Strippers at bachelor party?

I feel like FH should respect how you feel when it comes to strippers and should make his GM respect you too. I wouldn't feel comfortable with them, but then again my FH isn't interested. He's thinking of something different - gun range or something like that.

Agree with Celia as always!!! It's gross that people's best advice is to distract yourself while FH disrespects you. Different strokes for different folks but doesn't excuse the fact he is marrying someone uncomfortable with the idea and choosing to go against ur feelings

I used to be uncomfortable with my FH going to strip clubs.... until I actually went with him to one. I promise that what you are imagining goes on at strip clubs is not what it's really like. I've gained a lot of respect for strippers from going to strip clubs with FH. Majority of them are just doing a job, not trying to steal your man.

I hired some strippers for my FH bachelor party. He doesn't want them but he will have them lol. It's one night and trust they will be gone in a hr. They just want their ones. And mostly it's for the best man. I don't see it as a big deal. But if you feel that uncomfortable then just show up to the party with your friends

I agree with Laura. Are you going to be "uncomfortable" when he has a coworker or friend with bigger boobs too? Where will you draw the line? If your FH doesn't have a history of fucking strippers in the strip club, then your issue with this is just YOUR issue. I know what it's like to be insecure about something (we've all been there), but your issues will never be truly resolved until your overcome the insecurity. It will always be something. And the "I'm uncomfortable with x,y,z" complaint will only work so many times. Then your FH will take it as you trying to control him.

If you can't trust your FH for one night out with the boys then idk if you should be getting married. Of course FH should respect your feelings but it may be more important to try and figure out why you're feeling this way. Honestly, if someone wanted to be unfaithful they probably wouldn't choose to do it in front of a bunch of people with a stripper, not to mention the strippers probably not going to do anything either unless she's paid an insane amount of money or she's also a hooker..

@shannon you hit the nail on the head! Exactly

@Shannon, I think you misunderstood the OP's concerns. She's not worried that he'll cheat on her or physically do anything, she just feels insecure about her body in comparison to strippers. That's not necessarily something that comes from a lack of trust, but a million other things.

Also, do you really think strippers don't usually do anything? What do you think the champagne room is for? Or "home parties"? The one time I went to a "home party," I saw them do things I haven't even done after 2 years with FH; it was traumatizing lol. I'm not saying OP is concerned with FH doing any of that (nor am I; FH would never), but it's definitely happening at most BPs, and to think otherwise seems pretty naïve to me.

My fiance has never been interested in strippers, so it's hard for me to really have a valid opinion here. I am surprised that you're aware of the details of the bachelor party though. Besides the date, I wouldn't want to know.

@lyla I understood her question, i just interpreted to think there has to be something more. She's insecure about her chest size so she doesn't want FH to have strippers at his bachelor party? I just think there is more to it, maybe i'm wrong.

And of course i'm sure some strippers go above and beyond but as i said, MOST of the time they have to be WELL compensated for it. Most places i know of the champagne room is actually the biggest scam ever. The point of me saying that was, if your FH is going to cheat on you he doesn't need a stripper to do it.

And to say "it happens" at most bachelor parties? What happens? Guys/Girls cheat on their significant others with strippers? Nope, dont think thats "definitley happening at most BPs" sorry, not sure what BP you've had experience with but I can't relate.

I think the major issue here as Celia pointed out is that FH is not respecting OP's feelings that she is uncomfortable. Just because she has told him, does that mean he understands how/why she feels the way she does? OP, the best way for you to have your FH understand how you feel may be to ask him what his thoughts on you having male strippers. I think when most men hear this, they quickly change their tune of thinking strippers are okay because they are thinking of some random guy stripping in front of their fiance/girlfriend.

I also agree with Celia that strippers are in no way expected, I feel as though most BP are moving away from that and more towards fun things like paint ball or a snowboarding or beach trip.

I will just leave this here...

Personally, I've never really understood the whole concept of the tradition. There's something a little strange about a guy who's about to get married getting together with his wolf pack, drinking, and then, specifically BECAUSE he's getting married, he's encouraged to go get a lap dance from a topless woman in a thong so he gets sexually aroused. We all know what lap dances look like. Anyway, if it's not my husband, live and let live.

HopelessRomantic, you're a more tolerant woman than I am. It wouldn't matter what the issue was -- if I told my husband that I had very strong feelings about something he was planning to do, and his response to my pain was essentially, "So what? I'm still doing what I want to do.", it would not end well. This is an attitude I cannot abide -- or rather, will not abide. Conversely, I take his concerns just as seriously. Neither of us should be trying to distract ourselves while the person we love is causing us emotional pain.

AleighC3 I came here to see if anyone remembered--BLORP!

It definitely is not to be expected. I would not marry anyone who did this at his bachelor party.

My husband and I did a joint bach party weekend in Manhatten (by joint, I mean we stayed at the same hotel, separated by floors and drove up and home together). He had 12 guys in his group, we had 9 girls...I was not interested in attending any of these types of gatherings...but my sisters and bridal party had other plans. He ended up at a stri p club, I ended up a stri p club...and looking back on it, it was hysterical and didn't change a thing. If you voice your concerns to him and he doesn't want to listen that is one thing...but if you decide you can survive this without having a full blown anxiety attack (trust me, I get it), try to remember these girls are paid to pretend to enjoy the attention...none of them are serious. He loves you and is marrying you, jealousy is natural-but I promise if you distract yourself you will be 100% ok as long as you trust him to behave himself.

I don't think the issue here is the strip club- to each their own. I don't have a problem with them. Strippers are women too- Have you been to a strip club? The vast majority are not these perfect barbies you're imagining in your head. They're REAL women like you and I.

Regardless- The real issue is you an FH's poor communication and his complete disregard for YOUR feelings. You should think long and hard about this marriage IMO. There are far greater decisions in life than what to do at a bachelor party. Will he give a shit about your opinion in those times?

I think whatever your boundaries they should be respected. Period.

I would without a doubt talk to him about this again...does he know how insecure you feel about him going!?

FH and I had this discussion when we first got engaged...I asked him how he would feel if big stripper men were giving me a show and he didn't like the thought one bit. That's when we decided strippers we're out of the picture.

In all honesty though, I think his GM will still take him to a strip club regardless of what he tells them. He's such a go with the flow kind of guy.. I've decided not to let it bug me too much

I mean honestly, it's not like he's gonna find them desirable...they are strippers. It's just something fun most guys do for their bachelor party. I think you need to allow him to go do what he wants. You are beautiful, and you need to have more confidence in yourself!!! I promise he isn't gonna go walking off with one of those girls lol.