Strippers at bachelor party?

Have you talked to your fiance about this? Because if he knows you'd be uncomfortable with it, then I would hope that he would take care of shutting that idea down real quick.

Ask your fiancé how he feels about it. I asked mine and he said he has no interest in strippers. They're actually going to go skeet shooting and to a steakhouse. It might not be something to your fiancé wants and if that's the case he needs to tell his friends.

Find something to distract yourself! And just reassure yourself that everything is fine - he is marrying you because he loves you and wants to be with you, exactly how you are. Most likely, he's just going along with it because of his friends and he may not even be into it. But definitely share your concerns and talk through it with your fiance!

Honestly I hate the whole idea of saying "the last fling before the ring"!! I think the moment your fiance asked you to be his wife forever, he made the choice that no other woman is better... there shouldn't be strippers.... he should feel like he is cheating if there are strippers..... my FH and I are just gonna have a girl night & guy night with our friends & family.... my bachelorette party I'm inviting a bunch of girls over for drinks, games, and we all be in our pj's. He is gonna go have drink with all the guys. Strippers are stupid ideas..... I'm sorry you are having to stress over this.

You need to tell him how you feel about it and why you feel that way. He, and his friends, should respect you enough to not do that. I feel just as you do, thankfully my brother is a groomsman and wouldn't let that happen and FH wants to go on a bachelor fishing trip instead, phew!

I don't think it's expected. My FH is not doing it for his. They are doing to a brewery and doing tastings like wine tasting

Fellow member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee here lol. I would ask your fiance his views on it and maybe see what his groomsmen have planned. I have no clue how I feel about it quite yet, but I know FH said he doesn't care either way. If there are strippers, cool. If not, cool.

Have you told FH this? If you have this much of a problem with it he should respect you and like LibbyLane said shut it down. Also I don't think it is to be expected. My FH is not doing this. His best friend wants to throw a party for him and FH said no strippers and his friend said well yeah no strippers. I would think guys know how to be guys without strippers. The bachelor party's I heard from friends all consisted of the guys getting drunk and eating pizza and wings, and playing video games.

Hi Lyndsy. I "liked" your post because I feel the same way. My husband's bachelor party was over 28 years ago. His friends wanted strippers and would openly discuss their plans in front if us. I confided in him. I told him what having strippers would mean to ME. How his having them grind on him would effect ME. I made it about me not about him or the other guys. This was my issue. I trusted that he would respect me. He did.

You'll get a lot of different answers but for me and my husband this is how we handled it.

By the way, at first he got a lot of crap. He just shut it down and said "end of discussion. No strippers. Period. We can call an early night and you guys continue on without me if you want. But my party will not have strippers."

This is something you guys need to have each other's backs on and stick to it.

Best wishes.

I personally think this is a 'tradition' that needs to die.That whole 'last night of freedom' bullshit is just that....

talk to your fiance about this. He needs to respect your views on it and feel free to tell his guys that it's not what he had in mind.

I would talk to FH about your feelings, I know FH guys wanted to do a strip club and he vetoed it, not because of me, but because he said hes not giving some random chick his money for a peen tease. Hes never liked them even before me. The guys are bummed, but its up to your FH is he oks that activity

The best advice I was ever given was "bachelor parties aren't for the groom, they're for his friends" lol I can totally understand your feelings, but I wouldn't let it get to you too much. I know without a doubt that my FH is going to a strip club and all I care about is that he comes back home to me! Those girls are nothing but entertainment, like video games without clothes on!

I don't think it's "to be expected." A lot of guys don't want strippers at their bachelor party. My fiancé never liked strip clubs even before me and he has said he doesn't want them at his party. I'm happy about that because it definitely does make me a little uncomfortable. I would talk to him about it and if it's somethings that's going to bother you, he should respect your feelings about it.

Edit: At the very least, talk about it! Some guys just like strip clubs, but he's still coming home to you and marrying you and loves you. That's what matters.

Talk to your FH about your feelings, period. If you can't talk to him about this, that's not a good sign for future difficult conversations.

Also I really don't think this is a "tradition" (although it's probably much more of a "know your crowd" thing). I think my FH and his guys are probably going to kill a bottle of Scotch, play Cards Against Humanity, and smoke some hookah. Probably there will be some Irish punk music and jumping up and down.

You should absolutely talk to him and express your discomfort to him. Also strippers are not necessarily "to be expected" at bach parties, many men do not have them. My H has never been to a strip club in his life nor does he have an ounce of interest in them. He went out to dinner and played scrabble lol

Is there any way your FH would be ok with not having strippers at his BP and he could actually convince whoever is hosting not to surprise him with them? You should definitely talk to him about it and see what his thoughts/desire are on the subject. Ideally he will care enough to protect your feelings on this issue.

If strippers are happening no matter what, you have to ask yourself if its a dealbreaker. For me, him going to BPs every once in a while isn't a dealbreaker, but it does really hurt. I do usually get over it in a week or so though; the insecure feeling doesn't last forever. It's usually the lead up to it and the night of that are the worst. I'm thinking for his next BP in March (he had 2 this year already), I might have a night out on the town. Getting hit on when you're feeling insecure is great medicine. Petty, but it works. I have also been considering going to a show or treating myself to a nice spa day.

Lyla if strippers are happening no matter what then FH needs to reconsider his friends/why these guys are his friends. Or this FH is a self absorbed dickwad.

Your post is sad to me.

Strippers are only okay if BOTH people are okay with them. If either of you are uncomfortable with it then there should not be any strippers. Talk to your FH about it. If you are really that uncomfortable with them and he respects you then I would assume that he would tell his friends it was a no on the strippers.

Honey - you don't need boobs to feel feminine. In fact, plenty of beautiful women I know have small or no chest at all. ( I am small chested and I love it) I never cared for boobs and never felt deprived or non-feminine because of it. My best friend literally has NOTHING, NADA.. and she is one of the most feminine and beautiful women I have known in my entire life.

As far as the whole stripper thing, I think it would bother me too, but not because I am insecure, because I am certainly not, but because I hate the thought of another woman touching my man in a sexual way.

@Kathleen To clarify, FH is NOT having them for his BP. I was strict about that. But he doesn't want to miss his friends' bachelor parties just because strippers will be there, and it just happens that a lot of his friends are getting married this year and their BPs involve strippers (many of whom it turns out are prostitutes).

Either way, I agree that it's sad. I really do struggle with it