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Beginner September 2020

Registry and Small Weddings?

Joy, on March 28, 2019 at 12:56 AM Posted in Registry 0 11
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So, my wedding will more than likely max out at 50 people with both my family and his combined. And we're not even sure that many will come. Lol
That said, how do you make a registry when you're starting from next to nothing (we live separately, and although I've started collecting things for our house together all I have equipped is the kitchen, bathroom, and our library lolol) he's going to be in charge of getting our house furnished when we finally get it!! Lol but there's more to a home than a Kitchen, bathroom, and a couch/bed/table, you get it lol...

So..... How much stuff do I put on a registry? With such a small guest list should I even have one? Is it rude to have one with such a small group coming? Is it rude to have one when there's family drama going on? (Some of my family might not come because of the level of drama... some haven't spoken to me in 3 years because of it...I REALLY don't want any of them to think I'm only inviting them so they get something for my house... because THAT IS NOT THE CASE. I LOVE my family, I don't want them to think I invited them for what they can offer me when I'm inviting them to share the best day of my life so far with me and the love of my life) How do I go about inviting them when they haven't been a part of my life in so long? Should I only mention the registry to non-drama-affiliated family members? Or just not have one at all so I don't cause offense? What do I put on it if I do make one? What is the limit? One item per guest invited? (Like if 50 people were invited, only list 50 small items or something?) I'm so confused!!!!

Please help!! My FH and I want to have a great day together just enjoying each other and our families on such a beautiful ans holy day. Any and all advise welcome!!! Thank you!!

11 Comments

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride
    • Flag
    Totally ok to have a registry! I鈥檇 put lots of stuff you want on it because some places like Macy鈥檚 & BBB give you a discount on any items not purchased. 馃槉 Plus, some friends of your parents or co-workers might ask if you have a registry so be sure to have lots of $5-$15 items too.

    It鈥檚 proper etiquette to NOT include registry info on your invites or website. You wait until someone asks if you鈥檙e registered, then you can tell them. Some guests might decide to give you cash anyway.
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Devoted May 2021
    Megan
    • Flag
    I don't know if this will help...

    Registry and Small Weddings? 1
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias
    • Flag

    A registry is just a guide for your guests to let them know what you like in case they decide to buy you a gift. Most gifts are purchased for a shower but sometimes people will also buy gifts off your registry for the wedding. So if your loved ones are throwing you a shower it is a good idea to register. Register for lots of items in different price points so your guests have plenty of choices.

    I only had 40 guests and still registered. We registered at Macy's, Pottery Barn, and Williams Sonoma. As another PP said, most places give you discounts after the wedding for completing your registry so even if you don't get that item as a wedding gift it is still a good idea to register for it. Our Macy's registry was our biggest one and we had it nearly completed at the shower. Our Pottery Barn was smaller and was halfway completed, and then our Williams Sonoma was the smallest and we had it about a third completed.

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  • Alycia
    Super July 2020
    Alycia
    • Flag

    My wedding is about the same size as yours. I will have my registry on our wedding website, which is common in today's wedding world, because it allows people to choose whether they want to visit the registry page or not. I'm building our website now and, on the registry page, the first thing guests see is a message that reads:

    "Your presence on our wedding day would be our greatest gift."


    The message goes on to say the registry is there for friends and family who have requested it. Everything on the registry is $50.00 and under, including gifts around $10.00. Many guests prefer to have a registry to refer to because it makes gift-giving much simpler.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle
    • Flag

    There is nothing wrong with creating a registry, despite your family circumstances and the size of your guest list. Simply register for everything you want, in a range of prices. Your guests will either buy you a gift off of it or not, that is their choice. Having a registry is a NORMAL thing, and no one will think you are being greedy. You can insert a details card in your invitation suites or list it on your wedding website. Either way, word it something like "Although your presence is more important than presents, if you'd like to give the bride and groom a gift, they are registered at (insert registry)."

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  • A
    Master October 2019
    Angelena
    • Flag

    We were told at BBB to have double our guest list but I thought that was pushing it. I am only having about 30 people invited to the bridal shower. Our list taps out 100+ items but you figure a lot of those are tiny cheaper items that people can/will buy a bunch of and put together a basket/box of the smaller items. Plus registries stay active well beyond the wedding so they can be used for family and friends to buy birthday/christmas gifts still and you can purchase leftovers as you go (and places give discounts too after the wedding date). So I wouldn't worry about all the other nonsense drama you mentioned which shouldn't pertain to you registry. Register for whatever you need hun and let everyone know! Wedding websites have a spot to put your registry and typically people put wedding website link on their STDs and invite info card. Then for a bridal shower the actually registry info is shared with those guests!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD
    • Flag

    50 people doesn't seem SUPER small, I think having a registry is totally fine. In my experience, you'll get 1 gift per household invited, so I'd try not to put more than that on the registry since some people will just gift cash anyway. People don't HAVE to buy you gifts, so just make one anyway! Smiley smile Put your website on your save the dates & invites, people will know to find your registry there. The gifts don't have to be small either, you can have an array of prices.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly Online
    • Flag
    I was told to put 2 things per invited guest on a registry. And most of our guests bought multiple things but that was just my personal experience.
    • Reply
  • LMBT
    Dedicated April 2019
    LMBT
    • Flag

    I think it can be rude not to have a registry and leave guests guessing.


    We have a small wedding too but i'm spreading the word that I'm out for those registry completion discounts, so that people don't feel strange when they see that I've registered for a lot of stuff, including some very expensive items.

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  • Tamara
    VIP August 2019
    Tamara
    • Flag

    Yes, you can register. I am having a wedding of 50 as well and created three different registries with things at various price points. Some were upgrades of things we already have since we do not live together currently either and then some fun stuff like board games, smart home devices like a Nest. It's just to give people options, I saw somewhere that you should register for two gifts per person for some reason.....I forgot the rationale the site gave. Ha! Smiley winking

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  • Melissa O'
    Devoted April 2019
    Melissa O'
    • Flag
    We eloped 40 years ago and my grandmother insisted that I have a registry, anyway.

    It was sweet, we didn't get a lot of gifts, but each gift had more meaning because it was given freely.

    Put stuff on your registry that you really want or need. You'll be happier. And don't worry about looking greedy, everybody knows that it is a fantasy wish list.
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