Sister Drama-she won't come to the wedding

I wouldn't come to your wedding either! are you not allowing her to be at the ceremony either?

it's obvious that you and your sister are not close; if that was my sister, i would want her and the baby to be there. and it does sound like you are being VERY selfish.

i hope your niece never finds out you didn't want her to be at your wedding, because that's going to be an awkward conversation...

I just wish she would respect my wishes. She had her wedding day, and guess what, she had the same NO KID rule. But somehow now that it's not her special day, these rules must not apply to her.

Sorry, a 6 week old does not belong at a wedding.

It sounds like you think she got knocked up on purpose:

"I just wish she would respect my wishes. She had her wedding day, and guess what, she had the same NO KID rule. But somehow now that it's not her special day, these rules must not apply to her."

i think she is respecting your wishes; since she can't bring the baby, she's staying home, with her child (since they apparently freak you out)

Ummm...she may be respecting the wishes, but she's obviously not adult enough about it to call the OP, which is just pathetic. Frankly, your parents are to be blamed too Jessica, if my sister called my parents to whine about me they would listen and then tell her to talk to me as they wouldn't get in the middle.

If I were your sister, I would come for the ceremony and dinner, and leave shortly thereafter. About the duration of a good nap.

I agree with GLenn on this one. Parents shouldn't be used as a referee. You are all adults.

You spoke your opinion about the matter, and I will respect that. Mocking me is not necessary, Jakita.

I think the issue of leaving your newborn is a sensitive one and hard to understand if you are not a mother.

Maybe you two could work something out

My mom stays out of this stuff, she will listen, voice her opinion to both parties involved, but knows that this is our "battle" to fight. My dad on the other hand, is trying to bully me it feels like. Telling me that I'm selfish, and that I'm a disapointment to him. And that he'll tell her not to come if I don't change my mind.

Whoa there Jessica M! i'm not mocking you at all. but let's be for real here:

i think you BOTH are being a little selfish. she definitely should not have involved your parents, bc i'm assuming you both are adults.

secondly (and this could be bc i have a wonderful relationship with my little sister) i would NEVER make her choose between me and her baby. and IF (and that's a big IF) i did ever make her choose, she better choose her child!

p.s. you admitted you were being "a little selfish"! so don't get mad if i am confirming that you are

Getting upset with your sister for not coming to you is understandable. Being mad at her for not coming to your wedding because of the baby is not ok IMO. If you can't make the exception fine. But don't be mad at her for following your rules whether her MIL lives close by or not. Sounds like you guys aren't close anyway so whats the big deal?

While I don't think her response was appropriate, in my honest opinion, I would allow her to bring the baby. The baby won't even be 2 months old. That's very young to be left alone, especially if this is her first baby. And, especially if she breastfeeds (which I have no idea if she does or not, just saying). I think if you can make an exception for FH's 17 year old cousin, you should be able to allow your sister to bring her newborn. Chances are, she won't feel like being there the whole time. And maybe she won't even come at all. I would never, never ask a mother to be away from such a young infant for so long. And yes, to a newborn, 5 hours is a long time. That's just my opinion, and you're more than welcome to disagree But I can see why she would be upset.

Big deal is that my parents are mad at us for neither one giving in. If she thinks she can't leave the baby, then she should have RSVPed that she couldn't make it, opposed to the way she choose to do it. It's not so much her that I don't get along with , it's her hubby. If she really wanted to come to the wedding, she could easily leave hubby and baby at home.

I'm not even going to worry about it. This is the last thing I need to be worrying about right now.

Thank you ladies for all your comments and support.

Do you mind me asking how old the two of you are?

I am 22 and she will be 30 in September. We are at two completely different stages in our lives.

Funny thing is, the 4 of us were just in Jamaica in May 2010 having the time of our lives. Funny how things change.

That is a big age gap. Since you haven't been on speaking terms for 6 months and good terms for a year something has happened to damage the relationship. You have to decide what is more important to you. If you want to extend an olive branch to her, if she chooses not to accept it so be it. But again, your choice.

I would not leave my husband either.....I think you are being selfish!!

I guess you would have to know my situation better to fully understand the way things are. There are not enough hours in the day to explain all of that.

I'm sorry I'm 30 and I can't get why the sister can't get over leaving the baby for a few hours and at least be there for the ceremony. Time for her to grow up.