Sister Drama-she won't come to the wedding

I think you should stand your ground. I don't want any kids at my wedding so quite honestly...I am extremely jealous of you right now. Just remember that your sister has the right to stay home and you have the right to not have children at your wedding. Don't be guilted into doing something you do not want to do. Have the day you want, the day we all want and enjoy it without screaming brats running around while their parents have a couple cocktails and pretend that they think their screaming kids behavior is "cute". Again...soooo jealous.

I don't understand why your family is making such a big deal about this... Let the adults have their fun and the baby will be about 2 months old... clearly not a newborn anymore... Stand your ground, but have a talk with your sister and tell her that you want her to have a great time at the wedding and not have to worry about tending to the baby. Make up something sappy that she will love. She is probably still hormonal and stuff... *deep breaths*

As a new mother I can honestly say that it is hard to leave your newborn, but she should have declined the invitation knowing she wasn't allowed to bring the baby. On the other hand, she is your sister and I would think you would make an exception for her to bring the baby if you really wanted her there, but it is what it is. To be frank I think it comes down to whether or not she's breastfeeding her baby - if she is, it would be very hard to be away from an infant that long since they need to eat every two hours and she would NEED to bring the baby if she were to come. However, if the child is formula fed, there is no reason she shouldn't be able to leave the baby. Actually, maybe she can leave the baby with her husband! There's an idea - that way the baby is in comfortable hands and your sister can still attend. Maybe throw that idea around? Good luck. Try not to blame the baby in this circumstance

Honestly even if she does breastfeed, they make these really fabulous things called pumps. I used one 19yrs ago when my daughter was born and she is just fine. In your sisters world her life revolves around her baby and that is fine. But she shouldn't impose her lifesyle on you or anybody else. Remember, this is your day. You are only going to get one. The only two people that you have to please are you and FH.

I think you should stand your ground on this one. FH and I had to go to a family wedding when my daughter was 2 months old. I never once thought it was appropriate to bring her to the wedding; I never would have asked to do that. My mom watched her; it was the first time we had ever left her alone for a prolonged period of time. I think i balled for about half an hour trying to leave the house, it really is hard trying to leave your baby for the first time. However, after i got my cryfest out, I was fine and we had a great time at the wedding.

I would definintly be pissed if I was you... A. because your own sister won't come to your wedding and B. she doesn't have the decensy (sp?) to tell you this to your face. Thats a coward. Sorry your going thru this, but she is a big girl, she can get a sitter for a few hours and survive. Even if she only got a sitter for the ceremony, that would show she at least cares and wants to be at your wedding. Sorry

The baby will only be 5 weeks, just over a month old. if you dont have a problem with your sister not coming to the wedding then so be it, but I think you will look back at this moment some day and realize that you regret not allowing your sister to bring your new niece. Weddings are a time for families coming together.

And if I read your OP right she never said she wouldn't come your father said he would tell her not to come.

I absolutely don't blame you at all. I think it's rude of your sister to insist that you break the rule for her. It's your day...hold your ground. She can find a sitter.

I'm pretty sure she didn't come directly to you because when she did you were not understanding and flat out refused to let her bring her baby. As far as she is concerned talking to you does no good. She was upset, she told her parents and your dad made the decision to call you and tell you how he felt.

I honestly think you are more worried about yourself and "your day" and have lost sight of the fact that this day isn't just about you. It is about you and your husband joining your families together and creating a new one at the same time. Does it really matter that much if there is 1 baby there? Don't you think if the baby cries the mother or father of the child will take it out of the church? What is the real issue here? Is it that you aren't getting your way?

Wow I was reading all the responses but when I read Jakita's I just had to stop and write. Just becuase you make a choice not to have your new neice/nephew at your wedding does not mean you are not close to your siblings. I made the same declaration when I get engaged. My sister informed me she was trying to get pregnant so she may be a new mother, and I told her she would have to get a sitter. We are very close but still thats what I want. She has the baby now, and he will be about 5 months. My concerns were 3 parts - I don't like kids and babies at receptions - crying and running like you (I love kids but not at what I think are grown up events) I don't want the day to become all about the new born - people tend to do that when there is a new born - selfish maybe but I only get this day once - and my biggest concern is my cousin was 6 months when my other cousin got married and when the minister asked "does anyone see just cause" she started screaming and thats on video. ....

Well, if you say no babies you can't really be upset from the fall out of it.

Honestly if I was your father I would be disappointed to. Like other people said, weddings (imo) are a time for families and I think that if you really wanted your family to be there you would allow her to bring her child. But if your fine not worrying about your family then go on ahead and say no babies.

