Sister Drama-she won't come to the wedding

I think it is something more there because why would you (sis) get upset about not being able to bring the baby.

As stated before, we leave babies early to go back to work.

I say the heck with it, stand your ground and enjoy your beautiful wedding day with your husband.

Then, next next year when you have a wedding to go to... you stay your butt home with your new baby, LOL...

Well wishes on your wedding!

When it comes to families no matter the situation it is always hard to please everyone. I am sorry you are going through this at a time when you should be so excited. I am a parent of 3 adult males. I tell them to work it out, but also tell them when I die they are all they have left of me. Sisters are tough I have two we are loving but I keep my distance. I hate drama. My advice to you is...do whatever you can live with. Right now you are upset and I can understand that. A few months after the wedding you might feel different. Take a deep breath and do what is right for you and FH.

Love and Light.

@Kathleen, the baby would not be "left alone", it would be left with a trusted person. Also, you make a comparison between a 6 week old baby and a 17 year old! Whoa! Um, honey, big difference there.

Tell me if I am wrong, but, I think that the 17 year old will not cry during the ceremony. Will not demand a diaper change, nor that mom will want everyone to "look and see how cute MY child is".

The baby should NOT be at the wedding, nor the reception.

@Glenn, as a woman who now has a grown child, my daughter spent times as an infant, with my parents while my husband and I went out for an evening or to a event. She grew up to be just fine, so I totally agree with you.

If she doesn't want children at her wedding so be it. It's her wedding. So don't be angry if people with children choose not to come.

I have that same thing going on with my bother and his girl. She called me a bi*ch because I said no kids at all. the baby will be the 2 mouths old by the time of my wedding. I look at like this she can fine a sitter, her mom takes care of the kid when she at work. He is comig thow. So not not the same then.

I think it's terrible that your father is saying he won't come if you don't allow the baby to be there. He shouldn't even be involved in this at all.

Personally I would not have left either of my kids at only 6 weeks (I just wouldn't. Plus the fact that I nursed my kids was another issue.), but if your sister chooses to stay at home then she does, you should not suffer for her choice.

I have to say that if it were my sister I would let her come and I'm sure your guests would see that it was a reasonable exception to your 'No Children' rule. I also doubt she will be expecting you to be around the baby or hold it etc.. (And hopefully she would be polite enough to leave the room if the baby started crying.) But in the end it's your wedding and your father shouldn't be blackmailing you IMHO.

Someone said "I think you are both being a little selfish..." (I didn't look at the name and don't wanna call anyone out lol) ok... maybe so... but on your wedding day, shouldn't one be allowed to be "a little selfish"... if you had a new years eve party to go to, would you bring a 6 week old baby?? no... but yet people go to them all the time and guess what... they get a babysitter... it's not that uncommon... yes... even people with 6 week old babies... and they don't bring them because it is not an environment you would want your 6 week old baby at... its just one night... it's not like your leaving with a suit case or anything... I honestly am very surprised at how a lot of people are reacting to this... I am not saying that to be rude either... I truly am surprised... I guess I just assumed that it would be like any other night someone with a newborn would go to a party... u get a babysitter... for ONE night...and not even a full night lol

A newborn at the wedding everybody will be looking at the baby and who wants all those people around there new born anyway, yuck to many germs. You correct she can get sitter for a few hours she will probably want to have a lilt e time away by then

EXACTLY! THE GERMS!! omg... she'd have to bring like 2 gallons of hand sanitizer!

Whatever you choose to do, your dad calling you a disappointment is just ridiculous..hopefully he apologizes to you for that.

No kids meand just that. I support your decision. If you make an exception you will mostlikely just piss someone else off. IJS...

@Kathy-I'm not comparing a newborn and a 17 year old. What I said is that she said NO KIDS. No exception. Yet she's making an exception for one, but not for another. If she wants no kids there, that's totally fine. It's her wedding and if she doesn't want them there, she shouldn't feel pressured into that. But it's not fair to make an exception for one and not for others. Being 17 doesn't matter. Just like being 15 or 10 or 6 weeks shouldn't. Any fairly good mother isn't going to sit through a ceremony while her baby cries. She's going to quietly leave and take care of it. And you really can't assume that the mother is going to try and get attention with her baby. That's not fair.

One last thing. If this was my sister, I would be bending over backwards so that should could come to my wedding and feel like I wanted her there.

If you really want your sister there, and if she really wants to be there, perhaps you can try to find someone trusted who can watch the baby. Or, even, maybe your sister's husband can come (with the baby) and watch the baby somewhere else during just the ceremony. She might not even want to stay for the reception

They do have someone trusted... the sisters mil... I think that's another reason she is so upset... because she HAS someone who can watch the baby...

and really... a 17 year old may not be a legal adult... but lets be real... they can feed themselves, they don't have to be "watched" and you don't have to worry about them running around the reception and crying during the ceremony... I'm sure if her sister had a 17 year old, she wouldn't tell her they couldn't come...

I also think she would allow the baby if she and the sister were close. Maybe lol!!

@Katie- She asked if I thought she was asking too much. Personally, I do. I think it's unfair. But that's my opinion and it's her wedding and I'm sure nothing I say is going to matter in the end.

@katie r: no need to call out anyone bc i was the one who said that they were both being selfish, and they are!

that being said, comparing a wedding to a NYE party is not a very good example, bc there is definitely an age limit on who can come to those. also, there is always going to be a NYE (and a corresponding party), so most people would wait until the kid got a little older bf leaving it with anyone!

and maybe it's just me, but there are lot of us brides on here who have family tension, (so much so that they are kicking people out of the wedding!) and im not used to that. i'm certainly not saying that my family is perfect (not by a LONG shot), BUT they are my family and no matter what they come first.

so yeah, if i were in the OP position, i would let her bring her baby, bc she and my niece are FAMILY!

oh and lastly, they are BOTH being selfish/childish, bc no one wants to lose this battle; but in the end they both lose bc they've lost a relationship w/ each other

We are not having any children at our wedding. If I had a sister with a baby, I would hope that she would respect my wishes.

I think you are perfectly within your rights to say it's an adults-only wedding. But I also think that you have to understand that many people are very reluctant to leave a baby under 6 months alone for several hours, especially if they are breastfeeding. Thus, one of the consequences of having an adults-only wedding may be having your sister not there.

I think perhaps you should talk to your sister. She may have "whined" to your parents because she feels conflicted between her child and a sister that she wants a relationship with in hopes that maybe if your parents talked to you about it you could see it her way.

You keep talking about how your dad is saying he doesn't think she should go but you don't even know if that's the way she feels.

I for one could never leave a 6mo old alone even with my mom...it's just not something I could do and it would kill be if I had to choose my sisters wedding or my child