Vegan Wedding--Rude? Experiences?

@Silverlava could you tell the bride/groom that you are allergic to tomatoes and mushroom (even if mushroom isn't an allergy) to see if they can provide a choice without them?

I will say this, if someone is having a dry wedding for the reason I stated then I do somewhat expect the budget they're saving on alcohol to go towards some awesome ass food.

I went to a ceremony once and for the dinner it was vegan Mexican. I was every skeptical but it turned out to be rather good.

In saying that, I was freaked out at first. I didn't know it would all be vegan. I would have appreciated a meal that catered to more than just the guests of honor.

Jacks, I think the inconsistency comes from the advice on this forum. If a poster were to say that they find alcohol morally objectionable and they were going to have a dry wedding, the other users on this site would (rightfully) point out that unless your wedding guests are all teetotalers, this would be very poor hosting. They would point out that not all guests would agree with the hosts moral opinions, and therefore alcohol would need to be served.

I don't see much difference between this and a dry wedding.

So the couple finds animal products morally objectionable, but obviously not all their guests do. Therefore, according to the usual wisdom given on this site, the hosts should provide meals with animal products for their guests. I find nothing wrong with eating animal products, and would not appreciate having the hosts' beliefs thrust on me. I would feel the same way if I was a guest at a dry wedding.

Who says they will be hungry, Kim? Only your own preconceived notions of what a "vegan meal" looks like. You possibly have not had enough experience in this area to pre-judge a hypothetically boring meal.

For the record, I'm not even vegan.

^They have, they provided 4 choices. Also IMO it's a dick move to say you're allergic to something just because you don't like it ETA: @Teamgrz

@ALC what about Islam or LDS...

Paige L. please be inclusive, not everyone here comes in sets of "bride and groom".

Simply serving a vegan meal is not thrusting beliefs on anyone. Any more than a Kosher or Halal meal. That's what you're not understanding.

Yes, Kay, it's a "kind" of hosting. I could afford to go; I wouldn't. If I take my very limited non-working time and money to spend a day or more at an event, I expect that the couple would accommodate more than their personal alignments.

This is a really an unsolvable issue. I don't think OP is being picky, I do think the couple in question is being rude, or at least exclusive, and I'll leave it at that. The decision is hers to go or not.

I don't think this is rude per se, but I do think it's weird. I also agree with @StPaulGirl that if this is a matter of personal conviction and morals for the couple (to the extent it resembles, say, religious conviction), then it would be weird and perhaps unreasonable for the couple to violate those morals/convictions just because some guests prefer meat.

That said, I agree that they maybe should have found a caterer that uses responsibly sourced meats. But I guess it depends what their objection to meat/animal products is. If it's environmental, responsibly raised local meat should be okay. If it's an animal rights thing... no.

I didn't say it was boring. There have been multiple comments about how vegan catering can be done well or horribly wrong.

@Jacks, sorry, I thought that the OP had stated the hosts were a bride and groom. That is why I used that terminology

And I do find it to be thrusting their beliefs upon me. But that is just my opinion.

Comparing a dry wedding to a meatless wedding is also a false equivalency.

Meat is not a social lubricant. It's something many people enjoy to eat. It's not a necessary component to enjoy a social event.

Paige L, you may be correct. I may have misread.

Jacks, I am not sure if I am, but I don't want to re-read all the comments again! I changed it, I did not mean to offend anyone or be exclusive. My apologies.

Kim, well I'm not sure why you think the guests will be hungry then It sounds an awful lot like prejudgement. Vegan people serving vegan food is not being preachy. Just the same as someone of the Jewish faith serving a Kosher meal is not preachy. You're really sounding like you're just putting a value judgement on veganism in general.

And also, if you are a wedding guest, you are not a toddler. You are capable of trying different foods. Four choices should be MORE than enough.

Alcohol isn't a necessary component to enjoy a social event either. Does it help? Sure, in some cases but it isn't necessary.

To clarify, as long as I'm being fed catered food that's less likely to make me sick, I don't care what it is. In the words of FH, 'as long as he has something to drink, he doesn't care if there's alcohol or not.'

Honestly, I see both sides of it, but I wouldn't be bothered by it.

It all comes down to offering your guests options to choose from. And with four vegan meal options? There's definitely going to be something for everyone.

And that also applies to the dry wedding vs vegan wedding argument.

I truly believe there's at least one vegan meal out there that someone who isn't vegan will like. You provide the options, they'll most likely be happy with their final choice.

Likewise with alcohol, if you provide beverage options, those who want alcohol can have alcohol and those who don't can drink other beverages.

And as previously mentioned, if they're (couple + guests) are all (every single one) morally opposed to alcohol for religious reasons, there's always a cake and punch reception.

If the rule to real estate is location, location, location, then I think the rule here should be options, options, options.

AL you keep posting the same wrong argument. I grew up in a Muslim household. The belief is that it's a sin to drink it or serve it to anyone else as you are contributing to their "sin." You can argue about it all you want, but as previous posters have pointed out to you, many believe this about their own religion.

@Jacks the difference between beef and chicken is that they are hosting some type of meat dish. With a vegan menu, you're eliminating all dairy and all meat. I have a friend who is a vegetarian. Not for religious reasons, but for health reasons (and she has no health problems currently). Would it have been appropriate for me to not provide her a veggie dinner at my wedding? I mean, she technically CAN eat meat. She chooses not to (and it isn't a moral objection; it's a health one). Of course not. That would be rude. It's the same thing here. You cater to what your guests will like, which is why we share our menus with one another. If your guests like meat, you should have at least one meat option.