As you can see by the comments, there are some mothers who would be fine leaving the child with a sitter for an extended period of time, and some that aren't. It's a personal decision and neither way is right or wrong. but either way you have to respect that decision and either decide to allow the baby, or decide that you don't care if your sister is there.

obviously there are a lot of conflicting opinions on this- but that is my 2 cents.

So for ours, my nephew is NOT going to be at the church, but we are now allowing him at the reception. Yes the immediate fam will want to see him, but most dont' know my sister and I am ok with that.

It seems like you guys aren't that close, since she just tried to add the baby on to the RSVP and it sounds like you aren't talking a lot...I think she should have politely declined (no reason is required to decline) and if you wanted to extend the olive branch you could've followed up with her. Instead whether she ends up coming or not you are going to be left with a bad memory of her causing unnecessary drama on your wedding day. 6 weeks is awful young to take a baby to a wedding IMO, way too many people would want to touch/hold the baby and I think that she should either leave the baby with her MIL or decline entirely for the completely acceptable reason of a newborn at home. Also I agree that perhaps her husband watching the baby so she could come to the ceremony/dinner portion of the evening would also be gracious of her.

I didn't read all the comments, so mine might be off.

But it's your wedding if you don't want babies there, then don't have them. I don't think that's selfish at all. I'm not a baby fan myself. And I don't want someone crying in the background, so we are not allowing children at our wedding. It's not a big deal to us, and we have already let everyone know. With that said, if your sister doesn't want to come because of that you can't really be mad at her for it. If she's not comfortable leaving her child. That's her decision.

I dont know i see both sides of the situation ... i think it all depends on how much you want your sister to be there ... the baby is just an infant and will not be running around every where, and if its just the one baby then it should not make you nervous on your big day, however she should respect your wishes and not act like a infant her self and run to mommy and daddy because she didnt like what you said ...

does not sound like you are that close to them any ways .... me personally dont want a bunch of kids sreaming at the reception HOWEVER i am REALLY close to my family and i can not imagine my big day with out them all there dancing and being so freakin cute and sweet, but then again i have my daughter who is 6 and FH 2 kids 9 and 11 so we are used to alittle crazieness ....

I think you need to just sit down face to face no phones not texts no computers and have a heart to heart with your sister,

I dont think you are being mean or ridiculous at all. the mil lives a mile away, its her sisters wedding and she should be able to suck it up and manage to be away from her baby for a few hours. i think you have every right to be upset about this. and then she cant even talk to you about it and calls your paretns to tell on you. she is the one being b!tchy

I am having no kids at my wedding. IMO if you break the rule for one person (even if it is your sister) you are going to have a lot of people who have kids and wanted to bring them, but you told them no--they are going to see that as unfair--because it isn't fair.

Kids at a wedding are personal prefrence, I could never imagine leaving them out, especially my nieces and nephews, so I can see why she (sister) is upset. The baby is fairly new and I wouldn't want to leave my baby alone for relatively long periods of time either, and some of these people who go back to work after 6 weeks have no choice but to go back to work.

Unfortantely, some people do not have good relationships with their siblings (like me and my sister also) and yes, she should of came to you directly about this, but the only thing you can really do is rideit out and see if things cool off, or do what I did when my sister threw a fit and decided not to come to our wedding (twice) Not care.

I'd like to point out a few things (based on personal experience)

1) Not allowing her to bring the baby, will probably cause the already stressed situation, to get worse, and not just between you and her, but parents and other fmaily members also, and probably be an issue for years. There comes a time when one just has to buck up, keep your mouth closed (even though you REALLY want to tear a strip off sibling) and sacrifice for the greater/later peace (which ALL my siblings have to do for my sister, at one time or another) So, basically, pick and chose your battles.

2) If I were a guest, I would understand that nieces and nephews are a given at a child-free wedding. That's immediate family.

Not saying you have to or don't, but just my personal expeirnces.

We are going through this now, My very young (19) brother and his young wife (19) just had a baby, and I want a no children reception.

Keep in mind where your sister is at, she is still hormonal and not getting any sleep. Her life, (and your parents, especially if its the first), revolves around the baby because its still new. Give everyone some time before pushing it again, but stand your ground. In 6 weeks, she may be ready for a break, but right now she can't see leaving her new (and i am assuming first) baby with anyone but her, and thats the hormones talking.

In a few weeks, talk to your sister, let her know you want her to be there, but that unfortunately the baby isn't invited, and that you hope she will change her mind. And tell your father how you feel about him taking sides. But the best thing to do is stand your ground and give it time. Remember that people will do what they want to do, and you should not let it affect your and your FH's day

I know I have to talk to her....she is super unapproachable right now. I'm going to wait it out and see what comes of it come middle of august.