Emily
Devoted October 2016

RSVP issue!

Emily, on September 28, 2016 at 7:42 PM Posted in Planning 0 29
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Our RSVP deadline was one week ago & we still have quite a list of people that haven't responded. I split up the list for my family, friends of my FH, & family & friends from FH's side to give to his mom. Me, my mom & dad handled our side, FH handled his, but FH's mom is unwilling to talk to any of the 23 couples she needs to.

I feel very frustrated because we were very flexible with our guest list (no restrictions) & she added people continuously & I had to accommodate (we ran out of invites at one point & had to order more).

Part of her unwillingness is that she does not agree with doing a seating chart. That's fine, but we are doing one & that is that. She does not understand that I need definite answers from these people. 23 couples can alter our catering plans & seating plans significantly. Her response was that maybe 10-15% out of those remaining 23 couples will make it. I think we all know that people may end up coming when you think they won't.

Any advice?!

29 Comments

  • Taryn
    VIP June 2017
    Taryn ·
    • Flag

    You call them yourself to follow up.

    • Reply
  • Diane
    VIP October 2016
    Diane ·
    • Flag

    Can you reach out to them yourself?

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    VIP August 2016
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    If you have their phone numbers or at this point even their Facebook to send a message to them I would do that

    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
    • Flag

    You and FH start calling them.

    • Reply
  • SummerS
    Master January 2016
    SummerS ·
    • Flag

    You and your FH just need to contact these people yourselves.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted October 2016
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    I don't know most of them, they are family friends, and she didn't give me their numbers. I can definitely Facebook some of them, and ask her for the others' numbers- that might make her budge a little!

    Has anyone dealt with a large number of unknowns when planning? What if they show up even if we don't hear from them one way or another? Ahh- freaking out!!

    • Reply
  • Mailena
    Dedicated November 2016
    Mailena ·
    • Flag

    Do it yourselves. I just posed something like this. People are annoying. Just cut her out of the rest and see her in your big day.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.White
    Devoted October 2016
    FutureMrs.White ·
    • Flag

    I would definitely try and follow up if I were you, as annoying as it is that they are people she wanted on the list. We had 3 separate out of state guests not receive their invitations. I felt so bad, they thought they weren't invited! You can't give a solid number of 10%-15% if you aren't even sure that people received their invitations, or maybe the RSVP's got lost in the mail on their way back to you.

    • Reply
  • Taryn
    VIP June 2017
    Taryn ·
    • Flag

    Just out of curiosity what's FMILs issue with seating charts? I have have heard of people not wanting to do them bc it's a lot of work but I have never heard of someone being so against it.

    • Reply
  • Bianca
    Just Said Yes July 2017
    Bianca ·
    • Flag

    People will go without rsvp trust me. Try to contact them. And leave a few spaces open. When I started doing my guest list I was really strict, if I don't know them, they're not coming!

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted October 2016
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    @Taryn Not sure - she has been to a couple of weddings and since they didn't do it there she is against them. She is from a small town, I'm from a larger town, I think she thinks my thoughts on some of this stuff is that its too fancy (or something?) for her and her smaller-town-friends.

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  • Emily
    Devoted October 2016
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    @FutureMrs.White Yes! I have found out from several people that they didn't receive their invites and I'm so embarrassed. If it weren't for following up, they would have assumed they weren't invited.

    • Reply
  • Andrea Davis
    December 2019
    Andrea Davis ·
    • Flag

    You can try reaching those that you have access to but ultimately it was their responsibility to respond. If they do show up after you give your final count you will notice during the ceremony. At that time you can let your coordinator know to make it clear that while you appreciate them attending your ceremony, they will be unable to attend the following reception due to lack of notice. They can't be mad about that. Your caterer will need that final count soon so move forward with the guest that respectfully responded.

    • Reply
  • Taryn
    VIP June 2017
    Taryn ·
    • Flag

    Hmm weird. FMIL sounds like a pain. Good luck! Hopefully she at least gets the phone numbers for you.

    • Reply
  • MelissaErin
    Master December 2016
    MelissaErin ·
    • Flag

    If she isn't willing to contact them herself, fine. See if she will at least get you their phone numbers so you can call yourself.

    • Reply
  • FutMcFarland
    Super January 2017
    FutMcFarland ·
    • Flag

    Start calling them yourself, or your FH

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted October 2016
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    I let her know that our wedding planner will call them to find out (she will, she has told me this before) and she immediately asked for the planner's number. AHK!

    • Reply
  • Blair Waldorf
    Master October 2017
    Blair Waldorf ·
    • Flag

    I would kindly inform her that if she can't get the rsvp's for the guest she said needed to be there then she can let them know there will not be any seats reserved for them at your wedding

    • Reply
  • LosForTheWin
    VIP July 2017
    LosForTheWin ·
    • Flag

    That's frustrating! I guess ask for their numbers and make the calls yourself.

    • Reply
  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
    • Flag

    Can them yourselves.

    • Reply

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