Registries Usage

We had been living together for years prior to marriage, so we used the registry for updated, higher end items. We registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond (they still existed then) and Wayfair. Both were online registries. The cash fund registries are a bit of a scam. They take a percentage to be the middle man. If people want to give cash, they usually do so in a card at the wedding, so I honestly don’t see the benefit of a cash fund.

Unpopular opinion but there is no situation where a registry is not beneficial. A registry is a wish list of things that the couple needs and wants that they don’t want to spend their own money on. Some social circles do not give cash gifts because they see it as impersonal and other social circles refuse to buy physical gifts because they view it as clutter. Either way, it’s the couple letting guests know what they need so that guests don’t go rogue and buy something that cannot be returned to a store when they don’t want it or it’s a duplicate. Don’t understand the argument either that a couple living together for any period of time can’t use upgrades and donate older mismatched items.


As a guest, I personally prefer physical stores. We will shop online if that is the only option, but in our families and friend groups, the gift is still mailed to the buyer and taken to the wedding to place on the gift table with everyone else’s. We registered at Target and Wayfair for the ones who insisted on online shopping. We didn’t have anything mailed to us so that was not a concern. In our families, cash gifts are not given for any occasion so we didn’t expect any and that was fine with us.

We moved in together about a year before getting engaged and moved into a new house about a month before, and we’re both middle-aged and had been living independently for a long time. So we merged two VERY full houses together not long ago, and we’re getting rid of soooo much stuff. So we don’t need anything and have no idea what we’d even register for.


We decided to request donations to our favorite charities in lieu of gifts. I’m sure some folks will still give money or their usual wedding gift, but we’d be happiest to get nothing but them at our wedding.

With so many couples living together prior to marriage most people I know would not bat an eye at being invited to a shower or utilizing a registry. Actually, registries are supposed to be the couple’s list that people have to search for or ask about, not a way to solicit gifts. At least that is the spin.


Personally, I never registered since I’m of the traditional view that a registry is in fact exactly what it appears to be. I’ll use them to buy for others, though, usually for a shower or engagement present. In my circles people tend to give money in some form as the wedding gift.
I prefer shopping from store registries to the online ones which tend to also promote registering for cash, gift cards, honeymoon expenses, a home purchase etc. To me, a registry is one thing but it is in bad taste to blatantly ask for money.

View Quoted Comment This is the etiquette that our social circles follow as well. The guests seek out the information themselves instead of the couple linking it to anything and cash in any form is viewed as inappropriate to ask for.

The discussion above is so thoughtful, thank you to those who decided to comment. I feel like I understand better the ways of thinking guest and family will have around registries. Also, it is always interesting to hear what different social circles do!

I would totally register. Upgrade some items around your house. Put some fun/crazy things on there. People will want to buy you something, so you might as well give them some ideas! We registered for new camping chairs, stadium seats, a floating cooler. Think about stuff you've always wanted, but haven't bought.

We did a honeymoon fund and a small gift registry ti let guests choose (and several guests gave us cash). That could be an option.

My husband and I are married for 3 years and just now we are doing a ceremony (March). We have everything already and that's the reason we are doing HoneyFund. This way the guests will help with honeymoon

I just asked a question about this category.

I, too, already have been living with my Fiancé. I know that there are some things we would wish to have, like upgraded appliances--- like a blender that blends ingredients for smoothies and can make baby food.

If you can think of things that would benefit you in the future, you might know if you need to add a registry.