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futuremrswmh
Super October 2018

Vent! FH's divorce was never finalized!!!

futuremrswmh, on May 31, 2017 at 2:43 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 162

My FH was previously married and left his ex in June of 2015 and filed for divorce later that month. By November of 2015 they had gone to court and received temporary orders for everything (split of property, custody of their child, etc). His ex and her attorney were responsible for drawing up the...

My FH was previously married and left his ex in June of 2015 and filed for divorce later that month. By November of 2015 they had gone to court and received temporary orders for everything (split of property, custody of their child, etc). His ex and her attorney were responsible for drawing up the final divorce decree. Two years later and less than 5 months from our wedding and we just found out his divorce was never finalized...and his ex knew the whole time and kept it that way. FH is in the wrong for not checking in with his attorney but he received a draft of the divorce decree and assumed it was done...all that was missing was his exs signature and then she had to go before the judge with FHs attorney once she signed.

ETA: the issue is that the ex, or I guess current wife, has made it clear she plans to make it difficult. She has even taken to social media sayin. "Ps we are still married so good luck with the wedding" with a big smiley emoji

162 Comments

  • NautiBride2018
    VIP June 2018
    NautiBride2018 ·
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    I wonder if there's something you can do about that child support money? Since they aren't legally separated, he shouldn't have been having to pay child support I would think. I'm sorry this is happening! Get this straightened out, and quite honestly, I'd see if the child support payments could stop until she signs those papers. Not sure if that's a thing though.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    Child support was set in their temporary orders. So I doubt there's anything we can do about that.

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  • P
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
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    @nautibride2018

    It's not a good idea to potentially punish a child (by possibly not paying child support) for spite's sake.

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  • NautiBride2018
    VIP June 2018
    NautiBride2018 ·
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    @Powers you're right, for some reason I was thinking OP and her FH had the child. My bad!

    OP I hope everything is figured out nonetheless.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    Nope, the child's mother has her, for now. Which makes this situation even more tricky. She is already telling their 3 year old daughter that "daddy can't marry jasmine because mommy is his wife and he should be with us"

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  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    I'm not a lawyer but I know that legal separation and divorce are two separate entities. Also, if there is a support plan in place and the parent who is suppose to pay doesn't, that can end up biting them in the arse.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    He filed for divorce in June 2015. I can even look it up online under their county and it says that they had a divorce case and there was a temporary divorce order put in place.

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  • Kiera
    Expert September 2017
    Kiera ·
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    You need to hire a lawyer ASAP! Start looking girl! Do you or FH have an divorced friends or colleagues who can recommend someone? ETA call your county clerk of courts. They should be able to tell you how this will affect you upcoming wedding and what needs to be done.

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  • E
    Expert October 2018
    Emily ·
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    what a petty b*tch. Ugh. Stuff like that drives me crazy. But most divorces take anywhere from 30 to 90 days

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    It just blows my mind that I've stepped up and done everything I could and she has known this all along and chose to act this way. When she needed child support early (she had a concert trip planned) and we thought it was for the child, I used my check to pay her and missed out on certain things I would've loved to do. When she wants us to take her daughter an extra weekend because she has plans...guess who watches her because FH works. It just blows my mind that people can be this hateful and vindictive.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    I also want to make it clear that I was not the reason for their split. He left in June 2015 and I came around a year later in 2016. Yet she tries to tell her family and her daughter I was a home wrecker because her husband is with me

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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    OP - have you called the county you are getting married in to see what the wait period is after the divorce is final. I realize you're dealing with 2 different states here, but I would think the county you obtain your license from could answer any questions you have. Good luck!

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    In our county it is 60 days.

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  • D
    Dedicated September 2019
    Dominique ·
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    Wow

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  • #MscoopedL
    Devoted October 2017
    #MscoopedL ·
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    Some exs can be just terrible and petty. Kill her with kindness and focus on loving that little girl. Get the court stuff sorted out and party your heart out at your reception. It will all work out.

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  • AwkwardToBe
    VIP September 2017
    AwkwardToBe ·
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    Ugh. I hate when people use kids as pawns to get back at their exes. Her behavior is disgusting. You should be documenting all interactions with her. I hope things turn out well.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    I try to tell myself I know that she's trying to get under my skin but it's so hard not to break down. I just want to move forward with our life together and marry the love of my life. But right now all I want to do is cry because I feel like , even though they were separated a year before I came alone, I'm just "the other woman"

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    That's disgusting!! "Daddy can't marry Jasmine because Mommy is his wife and he should be with us". That poor child!!

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    Yeah. It's heartbreaking because my parents did that shit when they divorced and I was a kid (same age as the daughter) and I still have resentment towards my parents to this day. She got mad because her daughter was talking about how she got her "pink flower dress for daddy's wedding". That's when her mom posted on fb about them still being married.

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  • futuremrswmh
    Super October 2018
    futuremrswmh ·
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    I screenshot everything and print it and put it in a file as we are currently trying to put together a custody case against her.

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