Vegan Wedding--Rude? Experiences?

Sigh......My catering company, for some weird reason, had a vegan wedding menu published on About. com some years ago. We got calls for MONTHS after than, but ironically, that wedding (and many of the others) didn't end up being totally vegan. Some added pasta with cheese, a couple added fish (apparently fish don't qualify as animals.....). Very often the parents (at that point in time) were still invested in the bill and didn't want to go that route when they had guests invited; guests with new clothes, travel expenses and presumably....gifts. We didn't add roast suckling pigs carved to order, but more subtle dishes.

If the vegan caterer is REALLY good, (translated, really expensive) it will be fine. But this is very often not the case. And it's almost always more expensive.

This is an UO. Honestly, I feel like the wedding reception is a time to thank your guests, not espouse your various philosophies on life. This is why there is a related group of discussions about dry weddings, no dancing, registering with charities or offering favor substitutes of donations. These are your choices, not your guests, and for the most part, not mainstream choices. If you want to live your life this way, fantastic. But your reception is a thank you.

Your guests are spending a LOT of money to come to your wedding; not that this should be a benchmark, but theoretically you want to treat them well, and for a vast majority of the population that doesn't mean tofu and quinoa.

You've found a gracious way to treat your guests; kudos on that! So the bottom line answer to your question is that I do think it's rude.

OP - funny that you have so many dietary restrictions that 3/4 entrees aren't edible for you! I guess that's how they feel everywhere they go.

Let them know your restrictions and see how they accomodate you. Those options do sound pretty tasty, as Vegan fare goes.

Good luck... report back...

My son's gf is vegan and I've been learning to cook for her...there are delicious options, believe it or not and I tried a chickpea curry at a food tasting that was AMAZING. Hopefully they will have some good options, so don't be afraid. That said, I do think it's a little rude to not accomodate all guests. But after following wedding wire I realize I've had rude hosts at many weddings lol. It's your friends, you deal with it.

It is different, but honestly, as long as they have wine or beer, I could deal with it.

I don't think its rude at all, but I'm usually in the minority on this one. Providing four options is sufficient in my opinion.

Lot of misconceptions in this thread. Vegans eat (vegan) cheese and bread and almost any product that you eat, just a different version of it.

I agree with @CuteNickname. I don't think it's rude if they have strong moral beliefs about animals and animal cruelty. I have several friends who have had vegan catered weddings, and it has never been an issue. If you're really concerned with the food they are serving, could you reach out to the bride and ask about options?

Personally i'm totally fine with this! It's not like I can't eat vegan food, and I'm not morally opposed to vegan food At least you got the head's up on the menu and can be prepared to eat a little beforehand if you're nervous about the food selection!

I don't think that it is rude. I think that it is a cultural preference, just like you would expect certain things at other cultural weddings. There are plenty of vegan entrees that you wouldn't even know were vegan if you weren't told. Embrace the occasion to try something new!

@ALC I'd love to learn more then! What is vegan cheese and bread made from?

French bread does not contain eggs fyi

Nuts. Mostly nuts.

Honestly yes, I do think it is rude. That said, it depends what you are serving.... As someone with severe IBS I only eat "safe" foods when I'm out that I have had before. So changing my diet at a wedding which is probably very far away from home is not going to go over well with me.

Yeah there is vegan Mac n cheese. Done right, it's really delicious. I would definitely attend a vegan wedding. Catered right, the food could taste really good with plenty of options for everyone.

It's rude. For sure.

I get there are diehard people who believe it's immoral, and well, that's one thing I guess. I just wouldn't go.

I'm with LiveFree...I wouldn't go. Like I wouldn't go to a dry wedding, or any wedding that involved hay, games or a large gap. Because they all signal a disregard for guests who take time and money to spend a day with you.

I think it's rude that there isn't another option

Personally if I were invited to a vegan wedding I would only go if I was close to the couple and it was local. I have a carrot allergy and I am wary of vegetarian and vegan foods because of it. It would be a pleasant surprise if there were something I could eat and enjoy! Even if it did end up being just sides

And I would probably store some snacks in my purse just in case.

You could contact them, tell them you need something filled with protein/fat so that you feel full, but have allergies that prevent you from choosing 3 out of 4 options and you're concerned about the 4th. Be prepared with suggestions to make within the vegan diet, just like they would be able to tell you what they can eat when contacting you with dietary restrictions.

I think communication can go a long way here.

Hi @Nikki!!! You're getting married on my birthday! ahhh

Love the comment.