Strippers at bachelor party?

I think they are very disrespectful in general for a BP. If your FH doesn't seem to get that, I think you guys need to have a serious talk. Maybe he doesn't realize how strongly you feel. If he thinks it's not such a big idea, good for him, but he should take your feelings more seriously.

If your FH knows how you feel and is totally dismissing you, I think you need to have a serious discussion about that

My advice is know he is marrying you and Ioves you. My FH will probably go to a strip club for his bachelor party and it will also be hot South Florida strippers. I also feel insecure at times but I know that he does not go to strip clubs normally.

I deal with insecurities all the time and I've been pushing myself to deal with them and work through them. But this is still an issue for me. If you're uncomfortable with the thought of having strippers, then your FH should respect you enough to at least sit down and have a conversation with you. If he is still bound and determined to go, then he needs to make you understand why you shouldn't be worried, and if after that conversation you're still uncomfortable with it, he needs to be respectful of your feelings and alter the plans. He should not be dismissing how you feel and knowingly doing something that makes you uncomfortable. That doesn't set a good tone for the beginning of the marriage. I would have a conversation about it. And perhaps you should look into couples counseling; try to get your issues out in the open and have someone to help you work through them.

I didn't read all the replies....but I also have a small chest. I go to strip clubs with my fiance. It was a confidence booster to be honest! Many had chests flatter than mine and were getting those ones. Just remember he loves you. Personally I think strip clubs are fine. I'd talk to your man and be honest with him. I suggest going yourself!

Also, I live in Florida. They aren't that great! Lol

I have less of a concern that he's going to a strip club (which my phone auto corrected to syrup club - which would have been very sticky!) - than he's going so against your wishes.

FH planned a Bach party for his brother 2 years ago, and hey went to a strip club - didn't bother me. So his brother planned his this year, and they did the same thing. His married brother, married business partner, and my BIL (married to my sister went). The night was fine, and we did our party the same night in a different city. We were actually out later than the boys - and no strippers were involved! I wasn't bothered, so it wasn't a big deal.

What else does FH not care how you feel about? This doesn't seem like an isolated behavior of disregard but rather a very obviously demonstration of what your feelings mean to him.

I don't mind FH going to strip clubs for bachelor parties. If he decides every Friday night he would be going with the boys I would have an issue. I go to strip clubs for bachelorettes myself and I have never thought them to be relationship material, They are there to perform a service then I leave and go home. Its their job to be nice to me cause they want my money.

I don't think it is right or wrong to go to strip clubs or to not go. It depends on each individual couple and what they believe is needed in their relationship. When we go we talk about the experience and what we did. However, if FH really had an issue with me going I wouldn't go. Strippers are not a necessity and I wouldn't hurt FH like that.

There is "He knows what I think about the situation," and then there's "He understands how I feel and has acknowledged it." Just saying you don't like the idea of him going isn't always enough. He may not realize that there's even an issue past you having a difference of opinion on what is and isn't appropriate for his bachelor party.

Talk with him again, but this time stress just how uncomfortable you are about the idea of other women acting like that with him. Push the point how this *will* affect your relationship in the long run if he doesn't meet you half way on your insecurities because unresolved issues can lead to resentment later on.

Strip clubs don't bother me and if FH has strippers at his bachelor party, fine by me. I trust him and know he doesn't want to hook up with a stripper! I think it's rude that your fiancé knows your feelings and has brushed them off, but I am assuming if he told his friends "my girlfriend said no to strippers" he'd never hear the end of it and that's what bothers him. It's immature but I can't say I blame him.

@Jacky and others judging and saying there is no instance that it isn't disrespectful - don't generalize that any relationship must have trust or respect issues if they are okay with strip clubs, looking at porn etc. I personally like strip clubs occasionally, and I just feel that biologically there's nothing that's going to stop human beings from appreciating naked human flesh (not even love).

The problem is when one half of a relationship has an issue with something, be it going to strip clubs or anything else, the other half needs to respect that and take their partner's concerns above those of their friends.

Definitely not "to be expected". Have a conversation about it. If you are getting married it should be an important thing to be discussed. Strip clubs are extremely misogynistic, breeding grounds for violence against women (from the employers and sometimes patrons) and just overall gross. There are many fun and crazy things men can do without strip clubs.

In an effort to not sound judgemental of FH......

You really can't DO anything.. he has told you he does not care you are uncomfortable about it, can't force an adult to do anything.

So that would be my problem if I was you, the fact that he doesn't mind your strong feelings in regards to it.

My FH is not doing a bachelor party like that because #1 he respects my feelings of not being okay with it and #2 he's scared of getting a disease lol

So my fiancés friends are 100% getting strippers involved because they want them. My fiancé doesn't even care for them. But I told him, I definitely don't feel comfortable with lap dances or any type of physical contact. I said it would be the equivalent of me grinding up on some guy in a dance club and turning him on, which I wouldn't do. He agreed and this was a nice compromise for us.

What bothers me about your post is that he didn't seem to care when you talked to him. I will say I appreciate that he didn't lie ( bc sadly a lot do when their fiancé says no to a stripper) but I would try to talk to him and come to a compromise on it and talk through what makes you uncomfortable about it

Get a massage while this is happening. Do things to distract yourself and relax yourself! It's not my favorite either, and FH's BM has already said he's going to surprise FH with them... Awesome... I'm going to need a lot of distractions!

@Jacky I think between this and not having control over your own money you've got a real antiquated way of thinking.

Newsflash: People look at people all the time. people look at naked people all the time. Sexuality should not be shamed. I dont give a flip if FH watches porn, it's a fantasy. He doesn't care that I drool over Henry Cavill. It's a fantasy. It doesn't make you any "less". It's just different.

I told FH he could go to a strip club but he was "meh" about it. Sure I might of had some pangs of jealousy but I know he wouldn't sleep with them and we point out good looking people to each other all the time. We're adults who understand that appreciating beauty doesn't mean I all of a sudden dont care for or respect you. It's a bit naive to think that anyone, man or woman, suddenly gets blinders put on when it comes to the billions of other people on the planet.

At the end of the day they're marrying YOU, not the stripper so who cares. But if you're just not cool with it, talk to him.

@Ivy is right, they just want the cash.

So where do we draw the line of "I feel uncomfortable so you can't do it"? What if someone doesn't want her fiancé to even talk to other females? What if a guy doesn't want his fiancé to hang out in a group of guys and girls without him? When does it become controlling vs 'you're uncomfortable and he needs to understand that!' This is a fine line and since OP doesn't like strippers because of her own insecurities and nothing her fiancé has done, to me that is her problem and not his.

I think everyone should actually go to a strip club before assuming some half naked idealized woman is grinding on your man.

Because 1.) it's not like that. 2.) they aren't grinding their crotch on his face. 3.) they are women. (or men) with real bodies. with no clothes on.

Every single one of them is someone working for money- who have rolls- and lumps- and scars hair- bumps and sagging tattoos

You can chose to not be involved or still be uncomfortable- but you should at least go - sit at the bar- buy a drink and watch first before passing judgment on these women and what's going on.

You shouldn't have to 'distract' yourself while this is happening.

The biggest problem with this whole thread is his complete disregard for your feelings, (rational or not) and that he's going to go anyway. That is troublesome.

And no, in 2017, it's not expected, as if it ever should have been.