Taking Back Plus 1s Included on Original Wedding Invitations - What would you do if you were in my situation?

That's so rude. I wouldn't go!

So like 95% of girls on here and that I've asked said no, don't go, politely decline the request, return your gift, and take your date out.

Whereas 75% of guys just said that sucks, weddings cost like $75K and you have to be respectful for the wedding couple. Granted it was bad planning on their end, but you don't want to be that guy that complains or seems ungreatful and you should just be happy that you were invited. Just go to the wedding yourself, buy a cheaper gift, have fun, and never mention it again, but just remember it the next time you're asked for a favor or you're thinking if you should go out of your way or not for them.

Thoughts?

Its super inconsiderate and rude of your friend and his fiancee to do that. I probably would skip the wedding just on principle, saying that something came up at the last minute (send them a card and a small check) and take your date out someplace nice for dinner and drinks so that she doesn't think that she wasted money on a dress for no reason now.

Jesus, just don't go.

I'd fight rude with rude. Bring your date to the wedding anyway haha! :-D

Really, if you're not even that close to the groom, the couple isn't even going to miss you. . . just don't go.

I think the guys are telling you to go b/c they want to use the evening for a fun reunion with each other. . . they're biased.

Yes it WAS bad planning on their part, it's extremely rude to uninvited someone, and they should not have invited more than they could accommodate.

Most of the people on this website are women so that's going to be whose opinion you get. But, out of curiosity I texted my FH, explained your situation, and this is how the conversation went:

FH: My friends would never do that to me

Me: OK, but just say they did, what would you do?

FH: If we were really good friends they wouldn't do that to me

Me: *IF* it happened, would you still go to the wedding or cancel?

FH: Cancel

So I thought DanieGee had a good idea in asking her FH so I did the same -

FH said maybe 10 years ago he would still go bc he thought it would be fun to eat drink and hang out with friends, but now he just wouldn't go. But he would feel slighted either way.

I would just let them know that you made arrangements with this person and you have to do something. Tell them you have a gift but will be unable to attend. Then take back the gift, get something cheaper, and take your date to dinner.

Clearly, you still want to go, so why are you asking?

There aren't many guys on here. So, you won't get that opinion. If you're getting opinions from your guy friends already via text, then you really have your male perspective already which is probably biased because most of the benefits of weddings to guys are free food and booze, and maybe some single women/BMs.

Personally, I'd be pissed because this is AWFUL etiquette, and I wouldn't go.

Clearly though, you want to go for your own reasons. Do what you want. I don't really think you need our input because it sounds like you already had your mind made up anyway.

Even more so, it's extremely rude to ditch a ceremony, and only show up to a reception. The reception is what actually costs the MOST amount of money to put on, so ditching the ceremony first is about as wrong as reascending a plus one.

So if you go, you have to cancel the date. Which makes you rude, by the way, since she has spent money on this soiree.

Your guy friends don't care of you have a date. They don't care about etiquette. They just want to party with you.

Totally decline! Return the gift and take your date out for the night.

I'm with MnDex. I'm calling out for some meme's from Mrs. King!!

Seriously OP. It's rude. You think it's rude. Your guys friends that think it's fine probably don't know a damn thing about wedding ettiquete. Decline. If your concerned about getting "cock blocked" then DON'T go, as it would impress the lady if you stood up for her. To ditch her would be cock blocking yourself.

Seriously, all this stuff about cock-blocking and status and blah blah blah - either you're a troll, or you're some immature dude obsessed with PUA crap. What's next, asking if ditching your date is an effective "neg"?

And besides, if this is real - your buddies want to party and hit on women with you, they don't care if you ditch your date or not. It's dumb bachelor wolf pack mentality, and hopefully y'all will grow out of it. If you're still pulling this crap at 40, you'll depress the hell out of everyone who sees you do it.

Yes, they were entitled to invite whomever they wished, and that's exactly what they did. Rescinding an invitation is not excuseable. Cut something else, but don't cut invited guests. I'd make it really easy on them. I'd decline the invitation and tell them that they now how two open seats, and you'd suggest he fill those seats with the plus ones that have already been invited. At least it will help him minimize the hurt feelings.

If you end up going just be prepared to not have another date with this girl who was your plus one. It's just as rude for you to ditch her as it is for the wedding couple to recind her invite. If I were in her shoes I'd be super pissed that you are more concerned about weddings costing 75k and "respecting" the wedding couple versus respecting your date. Anyone who is spending 75k on a wedding should know better than to recind invites at the last minute. If you want to still go to the wedding then just own it, but understand its just as tacky to ditch your date as it was for the groom to take back her invite.

I wouldn't even show up to be honest. Just send them the gift it will make you the better person!

My male coworker said he would go, but also said that if he had a date who had made arrangements he would talk to her about it first.

I think it is fucking rude and I would DECLINE and go hang out with my FRIEND that was uninvited to the wedding. Don't be a dick to her because these people were dicks to you.

It sounds like you have already decided. You are going to go buddy it up with your frat bros, ditch your date and call it a day. No need to keep reaching out on our thoughts, everyone has weighed in. It is rude of your friend to uninvited, most everyone recommends declining and having a nice night out with your date. Done and done. Ok. Time to move on.

I actually kind of like the idea of you taking the girl out to dinner and then just showing up for the open bar. Given that they uninvited your date, I feel that's fair.