via text (vs phone calls), screenshot what you can, make sure you two show a united front when incomes to her, and find a better lawyer.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    He left when their daughter was a year because she not only cheated on him through her whole pregnancy but continued to do so after the baby was born. She would drop their daughter at her grandparents and go see the man she was cheating with 3-4 times a week.

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  • Blair Waldorf
    Master October 2017
    Blair Waldorf ·
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    Ok so still confused, how did he sign papers her lawyer was drawing up but never actually did?

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    His ex never signed the papers and his ex and FHs attorney were supposed to go before the judge to have it finalized. His attorney never informed him of this. He thought his ex had signed and that was it

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  • R&B2016
    VIP October 2016
    R&B2016 ·
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    I know you said you're doing it - but DOCUMENT. All texts, emails, Facebook rants involving you and the child. Get a NEW ATTORNEY immediately and contact the current attorney to see WHY this has not been followed up on. You need to get an appointment with a judge/attorney within the next few weeks to discuss next steps.

    So sorry you're going through this, just keep in mind these things take time to go through. My parents recently got divorced and the papers sat on the judges desk for 3 months before they were signed.

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  • L
    Super July 2018
    LibbyLane ·
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    Oh my goodness... She seems like a real peach.

    I really hope you guys get this all worked out. Not only for the sake of the wedding, but for that poor little girl. Being manipulated like that by her own mother is horrible.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    Thanks

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    FH and I have agreed to have a religious ceremony on our already set date since we have already sent STDs, paid vendors, etc. we will do all the legal paperwork once we reach the end of the waiting period. Does that make us awful people?

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  • L
    Super July 2018
    LibbyLane ·
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    The only awful person is his Ex, IMO. If you feel like you'll feel guilty about it, maybe talk to your vendors and see if you can move your deposits to a different date? Personally, I wouldn't worry about it.

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  • Sabrina
    Super August 2017
    Sabrina ·
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    Wow

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  • kahlcara
    Master August 2013
    kahlcara ·
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    I don't think it makes you horrible people, but it also means you won't be legally married. If you're still planning a religious ceremony, I would make triply sure that your religious officiant is ok with this plan. Personally, I would push it out.

    My understanding as someone who works in family law (not a lawyer yet and this is not legal advice) is that since the divorce is in OK, it won't be final until the Oklahoma waiting period is over regardless of where you are getting married. Otherwise your FH would be married to a different person depending on what state he's in. So even if Ex signs the papers tomorrow, which she's clearly not going to do, the divorce wouldn't be final until December.

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