So we attended the Conference for the Engaged this past weekend… *Catholic Brides*

I attended Pre Cana on Sullivans Island near Charleston SC approx 20 yrs ago, and it was informative and enjoyable, I think it depends on the energy of the presenters

I am still Catholic, come from a very actively religious family,still attend mass, but really dont appreciate that I cannot remarry in the church I've been raised in because of divorce, but oh well, I deal. I do not want to change my faith, but its difficult being a divorced Catholic (I mean seriously, they hold the parish picnic on my family farm every single year since forever, I taught CCD for years, my parents are active in Parish Council, the Ladies Guild, Eucharistic ministers, you name it,and I cant get married by a Catholic priest because my first marriage didnt work??) Again, I deal, but I do reflect from time to time.................

I'm not sure about remarrying in the church since this will be my first but I will tell you the conference was also for those on their second marriage. At one point the 2nd marriage couples were taken into a different room for a discussion - over half the couples were getting married for the second time.

Your church sounds like my church ... they suck ;o) FH & I are currently in the process of finding a wonderful, welcoming church to join. (FH was put down by our priest because he is not baptized and he was never taught religion growing up)

When my friend Maria got married Aug 2010 she went through Catholic counseling and they had a NFP evening class to attend. It was two months before their wedding. They were supposed to be in the class 4 weeks before their wedding, but that was her due date. (She was pregnant.)

Does your church/diocese have classes you are required to attend? Maybe you haven't gotten to that one yet since you're a few months out?

Karen...I can relate on all levels. I am so sorry you have a pastor that sucks. You should shop around for a new one. My faith is what keeps me going most days. I am certified to teach Religion in Philly, was a Catholic grade school teacher, and taught CCD preparing several classes for Confirmation. I had my first marriage annulled about 10 yrs ago. It was a healing process. I didn't pay a dime because at the time, I was considered low income, so my parish sponsored me. When I eventually went back to work, I gave back to my parish for their generosity.

However, despite being a fully initiated Catholic, DH was never married in the Church. DH and I were free to have a Church marriage, and we would have had to take the classes. However, I didn't feel comfortable having a Nuptial Mass do over. We are going to have our marriage blessed and we have to take the classes.

Imho...where there is love, there is Him. Your wedding is perfect in His eyes.

@Meghan - They don't require NFP classes, but the class is recommended to attend for those interested. We will be attending just because we're both curious & interested in starting a family, it would be nice to know when I'm most fertile. The woman at the conference did say that there is new equipment out (forgot what its called) but basically you pee on a stick every morning and put it in this thing and it reads your hormone levels and lets you know where you are.

Kimi - we did the weekend retreat. We really enjoyed it (most parts) and I've stayed in touch with my roommate

The peeing daily on a stick sounds expensive. Go the free way, have sex every day. Eventually you'll get pregnant. And your husband will be a *very* happy man!

Once you begin NFP, your body will tell you when you're most fertile - it's when you're horniest.

If they have the class, take the class! They probably won't encourage the "daily sex". But if they do, let me know! We're doing Lutheran premarital counseling instead of Catholic.

We are attending the weekend retreat in the Diocese of Raleigh (NC) at the end of January and both of us are really looking forward to it. FH isn't Catholic but I have been raised Catholic since birth. It's my second marriage and we just got the decree from the Bishop of Raleigh giving us permission to get married in the Catholic church since my first marriage was done at the court house and wasn't recognized by the church. I'm glad you had a good time Kimi. Question though about the NFP thing...if I work night shift, would I do my temp or pee thing in the morning when I get off work? or when I wake up in the evening to go to work? and what about on my stretch of days off when I switch to an awake in the day/sleep at night schedule? I'm due to get my IUD out in February and we are wanting to start TTC in September after the wedding so I don't want to get put on another form of birth control. Hmm...I guess something for me to look into...

Kimi- At the Pre-Cana classes that my FH and I attended, they had a whole night of NFP. It was taught by a nurse who specializes in NFP and works for a regular OBGYN. Our Diocese is changin the way they do Pre-Cana so we were the "guinea pigs" for the new system. It was a lot of theology behind marriage and the sacrament but it was really interesting. The Preist who helped teach our classes was A LOT nicer than the Priest we are tryin to work with at my FH's church.

I'm interested in knowing more about NFP so I think I amgoing to contact the nurse who was part of our class. I can give you her email address if needed but a lot of people also suggested to read that book.

... still trying to figure out who that girl was that I overheard talking about WW... anyone else on here attend the conference this past weekend?

Aww... I was really hoping you'd find the other girl who was there!

Kimi, I am glad that your conference was productive! I hope you find the info you are you're looking for & the girl who was in attendance...

We went through it, and didn't care for it one bit.

We took the FOCUS and basically were ridiculed by the Deacon who was helping prepare us for marriage because we had so many things we marked differently ... however that test is a huge joke IMHO because the designers, know how they want you to answer it and put those answers out there ...

We didn't see eye to eye on a few things ... and basically had to sit through a horrid 3 hour meeting with the Deacon who kept going over it with us ... it pissed us both off so much ...

We did the same thing a few weekends ago... and when the NFP came up... The woman had 6 kids and 5 miscarriages with NFP... Yeah... she could have easily had 11 kids... (I'm irregular and NFP will not work so condoms it is!)

@MrsD2011- the FOCCUS survey for us was a nightmare as well. It was literally 2 hour torture that lead me to question my religion & my relationship with FH. I was in tears for a week. The only good thing about the survey was that FH & I had a very long, deep discussion about a lot of things. We were expecting an 8 hour lecture at the conference - similar to what we encountered at our parish but we were very surprised with the outcome. It was an amazing experience.

@Christina: Holy moly that's a lot of kids! NFP isn't for everyone I suppose :o)

We're doing our marriage prep course right now, and we're actually finding it a lot of fun. We love the "couple activities" we have to do. Gives us a chance to discuss things we never would have thought of talking about until we were at that point. Really helpful overall.

For any of you ladies that are frustrated and not happy with your church....I was there and strongly encourage you to keep looking! We went to several different churches in our area before finding one that welcomed us with open arms! They are out there...just hard to find sometimes!

Kimi, I live in a hippy town, but many people pay to take classes on NFP, look into herbal schools and see if they offer classes, even if they don't, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

So we're FINALLY meeting with FH's Priest the Monday before Thanksgiving and now all you ladies have made me nervous to go over the FOCCUS Inventory .... I hope that I don't have the same experience but if I do, is there any advice you can give me in how to deal with it while I am sitting in front of the Priest?

We are having a Catholic mass for our wedding. The priest who did our marriage prep is different from the priest who is marrying us. I can totally see how the FOCCUS would have led you to tears. Luckily for us, the priest who is marrying us told us in advance that it's just a tool and to not take it too seriously. I'm so glad we talked to him about it before we took it because some of those questions are just ridiculous...but thankfully we went into it with the right mindset.

We just met with our mentor couple last week and that went really well. We talked about a lot of things and I really enjoyed getting their perspective on the issues...sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about things than my own parents!

Next is the engaged encounter...we are also debating between the weekend retreat and the one-day option. The thing about the weekend retreat is that it's like $260...that's a lot of money for us.