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Mrs Lilow
VIP June 2011

TMI. Celibacy before the wedding?

Mrs Lilow, on January 16, 2011 at 1:27 PM Posted in Planning 0 20

So I don't need this to be a moral discussion, but for those of you already doing the dirty with your FH, are you going to go celibate for any amount of time before the wedding? Seems kinda silly, I know, but one of my BM's asked me if I was and I thought hmm...maybe for like 1-2 weeks prior to make the wedding night extra special?

20 Comments

Latest activity by 2d Bride, on January 16, 2011 at 11:52 PM
  • MrsD2011
    Master October 2011
    MrsD2011 ·
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    I think it dpends on what you and FS want ... I hate to say it, I don't think FS and I will do it though ... we'll be in our wedding destination a week before the wedding, with both sets of parents around so maybe a week? I know people who have gone a couple of months, I had a friend go 9 months (she wanted to be absolutely positive she wasn't going to be preggars on her wedding) and I've heard people go for a year! My advice talk to your FS and see what he feels you should do. Chances are he won't ...

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  • Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-)
    Master October 2010
    Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-) ·
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    DH and I tried for a bit. He said a month I said a week... I think it just ended up being three weeks. Honestly for nothing more than we barely saw each other, DH was out of town a bit and I was running around crazy doing things. Then we were staying with fam a week before the wedding so needless to say that was a bit of a buzz kill. I think here there is no right or wrong answer. Just do what you think is best for you and FH. I will say there was this bit of anticipation we had built up. :-)

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  • Christina
    VIP November 2012
    Christina ·
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    Perhaps something to consider....going without for any length of time will cause your lady parts to revert back to pre-sex times, so when the wedding night comes along you will most definitely be very sore the next day and not want anything coming near you for the next 3-4 days while you are...healing. I would hate to have sex on our wedding night, then be at an amazing honeymoon resort and not want to have sex for the remainder of the trip because I'm sore!! Just something to consider Smiley smile

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  • jess-counting-down
    Master February 2012
    jess-counting-down ·
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    Yes we are. Absence makes the heart grow fonder Smiley smile We are going to wait 4 weeks or more even. So when that night finally happens we will be crazy about each other lol.

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  • desirae
    Dedicated July 2012
    desirae ·
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    I've thought about this too and haven't fully decided. I was thinking a month before and we are thinking of not sleeping in separate places the night before as well.

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  • M
    Master March 2011
    Mrs. Boat ·
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    I'm cutting him off on Feb. 28th for our March 13th wedding lol.

    It makes sense tho... I won't be seeing him much, if at all, before the wedding. I have a work conference the first weekend in MArch, then 2 days after I make it back, I'm off driving from TX to CA for the wedding... not much lag time between for some lovey-dovey Smiley smile

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  • Cabell
    Master May 2010
    Cabell ·
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    We didn't avoid sex before the wedding, and I'm glad, because I think it would have made the wedding night kind of disappointing, honestly--we were SO exhausted, we were not in the mood for nookie. :p

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  • Future Mrs. Coleman
    Devoted April 2012
    Future Mrs. Coleman ·
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    I joked with FH saying that this New Year's Eve (Jan 2011) we'd stay celibate until our wedding date (April 2012). He said he'd only do it if we changed it to New Year of 2012 instead. But who knows what will happen in the end, I don't think he has the willpower to do it haha

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  • Mrs. Carmen
    Master September 2010
    Mrs. Carmen ·
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    To each their own, but I really don't get this idea. Say you cut off the nookie for a month, right? In the meantime, your FS is gonna have to um..."DIY" the situation. Which is in no way the same as being intimate with you. Even if he does it frequently, the anticipation of being with you again is going to make your wedding night not last as long. It's like the virgin complex, ya know? Call me selfish, but I'd prefer he last for hours rather than minutes.

    Please don't think I'm saying that going this route is wrong or anything. Like I said, to each their own. If it works for you then hellz yeah. But it's just one of those things that I try to understand each time it comes up in a thread (about once a month) and I just can't.

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  • Nicci
    Master July 2010
    Nicci ·
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    We didn't attempt to because it would have put more "pressure" on the wedding night for us. We were so tired on our wedding night that we easily could have passed on doing it in general and had we waited a significant amount of time before hand it would have been a huge let down. We still had sex on our wedding night and we were intimate up until a few days before and it didn't make the night any more special than it was on it's own.

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  • Karen
    VIP August 2011
    Karen ·
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    I wouldn't only because I have heard that most of the time, you're so exhausted that you drop into bed and crash (as Cabell stated).

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  • Meghan
    Master August 2011
    Meghan ·
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    Personally, I don't see the point. I don't think it makes it any more or less special to cut yourselves off for any amount of time before the wedding. I know alot of couples who have done it, but I won't be one of them.

    Frankly, for me- the week before the wedding will be really stressful, and that's a great way to relieve stress. It also helps us stay close, because typically after sex, we cuddle and talk.

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  • Patricia
    Master December 2011
    Patricia ·
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    This is something personal... Only you and your FH can decide on this, frankly as you can see everyone will have a different opinion or say they don't see the point of it & to me they never will see the point of it because it's personal. Only you and your FH can decide if you should or shouldn't take time off, and if you should, how long you should do if for, it is absolutely up to you & him. FH and I are taking the entire year off until our wedding night, it doesn't matter what anyone say, like I said before it is personal and we both are willing to put all our efforts into sticking to it.

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  • Mrs Lilow
    VIP June 2011
    Mrs Lilow ·
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    Thanks all, I'm not worried about what anyone thinks hehe, I just hadn't even considered it myself until someone asked me if I was. Just wanted to "start a discussion". I enjoy reading what strangers say about topics like this. Smiley smile

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  • Staci
    Devoted June 2012
    Staci ·
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    Well me and the hubby talked about it prior to us actually getting married but umm it didn't work (lol). Maybe we will try it a week before the actual wedding. Honestly, I could hold out but he can't so I really don't think that will happen.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP March 2011
    Jennifer ·
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    We tried this and lasted a few months.... it was a very long few months. and we gave in... thank god....

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  • * maryke
    VIP July 2010
    * maryke ·
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    We didn't even have sex the night of the wedding because we stayed up all night to catch our flight at 4am. I'm not quite sure what the big hype is all about anyway. Do what you want! Smiley smile

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  • L
    VIP April 2011
    LazyAssMama ·
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    We planned on having our wedding night be the first time in the new year... so that would have been a wait of about 4/5 months. FAILED so do what you want because things never go as planned!

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  • L. Turtle
    VIP August 2011
    L. Turtle ·
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    I agree with Meghan. Maybe it's because FH and I have been together for five years and for me at least, sex is just a regular part of us being together. It wouldn't make me anticipate it more if we stopped, just frustrated that we weren't doing it. I mentioned it to him once and he said he'd go with it if I wanted to, but the more I think about it the less sense it makes.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    The only reason we were celibate even the night before the wedding was because we were sharing our bed with two dogs. ;-)

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