The Anti-Bride

Do you want a big wedding? It's a lot of money to spend if you don't care about it--how do you feel about an elopement or a small DW? Or is it just the PLANNING that you can't get motivated about, rather than the even itself?

I can't say I feel the same way, but in your case I think a planner would be PERFECT! That way he/she could do all of the dirty work for you and all you have to do is decide what options you like best. I'd definitely do it if I was you!

I'm with you...the only real decision I made was buying my dress, which I did on a whim the first time I went shopping. All other decisions were pawned off on mom, or FH, or my bridesmaids...I didn't pick their dresses, the cake, the invitations, the venues, the officiant...I did order the flowers, but from Costco instead of a florist. I haven't even seen the program - my dad is making it for us. Yay for marriages over weddings!

I didn't get started until about 5 moths ago b/c I couldn't motivate myself either. I'm super excited to be married but my mom and MoH keep having to tell me what needs to be done and get me excited about actually planning. You probably just need some cheer leaders = )

I think a wedding planner would be perfect for you - and most wedding planners include their cost in your total budget - so if you are spending $2000 and the wedding planner is $500 - s/he will still keep your entire wedding at $2000 (unless you go hog wild and want a platinum wedding)

I'm going to be honest - if you don't make some decisions regarding things soon, you're going to end up spending a LOT more money than you want...

Thanks ladies... Wedding planners are great (on paper) but for the full blown package which is what I need, they are a lot more expensive than $2000 (at least in Los Angeles). I would let my mom and sisters do a lot of the planning, but they do so much already that I would love for them to enjoy the fun of the event rather than be put to work.

It is going to be a big wedding because we both have large families. I am the youngest in my family, and he is the first in his to get married so it is a big deal for both of our parents. While small seems nice, it just isn't going to happen. I am sure once I get going, I'll get in the spirit too...

Yeah my wedding is in 3 months and I'm still like blah. I love my FH and cant wait to be married to him but in all honesty, I really could care less about wedding colors, flowers, and first dance songs. We have the main things booked and we're paying things off now but I don't know I'm still not excited.

If you're willing to do a little research and drive a bit further from Los Angeles, you can find a lot of venues (usually resort type places) that include a planner as part of the booking. For example: I'm using Pala Mesa Resort, which is an hour and half or so away from Los Angeles.

The Reception site rental is $200 for 5 hours, the coordinator is included, the only major expense is that they don't allow you to bring in outside food/beverage... but my FH and I knew that food was something we were going to spend money on anyway, so it wasn't a big deal to use theirs.

Valerie....my best friend found a venue and they are taking care of EVERYTHING to do with the ceremony and reception. She picked out her dress, her dress for her MOH, and that was about it. It drives me crazy cuz I love everything wedding. Our conversations go like this:

Me: What do your centerpieces look like:

Her: The venue is taking care of that.

Me: What about your cake?

Her: They are taking care of that too.

Me Uhmmm...ok what are your colors?

Her: Whatever the venue is doing.

Talk about hands off! But she has 0 stress!

Are your mom and sister opposed to he;ping planning? My mom would argue that helping with the planning IS enjoying the fun of the event. Then get a Day-of coordinator so on the big day they are focused on you and having fun instead of coordinating and planning. A lot of venues, espcially in LA should provide Day-of coordinators.

OR there are probably tons of event planning students in one of the schools there that would love to have the opportunity to plan your wedding just to have the experience and somehting in their portfolio

I found the planning more annoying than anything, and was quite upset that people wouldn't acknowledge anything else going on in my life (I'm still in college full time and someone told me the week of the wedding "What do you MEAN you have a test on Tuesday?! You're getting married this weekend!" As if those two are connected at all.). If your mom or a friend really likes wedding planning why not ask them to step in and help.

THAT is exactly why I am here! I am Courtney's mom, and she really doesn't have time or the inclination to do all the detailed planning for her wedding. So I am doing all the research, narrowing down the options to the best fit for her and FH, she picks the best and there we go! no stress for her, just the fun part and I LOVE doing all this stuff so its a match made in heaven! Ask your family/friends cuz more than likely there are at least a few people who are obsessed with this stuff and would LOVE to help! don't be afraid to ask for help, then take it!

@ Lexi-- My mom is SUPER excited to plan, but I know she's holding herself back for me. We have very similar personalities (both really stubborn) so when we don't see eye-to-eye it can get tense. She has a way she thinks weddings "should" look like. To give you some insight into me: When I graduated college I didn't want a party, and my mom forced me to have one. The only way I allowed her to throw me one is if I didn't have to do any of the work

I am so relieved that there are other brides that aren't all gung ho over the wedding planning. I have also dreamt of the stuff after the wedding but not the actual wedding itself. My poor family! They are so excited and I am dragging my feet. I am getting hitched in October and I know I need to get my self together. I just went to try on dresses for the first time. My sister had me doing deep breathing exercises to calm me down because I got more more anxious the closer we got to the bridal salon. I wish I had a fairy wedding planner. My family all live far away or else I'd gladly let them have free rein.

Seldee... I know exactly how you feel! I was having lunch with some co-workers and was explaining my feelings, and they both gave me the "Are you NUTS?!?" look. I love looking at other people's ideas on the board though, and have seen lots of random stuff that I like, but I don't know what I WANT.

I am a total anti bride my mum hates it, I almost got kicked out of a wedding dress shop the other day for refusing to have a white dress and buying a blue one. I am just missing the bride gene my mum keeps asking why I can't be more like my friend who has her wedding planned to the last detail but isn't even getting married yet, but the problem is if you haven't really been to any weddings were never interested in to them until the point it was your own you realise you actually have no idea what to do. I think the registra thought me and my boyfriend were idiots cos we just don't have a clue and all the websites and books seem to assume you have a bit of knowledge already. And then the other day my mum goes thermonuclear because I won't wear a necklace I really think it doesn't matter but she seems to think its a matter of life and death. I just don't understand why all the little details matter as long as you are marrying the right person.