Strippers at bachelor party?

I think it's extremely rude and disrespectful for fiances to have strippers at bachlor parties (finding people attractive is totally fine, but it's different to go out of your way to ogle at half naked women). I talked with my FH about how it made me feel and he agreed. If you're getting married you should be able to talk to each other openly about how you feel and you should respect each other's feelings.

If strippers aren't OK with you, then you FI needs to know so he can respect your boundaries. My SO wouldn't go because I'm not in support of the industry for many reasons. Also prior to being with me, he worked in a few, and he'd never go back either.

The "last night of freedom" needs to die. It really does.

Lyla thank you for clarifying. I thought your fiancé was having strippers at his bachelor party and read your post with that in mind.

.... girl, does he not know how it makes you feel? Can't he show up later or leave early?

I'm just thinking of you. Shouldn't your FH have you in mind whether you're standing in the same room with him or in another room 10 miles away?

Lyla, I think if it's something that depressed you for a "week or so" your FH really needs to make a choice there... he should not be choosing something that hurts you that badly over your security. He can hang out with his friends and do non stripper/prostitute things another day.

Also, I forgot to add that when my fiancées best friend got married two years ago, they did go to a strop club and all of the guys wanted to buy him (groom)a lap dance but he refused. So I think if he goes and doesn't get a lap dance it should be ok.. just my two cents. I mean I don't see anything wrong with just looking.

Tamara, you may not see a problem with looking but other people do. Like me, for instance. For a number of reasons strip clubs are not cool with me.

I wouldn't care. My sister is a stripper, and so maybe I am more comfortable with that stuff than others. However, he is coming home to you. That's what matters. He loves you and your body and wants to marry YOU! There is a reason he's not with someone else.

That being said, my FH doesn't even like strip clubs. His friends probably will take him to one. But he doesn't enjoy the experience.

Try not to let it bother you.

@Kathleen I think that was to me? If so, I agree with you 100%. He is aware of the emotional toll it takes on me, but he just isn't willing to compromise his participation in his friends' parties. I've wrestled with this a ton, but I always decide that I can't justify giving up an otherwise perfect relationship over something that will probably only happen 2 or 3 times in the rest of our lives. Instead I try to suck it up, but I end up moping around every time. The whole situation is super stupid and pathetic tbh.

Also, you are awesome! Your real life friends are super lucky!

@jacks, I never said it is cool with me. What I m trying to say is that between looking and getting a lap dance, I would rather him just look. My fiancé doesn't care for strip clubs, but he went for his best friends bachelor party. And he was honest about it. Now, had he lied and said he hadn't gone, it Would definitely bother me and I'd probably raise hell. ( lol) I am aware that we all have different outlooks on this matter and it is totally fine with me. I expressed my opinion, just like you expressed yours -no hard feelings

I just think that every behavior a spouse has should be the same behavior in front his/her loved one as it is miles away from his/her loved one.

If a person grinding on your SO is ok with you standing in the same room watching it then your argument stands.

Last time my fiance went to a strip club (his best friend's bachelor party) he was texting me the entire time he was there.....

Made me feel a little better about things.

I just saw your update, OP. That would be a huge alarm for me. If you're that uncomfortable with it and he still thinks it's no big deal... He needs to respect you enough that even if it's not a big deal for him, he wouldn't go because he knows it's a big deal to you.

I hate this whole tradition as well. My first marriage my x wanted a night with all his guy friends drinking and playing video games. I went out dancing with the girls. My x got maaaaaaajor shit from his guy friends about not going to a strip club. Like they were pissed and gave him crap but he didn't like them either.

This time around FH and I aren't having anything. Its stupid I mean this whole last night of freedom thing makes no sense to me. FH and I had plenty nights of Freedom already lol.

Wow, if I felt that strongly about something like a strip club and my FH just blew off my concern there would be a PROBLEM. :/

I actually go to the strip clubs with my FH and we have a ball! I'm a member of the Itty bitty's and I think that's your insecurities that need to be checked. If he decides to do something else, let him. If he wants strippers, let him. Distract yourself and go out of town for the weekend or get together with your girls. He will be home before you know it. My FH is going to Miami for his bachelor party and I trust his judgement

The update to your post is concerning. If you have expressed your discomfort and he is still going, there is a respect issue to deal with there. However, what is it other than your own insecurities about your looks that you object to with respect to strippers? Are you concerned he'll cheat on you? Do you have an issue with him looking at any other naked woman except you or are you ok with him looking at p0rn? Couples should be able to discuss these things and respect each other's boundaries and if him going to a strip club makes you uncomfortable, he should respect that.

I have a couple of classmates who used to be strippers and my cousin used to be a stripper. From what I was told, there is no need to be insecure of your body or be worried when your FH goes to strip clubs. They're not going to steal your hubby. They just want his money. That's all. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then yeah talk it over with him.

For me, I'm fine if FH goes to a strip club. My boss took his wife to one and she said it was fun. I've asked FH to take me with him but it has yet to happen. He said he's scared I'll get mad at him if he gets an erection from a lap dance. I said I'll only get mad if you start (1) touching her (2) if you get her number.

There are couples friendly strip clubs. Just saying.

Me and my fiancé had a talk about it and I asked him what he would do if his groomsmen had strippers at his bachelor party and he said he would leave and come home! All I could do was smile because he knows how uncomfortable I feel about it!

Ugh honey I'm having the same issue expect I'm worried about him going to the club :-/ I feel you on this one for real

Strippers and bachelor/bachelorette parties do not mix. It's blatantly disrespectful to any relationship. I don't understand why a future husband or wife thinks looking at another person naked is even okay. If your FH doesn't think it's a big deal now, what could he think about things in the future, and could he even be trusted? TBH, I, personally, wouldn't go through with the wedding if mine were to disregard my feelings and go anyway.