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Silverlava
VIP September 2017

Vegan Wedding--Rude? Experiences?

Silverlava, on March 14, 2017 at 1:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 240
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So I've just recieved the invite to a wedding that is, evidently, entirely vegan! (Not even vegetarian, vegan) Myself and my fiance have bent over backwards to make sure they will have vegan options available at our wedding when they attend, but now I'm rather anxious about their wedding. There's a limited number of veggies I like to eat, if I'm being honest. FH and I will likely have to grab food on the way home. Anyways, has anyone else experienced this? Is it rude not to provide food your guests will like, or am I just being picky?

240 Comments

Latest activity by Kathia, on February 5, 2018 at 11:40 AM
  • OceanDreamin
    Expert July 2017
    OceanDreamin ·
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    As a vegetarian I find this VERY rude. I hate when there is not vegetarian food provided so why would I make people coming to my wedding eat vegetarian? Not ok.

  • Rachel
    Savvy July 2017
    Rachel ·
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    I think it's rude. A lot of people who aren't vegan will make sure there are vegetarian or vegan options for their guests, like you an your FH did. So why would they think it's okay to force their guests to eat according to their own diet? Like if I was on a smoothie diet I wouldn't just serve smoothies at my wedding lol it's definitely rude.

  • Ana
    Dedicated September 2017
    Ana ·
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    Yes it is rude. The reception is for the guests so it should accommodate them.. especially with vegan which MOST people are not.

    I'd be annoyed as I can't stand vegan food I have tried it several times and never have I liked it, it simply does not fill me up.

  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    If you feel that the use of animal products is immoral, it makes perfect sense not to serve those things to your guests.

    Are there really grown-ass adults out there who refuse to eat their vegetables? Isn't that something people get over by age 3-5?

  • klowry
    Expert October 2017
    klowry ·
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    Yeah I am not a fan of this. It goes both ways. Seeing as you have done everything you can to make them comfortable at your wedding, you would rightfully expect them same done for you. A wedding shouldn't be a place where you are shoving your views down peoples throats.

  • CuteNickname
    Super July 2017
    CuteNickname ·
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    If they have really strong convictions, I guess it's almost a religious belief. Like LDS folks not having alcohol at their weddings. Or Muslims.

    Why should they have to change their principles for their wedding day? Yes, they want to be good hosts... but there are vegans out there who firmly believe that the entire animal industry is horrific and they cannot in good conscience support it. Even for their wedding day.

    It would be like me shortening my Catholic wedding mass to accommodate people who are bored or annoyed by how long it is.

    Yeah, it sucks... but I don't know that it's "rude". They probably figure that anyone who is really bothered by it can stay home.

  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    It depends what they are serving, I think. I eat more meat than anyone I know, but there's a few of vegan restaurants that I go to, and find plenty of things on the menu that are delicious. Vegan doesn't just mean vegetables. They have all sort of foods that are delicious. it definitely wouldn't be my idea of the best hosting, but I hope you'll be able to find something.

  • Anne
    Master April 2017
    Anne ·
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    I think they could have found a caterer who only uses responsibly sourced animal products. Then they wouldn't be going completely against their morals but still would have properly hosted their guests.

    ETA: words

  • Melissa
    Master March 2018
    Melissa ·
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    I think it's rude on the point of they expect there to be options for them, so why wouldn't they treat their guests the same.

    But. FH and I experiment with vegan food once a week. It's not all "veggies" (please grow up, you're an adult). I've had vegan Mac and cheese, pizza, sandwiches (they weren't straight veggies), tacos (amazing!!). And every time I fill up and it's not the gross bloated full feeling.

    My point is. Yes, it's rude to not consider your guests. But you need to broaden your horizons at the same time. It's not all broccoli and tofu.

  • APD
    VIP July 2017
    APD ·
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    I think it's rude. Why would you press your dietary decisions on your guests?

  • Samtoine2017
    VIP May 2017
    Samtoine2017 ·
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    I'm not vegan, and there's definitely some foods I can't stand (tofu is disgusting no matter how you prepare it) but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you won't like the food or that the food will be gross. Personally, I don't find it rude. Falls under "Jews and Muslims don't serve pork, Hindus don't serve beef, Mormons don't serve alcohol, and vegans don't serve animal products." Obviously it's your prerogative to decide whether or not you would attend any of these types of weddings. Go, attend with an open mind, and have fun.

  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
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    @StPaulGal, anothet difficulty I see here is that some, like myself, may be allergic to commonly used items in vegan meals (i.e., treenuts, soy). So I would probably be only able to eat plain vegetables and startches with no protien option.

  • Silverlava
    VIP September 2017
    Silverlava ·
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    I dont enjoy mushrooms, so entree #1 (a bbq grilled Portobello) is out. I am allergic to tomatoes, so entree 2 is out (a veggie lasagna). I've had tofu many times before, and I know I dont like it, so entree 3 is out (it was fried or grilled tofu, cant remember now). Entree four was the only one I could eat (veggie stuffed peppers). Its not a matter of "adults won't eat their veggies," it's that I want to not be hungry.

  • Bethyonce
    Master February 2015
    Bethyonce ·
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    Eh. I don't think that it is that rude. If it is due to ethical or religious reasons, I respect their decision. What kind of food options are they providing? Is there really no salad that you can eat?

  • Silverlava
    VIP September 2017
    Silverlava ·
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    Hm, that's a good point, @CuteNickname. I'm still going to be there because they are family, I guess my big thing is that I really don't understand it.

  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    For the record, there are lots of different kinds of vegans. Most vegans are vegan because of their feelings about animal products, and it has nothing to do with health.

  • J. Clo
    Master May 2018
    J. Clo ·
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    TBH - I think it really depends. If 90% of the guests are vegan then this is ok. If however 90% of the guests are die hard carnivores (like they don't eat unless there is meat on the plate) then it is quite rude. Yes, it is the couple's wedding day however, when a couple opts to invite people to celebrate their marriage (rather than keeping it just to themselves) then guests should be catered to within reason (no expecting a complete top shelf bar versus bottom well is not reasonable). Otherwise, why invite the guests?

    Edited for clarity

  • Punkin Beer
    Master October 2017
    Punkin Beer ·
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    Rude. I think vegetarian only might be OK but 100% vegan only? Inconsiderate of your guests, especially if they can't eat things like gluten or soy due to medical reasons. I know my beloved aunt would be starving with this menu due to her diet restrictions on account of her hypothyroidism.....

  • Silverlava
    VIP September 2017
    Silverlava ·
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    I know vegan means no meat, but also no animal products--cheese, milk, and eggs. So it means no mac n cheese, no bread (unless there is an egg- free bread im unaware of), etc.

  • NerdyBride
    Super August 2017
    NerdyBride ·
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    I don't think it's necessarily rude. Would you be mad if a Jewish or Muslim wedding didn't offer pork?

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