Vegan Wedding--Rude? Experiences?

I feel like it's rude to serve something the vast minority eats. If the bride and groom like it, they should have the caterer make a vegan entree for themselves. Idk, that's just me. My mom has a severe allergy to gluten, which is in almost EVERYTHING! So I will have her own appetizers, dinner, and dessert.

Gotcha Holly, we're all good.

And @Kay? With the cost of attending weddings what they are? It's not rude on the guests' part to expect some kind of actual hosting.

@Stephanie It could be argued that serving alcohol can cause harm. No, not to an animal and it is a could be versus a definite in the case of meat. People constantly drive under the influence or their personalities completely change while drinking which can both lead to harmful situations for the individual or for someone else. I realize that for humans it's a choice to drink. However, I don't think it's okay (my own personal opinion-- not criticizing anyone) to argue that one person can serve or not serve something because of moral and ethical reason and another person can't. To me, if it's against a persons morals and ethics to serve something, no matter what it is, then they shouldn't be guilted or picked on for not serving it.

@OGA I worked with a guy who really liked vegan meals. He would share them with me when he would come to work. I was surprised to find out that I actually liked tofu. I honestly think people should be more opened to trying new things. I mean, if someone has an allergy then obviously don't eat the food but otherwise try new things.

I'm paleo and leaning towards vegan but I wouldn't make my guest eat the way I eat, that's completely rude.

OP, you do know that vegans eat a lot more than tofu and vegetables, right?

Ehhhhhh..... This goes both ways. It is not the end of the world if you don't like the food you are being served. They are providing food for you. You can go without meat for 1 night lol. I'm not a vegan or a vegetarian but I would just eat what I could and grab something on the way home. Not a big deal!

@stpaulgal, but you put it so much more eloquently!

@bobbi I totally get what you're saying, though I'm still going to stand by the fact that ultimately, whether or not a guest drinks and (god forbid!) makes damaging decisions is ultimately a choice. The animals who are being harmed in the other scenario had no choice in the matter

(Note: I'm not a vegan, just totally empathize)

I don't think hosting a good catered vegan meal or buffet is rude. It's the same as a couple that has religious restrictions hosting a meal but within the limits of their faith. I think that's OK.

It's certainly rude not to serve food at all. That, in my mind, is similar to a dry wedding.

I don't think it's rude at all. They're still feeding you. It might not be your personal preference of food, but I guarantee there were people at my wedding who would have preferred something other than short ribs, chicken, or vegetable napoleon. I don't really get people comparing this to not serving alcohol, it's not like they're saying oh we're vegan so we're not going to serve food at all. The way I see it is like they're not serving you preferred brand of beer/wine/liquor, but they're still serving something.

ETA: and it's not the same as you offering a vegetarian/vegan meal at your wedding unless you have a moral objection to not eating an animal/animal product with every single meal

This subject always exposes the hypocrisy of a few on this forum (not everyone as some are consistent).

When someone posts about religious reasons for excluded alcohol, they are judged and told it's rude by many. They are told they must have a cake and punch reception. But vegan? Knock yourself out. Why don't vegan weddings have to be cake and punch? Why are vegan dinners perfectly fine?

Those who are consistent are the posters I tend to agree with anyway, but many will change their opinion when the subject shifts.

My opinion? Rude AF. The reception is for your guests, not for you. Don't dictate to them what they should or should not eat.

@Richard, I think that people see vegan and Halal/Kosher differently. At a Halal or Kosher wedding, you aren't eliminating whole swaths of food groups from your guests, only a few select foods. Vegan weddings are cutting huge amounts of foods that people normally eat and would expect to be served at a meal.

Just my thoughts!

ETA: I agree with you Elizabeth.

@SPG You responded as I was typing. I see both sides of the argument here and I do recognize that there is a third party in the case of a vegan. However, a persons moral convictions whether they be against the use and consumption of animal products, alcohol, pork, or anything at all should be taken into consideration. Asking someone to go against their moral and ethical (I need new words) beliefs is asking a lot of them, in my opinion.

This would be incredibly annoying to me, but I don't think it's rude. If a recovering alcoholic didn't want booze at their wedding, I would absolutely understand and respect that, but I'd probably stop for a drink on the way home. The vegan thing can be thought of as the same if they feel that strongly about it.

However, I would most likely eat a decent snack at home and keep peanut butter crackers in my purse just in case.

Also, what kind of vegan food is there? I'm happy to eat a salad or veggies, or something that isn't supposed to have animal products in it in the first place, but "vegan food" is gross to me. No tofu or fake meat please.

This got interesting

Food is food. I don't care what I'm served as long as its a hot catered meal. It can be vegan, kosher, halal, don't care. (Within the confines of allergies)

If you don't serve me food or self-cater, it's like not serving me alcohol (i.e. dry wedding). I don't see where it's inconsistent at all.

@Celia, it is a kind of hosting. They are serving food. Whether its GOOD food or not is completely subjective. If you can't afford to go to a wedding then don't go. Don't go and then expect all your costs to be equal to your particular satisfaction over something like the food.

@Elizabeth, it's not hypocrisy. There is no religion that says it is wrong to serve alcohol.

As a caterer, I produced an engagement party for one of the most prestigious (at the time) kosher caterers in our area (he didn't want to do it himself.)

The first thing he asked for was 3000 shrimp (which I thought was kinda funny since he gave me an exact count...)

I'm always on team always have booze and always have an assortment of food.

It feels like there is judging people for being vegan. I know it elicits an eye roll these days, but in my mind vegan food is FOOD. You're not depriving your guests.

What if I go to a wedding expecting beef and they give me chicken? Is that rude?

The wedding will also be boring and end early if most of the guests are still hungry after dinner.